New here and not sure if...

[SheWrites1980]

Hello everyone,


I just signed up for this forum today. I'm not sure if I'm struggling with anxiety or depression or if I'm just sad. I lost my mom a little over two years ago and it was very sudden. I could give more details but I'll just say that I've recently started dating a man I can see myself marrying one day. He has told me that he doesn't think I've dealt with my mother's death, I haven't accepted it. I understand what he means - this is in no way a complaint of his or an insult to me, just an honest observation.


I guess my question is, what do I do to accept it? It's not that I'm in denial. I know it happened. I've been living over two years without her in my life when before I lived with her and saw her every day. But I haven't accepted that she's gone. Maybe I never will?


If anyone has advice or an opinion about this, I would really appreciate it.


Thanks!

 

[redpanda]

Have you considered working with a therapist? They might be able to help you work through your feelings. If you're feeling sad a lot (that's what I gathered from your post, anyway), your partner might be right. Either way, I'm very sorry for your loss.

 

[cecejailer]

The only difference between sadness and depression is how long you suffer from it. Sadness happens after a bad event or realization, but after a few days you get over it and move on. Depression is when the sadness is so, so terrible, it corrupts your soul and makes you completely lazy and unmotivated. You mentioned you lost your mother, how were you right after that? Did you feel absolute sadness or were you numb? Because I lost my father a few years ago as well, and I don't think I've dealt with this to this day. I was really young back then but my mother tells me I didn't even look sad, I just couldn't believe what was happening. You might need a therapist to help you deal with these conflicts.