New discovery: my anxiety stems from deep self hatred. Any suggestions?

[MasterRoshi]

So after a few weeks of attempting to be insanely aware of my thoughts and digging deep into what’s causing my anxiety, I realized every single social anxiety moment stems from me thinking very poorly about myself.

Here’s a really great example from last night. Was at an office party for Halloween. My coworker (coworker A) was a little drunk, and she mentioned that the reason why one of our coworkers (Coworker B) really likes me is because of how nice I am and how unlike a normal meat head guy I am.

My first thought was “that’s so nice!” Followed immediately by a group of negative self talk such as, “coworker B doesn’t actually like me, Cowoker A is just saying that cuz I mentioned I hung out with coworker B once last week.” And “I’m not like a normal man, I’m less of a man.” And “Cowoker A is just saying that cuz she’s drunk.” And “coworker B doesn’t actually like me and Cowoker A read the situation wrong.” On and on.

This type of thing is often and constant. For example that coworker who apparently likes me or doesn’t (depending in the voice in my head lol) invited me to hang outback with her and her BF today. But I haven’t yet received a phone call or text about it. So immediately I am thinking it must be because she doesn’t actually like me at all and realized I’m a loser and that I’m lame.

And these are the thoughts that I can see and grasp. This happens a million more times on a very fast micro level, which result in a negative self image always.

Basically I just really hate myself and have super negative thoughts constantly that I can’t help but think and then believe.

Does anyone else experience this and know how to combat it??? Are there any techniques that actually work that allow me to work on changing my self image so that I’m ok being me??

 

[Rinka]

Self hatred is sadly the route of a lot of issues and very hard to over come. It basically means that you have cut yourself some slack, something that on one else ever did. At some point in your life you learn that you are not good enough, that you don’t deserve being happy. It’s really hard to reprogram yourself but I think it’s possible. Cognitive behaviour therapy is supposed to help you with it, also meditation and “self hypnosis” can help. While you are meditating, you listen to a tape that tells you that you are good, that you are worth it and that you are forgiven (no need to involve a god there).