Need guidance..

[JessicaBarnett]

Hi all,

My boyfriend and I have been living together for the past 2 years. Lately there has been a lot of pressure at work for him. He is seen very restless nowadays. Moreover, he gets irritated for even small matters. Because of this, I am not even able to talk to him. He doesn’t show any interest when I come to talk to him. I discussed this with one of my friends. She said that he might be suffering from anxiety disorder. I was shocked to hear that. Is it right? He is always a kind restless. He always says that he has difficulty in concentrating on his work. I don’t know why all this is happening. Is it due to the current pressure at work that he is behaving like this? It has been almost 6 months since all this started. I am planning to take him for a generalized anxiety disorder treatment in Toronto. What do you think? Is this a right decision? Can anyone please share the symptoms of GAD?

 

[Brightsideup]

It sounds like he is going through something similar to me.
- my fiancé will try to talk to me and I shell up I turn into a stone and she cannot get anthything out of me when we talk about our future finances or some of our more serious conversations. All I conjure up is "yupp" "mhmm" I have issues sleeping also toss turn cannot get a solid sleep in.
I am very irratable over dumb things I never get violent but shirt fuse.
- I do have anxiety but mine are deeper than what you guys seem to be going through. The problem is you cannot force him to go see some one it's something he needs to want to fix. I was the same my fiancé told me I needed help for months before I actually accepted that I need help and go see some one.

 

[janemariesayed]

Hi @JessicaBarnett and welcome to the forum. You have come to the right place for advice. I have found it to be really friendly here and the other members have given me lots of really sound advice already.

What happened to your boyfriend 6 months ago? What was going on then? Think back and see if you can remember something that he may have mentioned that happened that bothered him. At that time! It sounds to me like something is really on his mind that is bothering him. That is what is making him miserable which in turn will make him irritable and angry. Anger or irritability is a symptom of something else. My advice is to find out what that something else is.

Perhaps before taking him to the doctor, sit down with him quietly. Give him a hug first. Be gentle and ask him for a few minutes where you both may find time to have a chat. He will say yes and arrange that moment.

Arranging a moment to talk will mean that you do talk about the subject and that it is not just pushed under the carpet and that it is faced.

When you begin to chat, be gentle with him. Take his hands in yours - this will give him mental support. Then ask him what is up? What happened 6 months ago that has bothered him so much. Tell him you will forgive him anything. And keep to that promise as well.

There is a chance that something has happened to him in his childhood and the symptoms are coming out now, or from 6 months ago. Some people who went through trauma in their childhood can start to have symptoms show up later in life. This is known as CPTSD.

Let him know that you are behind him to support him through this, be kind, be gentle and understanding. Don't bite back at him when he gets moody, be soft and do your best to not let any of it get to you. Remain strong and know that he is not meaning anything to you personally. Stick by him and help him through it. It will be worth it in the long run. It's not like you've just been with him for a few months, you've been together for years and that means something. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

 

[Rinka]

Hi @JessicaBarnett,
Your partner Seems to go though a rough time. As much as you want to shake him and want to make him better, to be really honest with you, it will not help.
He needs to realise himself that he needs help, no one can force anyone to therapy. A forced therapy almost never helps.
What you can do is, being there for him and make him aware that he is being loved no matter what.
There will be a time, when he is able to talk with you about it and that is the time the two of you can talk about therapy.
Until this time comes it is import for him to know that he is not alone.