Hey everyone. I know I really need a professional but idk, i guess it can't hurt to talk about it. Im Kate, 22yo from Indiana.
I've had anxiety issues off and on since I was 15ish, it used to come and go with the seasons. This past year, however, has been the worst ever, and the anxiety/depression is *nonstop*. I feel like Im going absolutely mad and it is so, so hard to cope.
Early 2017 I was given the opportunity to paint a massive mural at the local zoo, a really exciting opportunity for me because that is the kind of work I wanted to build a career out of. I managed to finish it, but for a couple of reasons, it was a horrible, difficult, uncomfortable experience. Art is something I am very gifted in, and I worked hard to reach the level I was at, but that mural killed me. I havent finished a single piece since then. And the loss of my artistic momentum meant a loss of skill, just as an athlete who took a year-long break would lose significant progress.
Now, art, which used to be my primary coping mechanism and my career path (since I was a child), is extremely stressful and difficult. It is not relaxing or satisfying any more. Because of my anxiety issues, I flunked college, so I have few other good work options.
This is my primary issue.
Day to day life is just worry, worry, worry *constantly.* Unless Ive distracted myself, Im afraid of something coming up or just about the far future. Also, I can never be sure I havent forgotten something- my brain just doesnt f****** work. I forget things that no normal person could.
Feels like I have a huge pile of stressors I could mention but this is the gist of it. I honestly don't know what to do. I feel like Im being carried from day to day just hoping my luck is good.
I've had anxiety issues off and on since I was 15ish, it used to come and go with the seasons. This past year, however, has been the worst ever, and the anxiety/depression is *nonstop*. I feel like Im going absolutely mad and it is so, so hard to cope.
Early 2017 I was given the opportunity to paint a massive mural at the local zoo, a really exciting opportunity for me because that is the kind of work I wanted to build a career out of. I managed to finish it, but for a couple of reasons, it was a horrible, difficult, uncomfortable experience. Art is something I am very gifted in, and I worked hard to reach the level I was at, but that mural killed me. I havent finished a single piece since then. And the loss of my artistic momentum meant a loss of skill, just as an athlete who took a year-long break would lose significant progress.
Now, art, which used to be my primary coping mechanism and my career path (since I was a child), is extremely stressful and difficult. It is not relaxing or satisfying any more. Because of my anxiety issues, I flunked college, so I have few other good work options.
This is my primary issue.
Day to day life is just worry, worry, worry *constantly.* Unless Ive distracted myself, Im afraid of something coming up or just about the far future. Also, I can never be sure I havent forgotten something- my brain just doesnt f****** work. I forget things that no normal person could.
Feels like I have a huge pile of stressors I could mention but this is the gist of it. I honestly don't know what to do. I feel like Im being carried from day to day just hoping my luck is good.
