new 18 year old, scared of the future, looking for guidance

[Liv]

Hi y'all! I'm Liv, I'm really 18 (I'm not 27, I used my favorite baseball player, Chris Taylor's birthday just incase anyone near me found me.) I just graduated high school and I'm off to college in August as an incoming Freshman. I guess my anxiety got triggered (?) when I was on vacation in Tokyo in April. Ever since then, I have just been really messed up. I have agoraphobia and a bit of social anxiety. I'm on Zoloft and Propranolol and have been seeing a therapist since 4/23. I was a social butterfly and now I can't even go out to eat in public restaurants, let alone go to crowded events like the movies. My symptoms are the obvious ones such as sweaty palms and a racing heart but I also tend to feel very nauseous. I'm scared for the future. I want my life back where I didn't have to constantly question whether I'll be okay outside of my house. I can't change what happened to me but I can change how much it affects me. I'm looking for anyone to talk to, any advice, or just whatever!

 

[janemariesayed]

Hi y'all! I'm Liv, I'm really 18 (I'm not 27, I used my favorite baseball player, Chris Taylor's birthday just incase anyone near me found me.) I just graduated high school and I'm off to college in August as an incoming Freshman. I guess my anxiety got triggered (?) when I was on vacation in Tokyo in April. Ever since then, I have just been really messed up. I have agoraphobia and a bit of social anxiety. I'm on Zoloft and Propranolol and have been seeing a therapist since 4/23. I was a social butterfly and now I can't even go out to eat in public restaurants, let alone go to crowded events like the movies. My symptoms are the obvious ones such as sweaty palms and a racing heart but I also tend to feel very nauseous. I'm scared for the future. I want my life back where I didn't have to constantly question whether I'll be okay outside of my house. I can't change what happened to me but I can change how much it affects me. I'm looking for anyone to talk to, any advice, or just whatever!

Hiya Liv, really nice to meet you so a very warm welcome to our community here. You have found the right place to come to find excellent support.

I'm sorry that you are suffering. It seems more and more of us across the world are suffering this nowadays. What is it that happened to you in Tokyo that has triggered these feelings?

As you have just entered a change in your life as well, that can also cause quite a bit of anxiety. Starting a new school or premises where you will meet total strangers can be daunting and maybe this is in your subconscious.

Try to embrace the change. See what groups there are to join in your new college that interest you. Join up and you will make friends with similar interests.

Remember that everyone in the first year is in the same boat as you. It's just that no one speaks openly about how they feel deep down.

Do let us know how you get on.

 

[Liv]

Hi Jane! Thank you so much for responding to me

I honestly have no clue what happened because I felt really nauseous in LAX but I was just thinking it was probably a stomach ache and as soon as we got into Tokyo, we went into the crowded subways and it didn't help my case at all. I wasn't sure what was happening and neither did my family. We didn't have a car so we rode the subways everyone and they were PACKED. I dreaded going in them every morning and I think that kind of triggered it. We also went to the Disneyland there and I had to go to their first aid because I was feeling nauseous. Little did I know, that was my symptom for my anxiety. When I come back to the states, I struggled to attend my high school classes because I would panic due to it being crowded. I ended up seeing a therapist, getting onto medication, and basically attending school from home.

I know that I naturally would be afraid of college just as I would be with any new thing but this feels different. It's such an intense feeling. I feel like no one gets it or understands anxiety and it's not like people walk around with big anxiety signs on their foreheads. I'm scared of having to explain to my roommate why I can't go out often due to my anxiety. I'm just scared. I have two months so hopefully it works out better.

I'm so glad I found this forum though. I feel alone because no one really knows what I'm going through because they haven't experienced it. As supportive as my family is, they never understand and I can't blame them. I'm glad I could relate to people on here and it really makes me feel like I have a big support group/alternative family. I'm so thankful.

I'll definitely be sure to update on college and future events!