Need this communities help, again!

[Wyattlove]

I finally took the leap to get bloodwork recently and I’m really proud of myself for going but I’m still having issues. My bloodwork came back normal. I know this should be a cause for celebration but I was really disheartened to find this out. I have been suffering from debilitating fatigue, muscle and joint pain and brain fog for several years now. I contacted my doctor about the results bc I noticed my ferritin was a dismal 12 and have been told that this might be the reason for my symptoms. My doctor shrugged it off and said that wasn’t possible. Then, to make everything a million times worse he said my fatigue is from “thinking too much” Now, I may have anxiety but I have not been ruminating on a regular basis, dealing with depression or anything of that sort. Nor does he hear from me often-I rarely go in. Infact, my doctor hasn’t even asked any questions about mental health. I feel really unseen and invalidate.

I found a supposedly great doctor who is taking new patients but I am so scared to switch. At the heart of my anxiety and staying away from doctors is an issue that developed 10 years ago...I know. While pregnant with my son I had a terrible allergic reaction and afterwards noticed I get a fuzzy feeling when I breathe in while lying on my back. I am like totally terrified that I have lung damage from the meds (that was a rare side effect) and I am too scared to have a doctor check me out. No doubt if I go to a new one they will do the usual lung and heart check. How do I get over this fear?? It feels like a huge barricade in the way of me fully taking charge of my health for years now so instead I have been suffering needlessly. I could really use some guidance.

 

[Sweet T]

It’s important to have a doctor you trust. Perhaps you could share your bloodwork with the new doctor and see what he/she says.
Anxiety and depression are exhausting. So perhaps your current doctor is correct. Are you able to exercise? That might help your energy level. If your iron is low then you could change your diet to include more iron rich foods. Couldn’t hurt to try that.
In the end, it’s important to trust your doctor especially if you have anxiety. Good luck on your journey. You should be proud of yourself.

 

[Jonathan123]

I finally took the leap to get bloodwork recently and I’m really proud of myself for going but I’m still having issues. My bloodwork came back normal. I know this should be a cause for celebration but I was really disheartened to find this out. I have been suffering from debilitating fatigue, muscle and joint pain and brain fog for several years now. I contacted my doctor about the results bc I noticed my ferritin was a dismal 12 and have been told that this might be the reason for my symptoms. My doctor shrugged it off and said that wasn’t possible. Then, to make everything a million times worse he said my fatigue is from “thinking too much” Now, I may have anxiety but I have not been ruminating on a regular basis, dealing with depression or anything of that sort. Nor does he hear from me often-I rarely go in. Infact, my doctor hasn’t even asked any questions about mental health. I feel really unseen and invalidate.

I found a supposedly great doctor who is taking new patients but I am so scared to switch. At the heart of my anxiety and staying away from doctors is an issue that developed 10 years ago...I know. While pregnant with my son I had a terrible allergic reaction and afterwards noticed I get a fuzzy feeling when I breathe in while lying on my back. I am like totally terrified that I have lung damage from the meds (that was a rare side effect) and I am too scared to have a doctor check me out. No doubt if I go to a new one they will do the usual lung and heart check. How do I get over this fear?? It feels like a huge barricade in the way of me fully taking charge of my health for years now so instead I have been suffering needlessly. I could really use some guidance.

When your doctor said it's 'thinking too much' it just goes to show what I have always said. Very few doctors have had any real training in mental issues, especially anxiety. I do agree that HA IS about overthinking. You say it is a huge barricade. That implies you have to 'get over it'. Anxiety is always telling us something about ourselves and by going 'through it' we can learn more rather that turning it into a hurdle race. Fatigue is a classic anxiety symptom, and is it surprising? We use up so much mental energy which soon shows physically. Will changing your doctor help? The answer lies with you not your doctor. You have been told you are physically ok, so accept that as a fact. No second guessing! You may have seen some of us on here advocating books by Dr. Claire Weekes, sadly no longer with us, but her work is her legacy. From Amazon get 'Essential help for your Nerves'. This is a compilation of all her other books. Calm acceptance is still the answer. We so often add fear to fear by adding 'second fear'. When we feel anxious it's all the OMG's and the 'what ifs' that cause the anxiety to go on. We literally frighten ourselves. No one or any 'thing' is doing this to us. We so often make the mistake of being afraid of the symptoms. None of this is easy, but what is in anxiety.
Her methods do work, as many will testify.

 

[Wyattlove]

I

It’s important to have a doctor you trust. Perhaps you could share your bloodwork with the new doctor and see what he/she says.
Anxiety and depression are exhausting. So perhaps your current doctor is correct. Are you able to exercise? That might help your energy level. If your iron is low then you could change your diet to include more iron rich foods. Couldn’t hurt to try that.
In the end, it’s important to trust your doctor especially if you have anxiety. Good luck on your journey. You should be proud of yourself.

I don’t have anxiety on a regular basis but I do get anxious when I’m dealing with a health issue. This fatigue issue has been happening for so long that I know it’s physiological. That’s probably why my doctors “diagnosis” seems pretty invalidating. I hear she’s a good doctor who is friendly and listens well. I hope I can find the courage to go.
Tge

When your doctor said it's 'thinking too much' it just goes to show what I have always said. Very few doctors have had any real training in mental issues, especially anxiety. I do agree that HA IS about overthinking. You say it is a huge barricade. That implies you have to 'get over it'. Anxiety is always telling us something about ourselves and by going 'through it' we can learn more rather that turning it into a hurdle race. Fatigue is a classic anxiety symptom, and is it surprising? We use up so much mental energy which soon shows physically. Will changing your doctor help? The answer lies with you not your doctor. You have been told you are physically ok, so accept that as a fact. No second guessing! You may have seen some of us on here advocating books by Dr. Claire Weekes, sadly no longer with us, but her work is her legacy. From Amazon get 'Essential help for your Nerves'. This is a compilation of all her other books. Calm acceptance is still the answer. We so often add fear to fear by adding 'second fear'. When we feel anxious it's all the OMG's and the 'what ifs' that cause the anxiety to go on. We literally frighten ourselves. No one or any 'thing' is doing this to us. We so often make the mistake of being afraid of the symptoms. None of this is easy, but what is in anxiety.
Her methods do work, as many will testify.

The problem is-I don’t have anxiety on a regular basis any more. I have health anxiety that likes to creep up when I have to visit the doctors but I’m a pretty relaxed person otherwise. I used to have crazy bad anxiety years ago that was VERY exhausting. I know the difference. Maybe it’s a ready assumption that if you post on an anxiety board ppl will assume certain things about you. My main anxiety surrounds going to the doctors. There is definitely something physically wrong with my body and it’s really invalidating to have your doctor suggest, without even seeing you, that it’s all in your head. My doctor knows a lot of my family members have anxiety but it’s unfair to peg all our health issues on anxiety. My fatigue, muscle and joint pain or so bad that I often can’t get off my sofa or bed. This is not the life I want. I have many hobbies that I want to do again. It’s definitely not depression nor is it lack of motivation. Hope that clears it up!

 

[E.B]

I finally took the leap to get bloodwork recently and I’m really proud of myself for going but I’m still having issues. My bloodwork came back normal. I know this should be a cause for celebration but I was really disheartened to find this out. I have been suffering from debilitating fatigue, muscle and joint pain and brain fog for several years now. I contacted my doctor about the results bc I noticed my ferritin was a dismal 12 and have been told that this might be the reason for my symptoms. My doctor shrugged it off and said that wasn’t possible. Then, to make everything a million times worse he said my fatigue is from “thinking too much” Now, I may have anxiety but I have not been ruminating on a regular basis, dealing with depression or anything of that sort. Nor does he hear from me often-I rarely go in. Infact, my doctor hasn’t even asked any questions about mental health. I feel really unseen and invalidate.

I found a supposedly great doctor who is taking new patients but I am so scared to switch. At the heart of my anxiety and staying away from doctors is an issue that developed 10 years ago...I know. While pregnant with my son I had a terrible allergic reaction and afterwards noticed I get a fuzzy feeling when I breathe in while lying on my back. I am like totally terrified that I have lung damage from the meds (that was a rare side effect) and I am too scared to have a doctor check me out. No doubt if I go to a new one they will do the usual lung and heart check. How do I get over this fear?? It feels like a huge barricade in the way of me fully taking charge of my health for years now so instead I have been suffering needlessly. I could really use some guidance.

It's funny how we are different! I commend your courage to get blood work as I'm someone who fears going to the doc.

But I would be ecstatic to get good news like that! You should very much be thrilled at the good news!

None the less I understand you feel like you have not been paid attention too, and you would be the only one to know whether you are being looked at properly or not. Just try to make sure you aren't being irrational.

 

[mollyfin]

Your doctor saying your issues are from "thinking too much" is enough to make me say switch. Yes, fatigue and chronic pain can come into play with anxiety. But they also are caused by LOW IRON LEVELS. IDK about joint pain but when mine was low I got horrible muscle pain when walking, and mine was only mildly low! Blackstrap molasses capsules and ACV capsules seemed to help me some. Also Flintstones vitamins - the one iron supplement that didn't make me sick.

It could well be that your symptoms are caused by anxiety. But iron levels of 10 and under are a certain diagnosis of anemia, and 10-20 means it's likely. My levels were mildly low (I can't remember what exactly but not much under normal) and I felt awful. I had other things going on but once I had my hysterectomy and stopped hemorrhaging monthly the muscle pain when walking disappeared almost immediately. So to say it's impossible is, frankly, crap. Literally one of the main symptoms of anemia is fatigue. It's the first thing they check when assigned female at birth individuals say they're tired! (Well I suppose that and thyroid levels.)

I try not to get too heated because obviously I don't know your doctor, but his refusal to consider that your very low iron levels could be causing your fatigue would definitely make me switch doctors. But if you'd rather not, I suggest taking this concern to your GYN - they deal with a lot of period issues, obviously, which often goes hand in hand with low iron. They might be helpful.

 

[Wyattlove]

It's funny how we are different! I commend your courage to get blood work as I'm someone who fears going to the doc.

But I would be ecstatic to get good news like that! You should very much be thrilled at the good news!

None the less I understand you feel like you have not been paid attention too, and you would be the only one to know whether you are being looked at properly or not. Just try to make sure you aren't being irrational.

Thank you. I appreciate your validation.This is definitely not an anxiety issue-as hard as that may be to say on an anxiety board-but it is anxiety producing to be gaslit by your doctor. Normal bloodwork is wonderful but it also means doctors are often unwilling to listen when you’re still having a really hard time physically. I hope you find the strength to go at some point and receive relief.

Your doctor saying your issues are from "thinking too much" is enough to make me say switch. Yes, fatigue and chronic pain can come into play with anxiety. But they also are caused by LOW IRON LEVELS. IDK about joint pain but when mine was low I got horrible muscle pain when walking, and mine was only mildly low! Blackstrap molasses capsules and ACV capsules seemed to help me some. Also Flintstones vitamins - the one iron supplement that didn't make me sick.

It could well be that your symptoms are caused by anxiety. But iron levels of 10 and under are a certain diagnosis of anemia, and 10-20 means it's likely. My levels were mildly low (I can't remember what exactly but not much under normal) and I felt awful. I had other things going on but once I had my hysterectomy and stopped hemorrhaging monthly the muscle pain when walking disappeared almost immediately. So to say it's impossible is, frankly, crap. Literally one of the main symptoms of anemia is fatigue. It's the first thing they check when assigned female at birth individuals say they're tired! (Well I suppose that and thyroid levels.)

I try not to get too heated because obviously I don't know your doctor, but his refusal to consider that your very low iron levels could be causing your fatigue would definitely make me switch doctors. But if you'd rather not, I suggest taking this concern to your GYN - they deal with a lot of period issues, obviously, which often goes hand in hand with low iron. They might be helpful.

Thank you for your feedback. I’ve read that it’s more than possible to have these symptoms with low ferritin but my doctor says that isn’t possible because my hemoglobin is normal. A reputable scholarly paper I read said it’s called iron deficiency without anemia.

I have had extremely heavy periods every month for the last six years since my third child was born. It seems my symptoms have gradually gotten worse over time and I am very housebound now. It’s like I have a constant energy deficit where if I do too much, I pay for it in the form of fatigue and inability to do things. It’s really awful and very debilitating. In hindsight my ferritin has slowly been tanking for years. It was 31 in 2017, 23 in 2019 and now 12 in 22.

I have a great obgyn so perhaps I can reach out to him and see if he can help me? Being gaslit by my gp has been the real stresser here. At least do a mental health assessment if you’re going to conclude that it’s all in my head. I know firmly that it isn’t.

 

[mollyfin]

I would be hesitant to trust any doctor who says something "isn't possible." At least something that basic. It'd make me feel like they'd made up their minds no matter what I told them. And as you say, if he thinks this is an anxiety issue - which it could be - why isn't he giving you a mental health referral?

Also that's interesting, I had no idea they weren't all under the umbrella of anemia. Regardless though, literally all of it causes fatigue. There's a reason fatigue is such a common complaint - pretty much anything can cause it it seems like, but why not start with the problem you KNOW you have? Also...even if it's not causing symptoms, wouldn't he have an interest in getting your levels back to normal? Hopefully your GYN can give some insight and explain why not, if that's the case. At best your GP doesn't sound too interested in explaining things to you and making sure you know what's going on with your own health.

 

[Wyattlove]

I would be hesitant to trust any doctor who says something "isn't possible." At least something that basic. It'd make me feel like they'd made up their minds no matter what I told them. And as you say, if he thinks this is an anxiety issue - which it could be - why isn't he giving you a mental health referral?

Also that's interesting, I had no idea they weren't all under the umbrella of anemia. Regardless though, literally all of it causes fatigue. There's a reason fatigue is such a common complaint - pretty much anything can cause it it seems like, but why not start with the problem you KNOW you have? Also...even if it's not causing symptoms, wouldn't he have an interest in getting your levels back to normal? Hopefully your GYN can give some insight and explain why not, if that's the case. At best your GP doesn't sound too interested in explaining things to you and making sure you know what's going on with your own health.

My doctor is notoriously dismissive. He does the bare minimum on the odd occasion that I have gone to see him. As someone with doctor anxiety this has been oddly comforting to me in the past but I know it's not healthy. My sister had menstrual issues a few years back and he told her that she was fine. Turns out she had fibroids and hyperplasia. He also missed my dad's prostate cancer after doing an exam. Yes, he's a pretty terrible doctor. I think his ego is so big that he doesn't think he needs to send you to a specialist because he has it all figured out. I know in my heart that my symptoms are not anxiety but it's awfully hard to convince anyone of that when you have normal bloodwork. I have all the symptoms of me/cfs but I don't know how to get diagnosed. Especially when my doctor doesn't even believe I am sick.

You'd think most doctors would want to investigate why my ferritin is so low or at least supplement to try and bring it up. This has been super frustrating. I wish I could get over my fears and see a new GP. The opportunity is available to me so it seems like the right time.

 

[bigjetplane23]

My doctor is notoriously dismissive. He does the bare minimum on the odd occasion that I have gone to see him. As someone with doctor anxiety this has been oddly comforting to me in the past but I know it's not healthy. My sister had menstrual issues a few years back and he told her that she was fine. Turns out she had fibroids and hyperplasia. He also missed my dad's prostate cancer after doing an exam. Yes, he's a pretty terrible doctor. I think his ego is so big that he doesn't think he needs to send you to a specialist because he has it all figured out. I know in my heart that my symptoms are not anxiety but it's awfully hard to convince anyone of that when you have normal bloodwork. I have all the symptoms of me/cfs but I don't know how to get diagnosed. Especially when my doctor doesn't even believe I am sick.

You'd think most doctors would want to investigate why my ferritin is so low or at least supplement to try and bring it up. This has been super frustrating. I wish I could get over my fears and see a new GP. The opportunity is available to me so it seems like the right time.

Why don’t you change docs?

 

[FearSucks]

While it's true that anxiety is about overthinking, referring to it as "thinking too much" reminds me of all the times I would tell people about my disorder and they would hand-wave it by saying "just get over it" or "stop worrying". It feels so dismissive of the true suffering that this disorder can inflict.

 

[Wyattlove]

While it's true that anxiety is about overthinking, referring to it as "thinking too much" reminds me of all the times I would tell people about my disorder and they would hand-wave it by saying "just get over it" or "stop worrying". It feels so dismissive of the true suffering that this disorder can inflict.

absolutely. What’s worse is when you have an actual health issue and your doctor dismisses it as anxiety. This was painful for me. People with health anxiety get sick too. Being written off is so unfair. He didn’t even do a mental health assessment or see me in person. He has me pegged bc a lot of family members see him and they all have anxiety too.

I agree that those who don’t suffer from it are quickest to say “get over it”. Imagine saying the same to someone who has depression?

 

[FearSucks]

absolutely. What’s worse is when you have an actual health issue and your doctor dismissed it as anxiety. This was painful for me. People with health anxiety get sick too. Being written off is so unfair. He didn’t even do a mental health assessment or see me in person. He has me pegged bc a lot of family members see him and they all have anxiety.

I agree that those who don’t suffer from I are quickest to say “get over it”. Imagine saying the same to someone who has depression?

I'll second that (about the doctors who dismiss potential legitimate illness as just "anxiety" because they know you have it.) While anxiety can cause a lot of things, I believe doctors should take the patient seriously and never get in a routine of just casually dismissing everything as anxiety if they know the patient has that disorder.

I've heard similar things being said to people with depression too actually, stuff like: "But you have so much in your life to be happy for!" or "You're just complaining at this point.", the worst seems to be people who try to compare pains because they feel as if the person with depression is looking for pity and/or sympathy when they really just want understanding. People who don't suffer from mental disorders, usually, can't grasp just how much of a pit it can be.

 

[Wyattlove]

This is precisely what my doctor does. Maybe if I were someone constantly running to my doctor I could see him thinking that but when you rarely go and are pegged while dealing with debilitating symptoms..it feels hopeless.

I definitely think you’re right! My MIL suffers from serious depression and even my husband will say things like, “she just has to get out of this rut”. Not possible when it’s chemical. Some people really don’t understand.

 

[blueberries]

Oh my gosh, I am sitting here fuming for you because of how dismissive your doctor is. One of my biggest pet peeves is when they attribute something to anxiety, especially if we aren't particularly anxious to begin with. And shrugging their shoulders with an "I dunno." Depending on where you get your blood tested a level of 10 is in the low end of the normal range or just below the normal range. However, in my experience most doctors would brush this off because it isn't in the critical category. But low is low and that could very well be the cause of your fatigue.

To me it doesn't sound like your doctor is a good fit for you. We all have different needs in the office, some people would be fine with the doctor brushing something off, and some people aren't okay with this. You are looking for a reason for your continuing fatigue and aches and need to get some satisfactory answers. Everything should be ruled out before the anxiety diagnosis is given and even then, just because nothing has been found doesn't mean it's anxiety, it could just mean that that they haven't run that particular test. The fact that he misdiagnosed your sister's issues and missed your father's prostate cancer would be enough to make me switch. Please see a new doctor that you can work with, what do you have to lose?

 

[Wyattlove]

Blueberries, appreciate your advice, thank you. The irony is, prior to his gaslighting I was feeling calm, and mentally strong. His comments infuriated me so much that I’ve been stressed out, anxious on and off, and not sleeping well all week long.

I made the difficult step to make an appointment for a meet and greet with a new doctor. Unfortunately it won’t be until late October but it feels like a step in the right direction. This doctor no longer serves me, and frankly, hasn’t for many years. I want to take charge of my health, even though that’s super scary for me, and work on getting better. Thank you for your support.

 

[FearSucks]

Blueberries, appreciate your advice, thank you. The irony is, prior to his gaslighting I was feeling calm, and mentally strong. His comments infuriated me so much that I’ve been stressed out, anxious on and off, and not sleeping well all week long.

I made the difficult step to make an appointment for a meet and greet with a new doctor. Unfortunately it won’t be until late October but it feels like a step in the right direction. This doctor no longer serves me, and frankly, hasn’t for many years. I want to take charge of my health, even though that’s super scary for me, and work on getting better. Thank you for your support.

Good on you for taking the necessary steps for the potential betterment of your health/life!

 

[Wyattlove]

Good on you for taking the necessary steps for the potential betterment of your health/life!

thank you-it’s the right step even if it’s a scary one!