New depression experience

[Selymennaalrac]

I’m 13 and I’ve always struggled my whole life with being depressed, I had the type where I feel numb and empty (not feeling sad) and didn’t see a point in living. I wanted to kill myself and tried 4 times. However I stopped as I got better due too a new year in school and better friends. But recently I have been thinking about my past (which is normal for me) but something strange happened. I felt unbelievably sad and I have no idea why. I sat there crying on the floor of my room on a Sunday afternoon for no reason. I’m not sure whether it was because I wanted to go back and re-live my memories, or if I am unsettled and still trapped in the past. It’s now a regular thing for me to sit in my room and cry. How do I stop? And why am I doing it?

 

[imsotired]

aww i am so sorry you are feeling this way i have been in your position multiple times. just remember to always gets better even if you dont think it will which i felt countless times before.

what has worked for me if self care/ taking care of yourself. self care is a big one for me as it makes me feel good and confident. Also i use this strategy called HALT UB H= HUNGER A= angry L= lonely T = tired u= uncomfortable b= bored. this is a rlly great strategy. looking at your basic needs and then working away around them if that makes scene.
in my room i also have written down quotes that mean things to me that inspires me which i wrote in colour as i love colors.
i use journaling. getting thoughts out onto paper really helps lay out what you are struggling with, working out ways to solve it. also i find that when you are in a good mood, looking back on the not so good days youve had, you see things get better.
something that worked for me before is writing a letter to the ting or person you are mad at and then throwing it in the bin and not actually sending it or you can do this on your phone and delete it but i prefer paper
a gratitude journal rlly helps with depression. there is so many things to be thankful for such as being alive, being able to breathe
also doing things that you love doing. finding a hobby like guitar, piano etc is great. coloring is great too! sometimes even putting yourself first and having to cancel a plan is good as sometimes just by being alive is enough.

also just think if you commit suicide how many people will miss you and how it will affect your family especially your parents. youll never get to meet other people in the world waiting to meet you and love you. remember many of our struggles are temporary and suicide is perenent which cant be taken back. suciside is never the awnser there is help out there. therapist, friends and family

goodluck sttay strong