New Concern

[FinneousRex]

I promise you I am not trying to be rude with what I am about to say. I think keeping this thread going on here is making things worse for you. I’ve been on here about a month and I’ve seen you at this rock bottom point this entire time. I don’t see this thread helping you at all, as whenever someone says something, it’s becoming a connection in your head.

Yeah anxiety is terrible, I 100% get it because I deal with it every single day, but there’s a point where you have to tell yourself “okay, I am making myself worse, my doctors are trying to help me, but I keep telling myself they are wrong, the people in the forum keep on telling me that I’m fine and to stop worrying and I keep telling them they are wrong and I keep telling myself that I am sick when there’s no professional medical proof that I am sick, therefore, I am the common denominator in every problem I have, maybe I am the issue”. I know that’s rough to hear. But you know why I am telling you this? Because I went through the SAME THING years ago! I literally first hand did what you’re doing. And after 4 months of suffering. I learned to get over it and let it go. Sure enough. Nothing was wrong. I was fine. And as soon as I got over the whole telling myself I’m sick thing, the symptoms went away...

Set a goal for yourself. Go to each one of your doctors/specialists one more time with your concerns, have them retest you for everything, and once you get the “all clear”, then accept what they are telling you. There’s a point where you have to come to acceptance. And if you keep going over and over and over, then if there actually is an issue in the future, they aren’t going to believe you as much.

One of the number one rules in medicine (yes, you have heard it on TV, too) Patients lie. Patients fabricate. Patients connect things that shouldn’t be connected. Because they AREN’T doctors.

Please. Get yourself some professional mental health assistance. Go to weekly therapy sessions. Everything you’re writing on here, write it in a journal and bring it with you. Let the professionals help you. If you keep asking them for help and pushing them away saying they’re wrong, that’s like the whole “biting the hand that feeds you” thing. Please. For your own sake and sanity. Try to trust your doctors. And consider not relying on this forum as much, as it seems to be exacerbating what you’re dealing with.

 

[Scared1234]

I promise you I am not trying to be rude with what I am about to say. I think keeping this thread going on here is making things worse for you. I’ve been on here about a month and I’ve seen you at this rock bottom point this entire time. I don’t see this thread helping you at all, as whenever someone says something, it’s becoming a connection in your head.

Yeah anxiety is terrible, I 100% get it because I deal with it every single day, but there’s a point where you have to tell yourself “okay, I am making myself worse, my doctors are trying to help me, but I keep telling myself they are wrong, the people in the forum keep on telling me that I’m fine and to stop worrying and I keep telling them they are wrong and I keep telling myself that I am sick when there’s no professional medical proof that I am sick, therefore, I am the common denominator in every problem I have, maybe I am the issue”. I know that’s rough to hear. But you know why I am telling you this? Because I went through the SAME THING years ago! I literally first hand did what you’re doing. And after 4 months of suffering. I learned to get over it and let it go. Sure enough. Nothing was wrong. I was fine. And as soon as I got over the whole telling myself I’m sick thing, the symptoms went away...

Set a goal for yourself. Go to each one of your doctors/specialists one more time with your concerns, have them retest you for everything, and once you get the “all clear”, then accept what they are telling you. There’s a point where you have to come to acceptance. And if you keep going over and over and over, then if there actually is an issue in the future, they aren’t going to believe you as much.

One of the number one rules in medicine (yes, you have heard it on TV, too) Patients lie. Patients fabricate. Patients connect things that shouldn’t be connected. Because they AREN’T doctors.

Please. Get yourself some professional mental health assistance. Go to weekly therapy sessions. Everything you’re writing on here, write it in a journal and bring it with you. Let the professionals help you. If you keep asking them for help and pushing them away saying they’re wrong, that’s like the whole “biting the hand that feeds you” thing. Please. For your own sake and sanity. Try to trust your doctors. And consider not relying on this forum as much, as it seems to be exacerbating what you’re dealing with.

I have avoided responding to this message because it really made me feel terrible and even more alone. I have only been to my PCP and the kidney doctor, not a range of doctors and only went to the kidney dr because my PCP required it due to the blood in my urine and the cysts that we’re found. I’ve only been to my PCP once. The other two times was to re check blood work. But I’ve onky seen my doctor once and that was as a follow up to the kidney issues. Yes, I did go to a walk in clinic to have my lumps checked and I completely trusted her when she said it was in my muscles. I let it go. I actually went and had a massage the other day. And I have zero concerns about my kidneys. I think there may be issues with them, but I’m not worried about kidney cancer.
I’m sorry I’m not able to let the fear of Multiple Myeloma go yet. Each day, either the bone pain gets worse or there’s a new issue. Right now, The bottoms of both of my feet hurt so bad. This has been going on for 3 days now and I’ve even had a massage and rested. I’ve never had this happen before. So excuse me, for being worried.
Yes, I know it can be a million different things. But when you start to tie in the rib pain, the hip pain, and now the calves and feet pain.... it’s hard to not be concerned. My cat also seems to sense something and she consistently lays on the spot on my hip. I’m to the point now that I guess there’s no reason to go to the doctor or to get any advice from there. I figure if this is Multiple Myeloma, there’s no cure anyway. So what’s the point of finding out? Especially when nobody will take you seriously?
I will take your advice and try really hard to not use this forum and to step away. It’s just it was the only place I could put my fears out there in a (what I thought) judgement-free zone. None of my friends or family would understand this, so this was my outlet. I can now see that I was wrong to place my worries on here. Good luck with your journey...

 

[Glassgirlw]

I don’t think he meant it quite how you’ve taken it. I will say that we’ve all been right where you’re at. Symptoms that appear, change, and grow into whatever ailment were worried about until there’s just no other option than us having what we fear the most. Your mind absolutely can fabricate these sensations that you’re feeling.

All that being said, at this point maybe it’s best that you go back to your doc and tell them your current fears. Ask for the full CBC where markers for MM will most definitely show up. My concern is that when you get these results, and they’re negative, you either won’t believe the results or you’ll research and find another disease that you know you have. Because this is the vicious cycle of HA and how it works. I know this because I’ve been down those rabbit holes. Then we come to forums such as this seeking reassurance of anyone else that has had these symptoms, and that helps for a day or so until you develop a new symptom. This circle can only be broken by you. We on this forum can help guide you but the hard work has to be done by you.

I wish you the best and let us know what your doc says after you visit.

 

[Scared1234]

I don’t think he meant it quite how you’ve taken it. I will say that we’ve all been right where you’re at. Symptoms that appear, change, and grow into whatever ailment were worried about until there’s just no other option than us having what we fear the most. Your mind absolutely can fabricate these sensations that you’re feeling.

All that being said, at this point maybe it’s best that you go back to your doc and tell them your current fears. Ask for the full CBC where markers for MM will most definitely show up. My concern is that when you get these results, and they’re negative, you either won’t believe the results or you’ll research and find another disease that you know you have. Because this is the vicious cycle of HA and how it works. I know this because I’ve been down those rabbit holes. Then we come to forums such as this seeking reassurance of anyone else that has had these symptoms, and that helps for a day or so until you develop a new symptom. This circle can only be broken by you. We on this forum can help guide you but the hard work has to be done by you.

I wish you the best and let us know what your doc says after you visit.

I had CBC done at the beginning of January. Another friend of mine who suffers from social anxiety, told me to quit asking the doctor to do blood work because I’ll end up in the psych ward. She meant it as a joke, but I can still imagine it would look bad if I keep asking the dr to re do my blood work. I’m just going to ignore my symptoms and see what happens to me. I will only post on this thread if I have a post to respond to. Other than that, I’m going to refrain from posting about my fears and symptoms.

 

[Glassgirlw]

I had CBC done at the beginning of January. Another friend of mine who suffers from social anxiety, told me to quit asking the doctor to do blood work because I’ll end up in the psych ward. She meant it as a joke, but I can still imagine it would look bad if I keep asking the dr to re do my blood work. I’m just going to ignore my symptoms and see what happens to me. I will only post on this thread if I have a post to respond to. Other than that, I’m going to refrain from posting about my fears and symptoms.

Ok yeah if you had a CBC done a month ago, you can put MM out of your head. I think a break from the forum would be a good idea then! The less you dwell and focus on your symptoms, the quicker they will vanish.

 

[Scared1234]

Ok yeah if you had a CBC done a month ago, you can put MM out of your head. I think a break from the forum would be a good idea then! The less you dwell and focus on your symptoms, the quicker they will vanish.

The funny thing is, I didn’t have ANY of these symptoms back in January when I had blood work done! I’m going to try taking a break but like I said, this is the only place that I thought I could post and be understood. Made it feel a little less lonely! Here we go!!

 

[kammie72]

My meditation coach has me do this body scan think where you’re appreciating your body and what it does for you. I know it sounds homey and if I were 100% cured I wouldn’t be on this site but it does help. Otherwise I’d be crying every day instead of just just stressing a little. I know what it’s like to feel like you can’t tell your family and friends. I was out for margaritas last night and made my friends promise to come to chemo is anything is wrong with me. Just putting bad things in the atmosphere! But also trying not to worry because my dr isn’t worried. Trust your CBC results. What’s the saying that some people wish they had your bad days. That’s sobering to me.

 

[Worriedalways]

Hi! I hope it’s okay to start a new thread. I’d previously posted that I was worried about pancreatic cancer (burning abdominal pain, rib pain, lump in throat, weird stools, etc.). All those pains had been on my left side.
Today, my ride side has been terrible! I’ve had pain in the middle area of my back, pain in the ribs, and pain down to my hip bone. I still occasionally have pains on the left, but today it’s more the right. I’m SO worried and not sure what else this could be.
Does Pancreatic Cancer tend to have symptoms on both the right and left side? I thought normally left side.
I had a dream I posted about a few nights ago. In the dream I have two ladies talking about how to never ignore hip pain and to make the doctor take you seriously. The next day—hip pain began. So I’m worried why everything has moved primarily to the right side.
I can’t get to my chiropractor again for another week due to him being on vacation. Any help on what this could be or if you’ve had the same would be greatly appreciated. Sorry o started a new thread—-I wasn’t sure what the protocol was on that.

I am so glad there is another PC worrier on here. I’m currently stressing over this. I’ve had Bloodwork and an abdominal ultrasound. All came back good. I have left side pain. Back pain and just like you the pain moves to the right side sometimes. Then the hip also. When I have it on my right side I worry that the PC has moved to my liver. My Bloodwork was 1/7/20 so now I start worrying that things were not seen and now have processed. I saw a gastroenterologist last week and set up a colonoscopy. Same dr that did mine 4 years ago. I also have 3 uterine fibroids. I keep wondering if those are causing the pain. I have stomach pain at night and also after I eat. I got on lorazepam to help with the health anxiety. Have you had any test?

The reason I went to the chiropractor is because a few years ago when I had the same pains on my left side, I was told it was reflux, gastritis, and a hiatal hernia. The meds they gave me had terrrible side effects and I didn’t want to be on them anymore. After a month or so of adjustments, my GI issues went away. I thought I’d try the chiropractor again and see if the issues resolved before going to the doctor. Yes, I still worried about those same pains again this time because they are all also symptoms of pancreatic cancer. And I am too familiar with the symptoms as I have had two friends pass away from it and I’m not even 40 yet.
I completely understand that I should go to the doctor and I agree with you. However, I’m too scared to go and receive bad news. I typically run to the doctor at the first sign of something but for some reason, something is holding me back and that scares me too. I guess I’m going to have to go to the doctor eventually though. I was just hoping all these symptoms would go away and then I wouldn’t need to go.
I’m just worried that now maybe it’s a kidney issue since it’s my right side and back area. Or maybe my liver. Or maybe my whole insides has been taken over by cancer. Who knows but I’m very concerned and scared!! It’s the first thing I think about when my eyes open in the morning and then it continues until I go to bed at night. . I’m tired of the worry...

This sounds just like me.

 

[SallyHart]

I have avoided responding to this message because it really made me feel terrible and even more alone. I have only been to my PCP and the kidney doctor, not a range of doctors and only went to the kidney dr because my PCP required it due to the blood in my urine and the cysts that we’re found. I’ve only been to my PCP once. The other two times was to re check blood work. But I’ve onky seen my doctor once and that was as a follow up to the kidney issues. Yes, I did go to a walk in clinic to have my lumps checked and I completely trusted her when she said it was in my muscles. I let it go. I actually went and had a massage the other day. And I have zero concerns about my kidneys. I think there may be issues with them, but I’m not worried about kidney cancer.
I’m sorry I’m not able to let the fear of Multiple Myeloma go yet. Each day, either the bone pain gets worse or there’s a new issue. Right now, The bottoms of both of my feet hurt so bad. This has been going on for 3 days now and I’ve even had a massage and rested. I’ve never had this happen before. So excuse me, for being worried.
Yes, I know it can be a million different things. But when you start to tie in the rib pain, the hip pain, and now the calves and feet pain.... it’s hard to not be concerned. My cat also seems to sense something and she consistently lays on the spot on my hip. I’m to the point now that I guess there’s no reason to go to the doctor or to get any advice from there. I figure if this is Multiple Myeloma, there’s no cure anyway. So what’s the point of finding out? Especially when nobody will take you seriously?
I will take your advice and try really hard to not use this forum and to step away. It’s just it was the only place I could put my fears out there in a (what I thought) judgement-free zone. None of my friends or family would understand this, so this was my outlet. I can now see that I was wrong to place my worries on here. Good luck with your journey...

You can post as many times as you like, we have all, and are where you are with anxiety. Sometimes one thing after another after another. This is my only outlet too and even just reading others stories and the responses helps me so much. Please use us as much as you need to, eventually things do calm down a little. Hugs

 

[Scared1234]

I am so glad there is another PC worrier on here. I’m currently stressing over this. I’ve had Bloodwork and an abdominal ultrasound. All came back good. I have left side pain. Back pain and just like you the pain moves to the right side sometimes. Then the hip also. When I have it on my right side I worry that the PC has moved to my liver. My Bloodwork was 1/7/20 so now I start worrying that things were not seen and now have processed. I saw a gastroenterologist last week and set up a colonoscopy. Same dr that did mine 4 years ago. I also have 3 uterine fibroids. I keep wondering if those are causing the pain. I have stomach pain at night and also after I eat. I got on lorazepam to help with the health anxiety. Have you had any test?

This sounds just like me.

Hi... I was worried about PC cancer because I had two friends who passed away from it in the last few years (and I’m not even 40!!). I knew their symptoms, perhaps a bit too well. I am no longer concerned about PC because I had a CT scan done and my pancreas looked just fine. I’ve moved on to fearing Multiple Myeloma at the moment due to bone pains...
If you had your blood work and abdominal ultrasound done back in january, I’m sure it would have shown a tumor. My friends both had normal blood work, however their scans showed tumors. One had an ultrasound and one had a CT scan. So I’m sure it would have picked up on something.
Mine seems to be related to acid reflux/bile reflux/hiatal hernia. Once I have about 5 adjustments from the chiropractor, it typically settles down. It’s crazy how I got so worried, even though I’d had those symptoms before. But now, it’s Multiple Myeloma and even though I’m on the young side for it, I really have a lot of the symptoms. At the moment, I think I also have plantar fasciitis as I can’t hardly walk on my feet when I first wake up in the AM. This has been happening since Thursday. I’ve never had this before.
Good luck with your colonoscopy. I’d say if the dr was worried about PC, he wouldn’t be ordering a colonoscopy. I know what it’s like to worry and I understand how scary PC can be!

 

[Worriedalways]

Hi... I was worried about PC cancer because I had two friends who passed away from it in the last few years (and I’m not even 40!!). I knew their symptoms, perhaps a bit too well. I am no longer concerned about PC because I had a CT scan done and my pancreas looked just fine. I’ve moved on to fearing Multiple Myeloma at the moment due to bone pains...
If you had your blood work and abdominal ultrasound done back in january, I’m sure it would have shown a tumor. My friends both had normal blood work, however their scans showed tumors. One had an ultrasound and one had a CT scan. So I’m sure it would have picked up on something.
Mine seems to be related to acid reflux/bile reflux/hiatal hernia. Once I have about 5 adjustments from the chiropractor, it typically settles down. It’s crazy how I got so worried, even though I’d had those symptoms before. But now, it’s Multiple Myeloma and even though I’m on the young side for it, I really have a lot of the symptoms. At the moment, I think I also have plantar fasciitis as I can’t hardly walk on my feet when I first wake up in the AM. This has been happening since Thursday. I’ve never had this before.
Good luck with your colonoscopy. I’d say if the dr was worried about PC, he wouldn’t be ordering a colonoscopy. I know what it’s like to worry and I understand how scary PC can be!

I’ve seen a chiropractor in the past also. After getting adjusted I felt like a new person. Couldn’t believe it. Thank you for the response. Can I asked you where the multiple melanoma came from? I mean why did you zone in on that? I do the same thing so I’m curious what took you there.

I have avoided responding to this message because it really made me feel terrible and even more alone. I have only been to my PCP and the kidney doctor, not a range of doctors and only went to the kidney dr because my PCP required it due to the blood in my urine and the cysts that we’re found. I’ve only been to my PCP once. The other two times was to re check blood work. But I’ve onky seen my doctor once and that was as a follow up to the kidney issues. Yes, I did go to a walk in clinic to have my lumps checked and I completely trusted her when she said it was in my muscles. I let it go. I actually went and had a massage the other day. And I have zero concerns about my kidneys. I think there may be issues with them, but I’m not worried about kidney cancer.
I’m sorry I’m not able to let the fear of Multiple Myeloma go yet. Each day, either the bone pain gets worse or there’s a new issue. Right now, The bottoms of both of my feet hurt so bad. This has been going on for 3 days now and I’ve even had a massage and rested. I’ve never had this happen before. So excuse me, for being worried.
Yes, I know it can be a million different things. But when you start to tie in the rib pain, the hip pain, and now the calves and feet pain.... it’s hard to not be concerned. My cat also seems to sense something and she consistently lays on the spot on my hip. I’m to the point now that I guess there’s no reason to go to the doctor or to get any advice from there. I figure if this is Multiple Myeloma, there’s no cure anyway. So what’s the point of finding out? Especially when nobody will take you seriously?
I will take your advice and try really hard to not use this forum and to step away. It’s just it was the only place I could put my fears out there in a (what I thought) judgement-free zone. None of my friends or family would understand this, so this was my outlet. I can now see that I was wrong to place my worries on here. Good luck with your journey...

Don’t leave. We all need to be able to vent here and seek advice from like minded worriers.

 

[Scared1234]

I had a dream about not dismissing hip pain and then the next day...hip pain! So it started there and then one night I happened to be on social media and someone posted an article about hip pain. I clicked on it because it looked like the area where I have been having pain, and it was about MM. I realized I had a lot of symptoms. I had slightly elevated protein in my blood work too. But, when the dr re-did my blood work a few weeks later, the level was fine. My dr told me I was too young to present with typical symptoms of MM. my chiro told me I’d be in excruciating bone pain. I had a CT done before all of these bone symptoms (besides hip) and it didn’t show anything. So now I wait and see if things get worse or what. I’ve thought about asking my chiro for an X-ray of spine and hip riser if anything shows up, but I’m also scared to know! We have a vacation here in a few weeks and I do t want to ruin it for everyone!

 

[Worriedalways]

I had a dream about not dismissing hip pain and then the next day...hip pain! So it started there and then one night I happened to be on social media and someone posted an article about hip pain. I clicked on it because it looked like the area where I have been having pain, and it was about MM. I realized I had a lot of symptoms. I had slightly elevated protein in my blood work too. But, when the dr re-did my blood work a few weeks later, the level was fine. My dr told me I was too young to present with typical symptoms of MM. my chiro told me I’d be in excruciating bone pain. I had a CT done before all of these bone symptoms (besides hip) and it didn’t show anything. So now I wait and see if things get worse or what. I’ve thought about asking my chiro for an X-ray of spine and hip riser if anything shows up, but I’m also scared to know! We have a vacation here in a few weeks and I do t want to ruin it for everyone!

Where are y’all going?

 

[Scared1234]

Where are y’all going?

Flying to the Caribbean for a get-a-way! I’m trying to decide if I try to make it through until then and then ask for another dr appt or if I just ask my chiro to take some xrays for me now, so I know.

 

[kammie72]

So jealous! I hope you can have a great time on your trip free of worry!

 

[kme3n7]

So let me ask you guys, I have recently become concerned with PC. I can't tell if abdominal pains in my left side are actual pains below the muscles or just muscle strains because I am very active. I recently had blood work done which came back normal and my doctor says that I seem healthy to him. The pains have come after I have started running again, so I am not sure if that has anything to do with it. These pains in addition to some floating stools here and there have me concerned. My doctor said that the stools are nothing to worry about as long as they are not white and pale in color (they aren't) and he also said that with my weight being constant and bloodwork being fine that he wasn't worried. I guess my question is how can you tell if pains are muscular related or because of something more and should I try to push for additional testing? I should note that I am a 29 year old male with no family history of the disease.

 

[Scared1234]

So let me ask you guys, I have recently become concerned with PC. I can't tell if abdominal pains in my left side are actual pains below the muscles or just muscle strains because I am very active. I recently had blood work done which came back normal and my doctor says that I seem healthy to him. The pains have come after I have started running again, so I am not sure if that has anything to do with it. These pains in addition to some floating stools here and there have me concerned. My doctor said that the stools are nothing to worry about as long as they are not white and pale in color (they aren't) and he also said that with my weight being constant and bloodwork being fine that he wasn't worried. I guess my question is how can you tell if pains are muscular related or because of something more and should I try to push for additional testing? I should note that I am a 29 year old male with no family history of the disease.

I always struggle with knowing if it’s muscular or not and if it’s on top of my ribs or underneath my ribs. I’d say with your age, you’re probably fine to not worry. Even me, at 39, is considered young. I had imaging done, for something unrelated, and my pancreas looked fine, so I was able to put it out of my mind. Finally.

My two friends were in their early 40’s and early 50’s. One thought she had gallbladder issues and the other thought kidney stones. So you can see, symptoms can vary. The tumors were detected on a CT and an ultrasound.

Sounds like yours could very possibly be related to your muscles and running. Mine (on the left side) seemed to be from hiatal hernia and reflux.

 

[kme3n7]

I always struggle with knowing if it’s muscular or not and if it’s on top of my ribs or underneath my ribs. I’d say with your age, you’re probably fine to not worry. Even me, at 39, is considered young. I had imaging done, for something unrelated, and my pancreas looked fine, so I was able to put it out of my mind. Finally.

My two friends were in their early 40’s and early 50’s. One thought she had gallbladder issues and the other thought kidney stones. So you can see, symptoms can vary. The tumors were detected on a CT and an ultrasound.

Sounds like yours could very possibly be related to your muscles and running. Mine (on the left side) seemed to be from hiatal hernia and reflux.

Gotcha, so my pain is pretty light and increases when I flex my muscles, but even then its nothing really that life altering. If they thought they had kidney stones and gallbladder issues, I would think the pain that they were experiencing was much more intense or not something that could be ignored. I feel like mine is something that when I am sitting down not moving, I do not really notice.

 

[Scared1234]

So jealous! I hope you can have a great time on your trip free of worry!

Thank you! I’m on the fence about asking my chiro if he thinks an X-ray would be a good idea or just waiting until after the trip, if I can. I’m so scared to find out something bad that the unknown almost seems easier. If I knew it was nothing bad, I’d definitely ask for one. But I’m not sure I’m ready.

 

[qwerty4]

Thank you! I’m on the fence about asking my chiro if he thinks an X-ray would be a good idea or just waiting until after the trip, if I can. I’m so scared to find out something bad that the unknown almost seems easier. If I knew it was nothing bad, I’d definitely ask for one. But I’m not sure I’m ready.

If you wait until after the trip, do you think you will be able to (temporarily) put it out of your mind and enjoy the trip? If not, maybe you can ask for the x-ray before you go? I think it would be a shame if you spent the entire holiday worrying (I am speaking from personal experience), and maybe having an x-ray will put your mind to rest.
Whatever you decide, I hope you have a good time in the Carribean!