Need a gold star?

[listener1987]

I guess my gold star for today is actually doing a little bit in this room I have been trying to clear out and make rent ready for ages. I am stymied about what to do with the boxes in there..but I did spend a few minutes in there sorting and took two books out. and packed some things.I think I am going to end up having to be ruthless and donate a lot of things though..and that is anxiety provoking in itself' date=' because I feel the need most of the time to hang on to my possessions whether or not I am actually using them. I am not a hoarder per se, but I do tend to keep more things than I need to.[/quote']Clearing out physical space helps me clear out mental space, somehow! Good job realizing that you have trouble letting go of things. Keep up the good work on that room!

I give myself a gold star for today because I took my shower and did not put my pajamas back on. I got dressed and brushed my teeth. I also did not ask my husband to go to the store before he went to work. As hard as it is I am going to go to the store.

Going to the store can be really difficult when you're feeling anxious and/or depressed. It's not a time when you feel like being around people (even strangers) or making decisions about which brand of refried beans to buy. So kudos to you' date=' for doing it anyway!

Well today i woke up refreshed and in a really light mood. I even hum a justin bieber song while preparing my breakfast. Lol No really, I'm not joking, this is what happened and I'm in awe of myself for a bit and gave myself a pat in the back.

Haha that's hilarious. Has the feeling continued?? I hope so!

/monthly_2016_08/star10.jpg.c10dc12e6be1c12be220bca10ff0f563.jpg

/monthly_2016_08/star11.jpg.83949c877bd5e4abf486275646272350.jpg

/monthly_2016_08/star12.jpg.31da88403458b84fc2d771726d027264.jpg

 

[justsayyes]

Clearing out physical space helps me clear out mental space, somehow! Good job realizing that you have trouble letting go of things. Keep up the good work on that room!





Going to the store can be really difficult when you're feeling anxious and/or depressed. It's not a time when you feel like being around people (even strangers) or making decisions about which brand of refried beans to buy. So kudos to you, for doing it anyway!





Haha that's hilarious. Has the feeling continued?? I hope so!

Unfortunately it didn't last long! :/ But thank you so much for the gold star!

 

[guyy]

wooooo GOLD STAR!! thankyou <3

 

[DDNatureLover]

I love the idea of the gold stars. Some days are more difficult than others. Often, the anxiety and depression accompany a worsening of my physical symptoms from chronic health issues, and it becomes a snowball effect.


No matter, I get up almost every day and cook breakfast after I feed the animals. I accomplished more than expected yesterday, so I am mentally patting myself on the back about that, and I almost completely cut the cable cord the other day, so I'm happy that I'll be saving a little money per month.

 

[janemariesayed]

I am a survivor, I am my own hero because this life has been a total struggle and daily pain. Being born out of an incestuous relationship and sexually abused by my Grandmother, then being put into a children's home and suffering more sexual abuse in the children's home has caused me depression. Once I came out of the children's home and was adopted, my step Father sexually abused me and my step Mother constantly told me what a bad person I was because of the incest. She would hit me and beat me as well as constantly put me down. I was forever covered in bruises from her beatings which she told everyone I got them from the playground. She told everyone I was a liar so no one would believe my complaints. After counselling, I washed my hands of that family and after another 20 years have reunited with my blood family. My blood family is not much better. I have been in touch with them for a year now, and they are bitchy in their comments towards me. They don't answer my telephone calls or bother to make any kind of contact with me. I've miscarried five babies and had two marriages where both my husbands were seeing other women. The result of this life, I don't always brush my teeth, my dogs don't always get to go out for a walk as I can only take them when no one else is up so I have to be up before sunrise. Otherwise, they get an encouraged hours playtime in the garden, again, where no one can see me. I give myself a gold star because I am still alive, I've not killed myself or harmed anyone else.

 

[Aree Wongwanlee]

Today, I finished my fifth day in a row posting to my blog. I used to have a blog many years ago. Then real life events intervened and I went off-line for a while. I had been planning to get back for quite some time already but somehow I kept putting it off. I found all sorts of excuses not to get started again. Finally, I just decided that I am not getting any younger.


So I bought back my old domain name, paid for a web hosting and started blogging again. The first two days, I just blogged off the top of my head. My friends on Facebook were very supportive. Then I decided to go a bit better. There was one other thing which I had never really completed. I was a programmer before and I wanted to polish up my skills again. Same problem. Kept on putting it off. Until three days ago. I decided that I had to force myself to get this done. There's a lot of money-making potential in being a programmer and I had prior experience.


So, I started learning again. I chose HTML and I picked six different sites to learn it online. One site is EdX which offers a course conducted by W3C, the World Wide Web Consortium which develops open source standards for the Web. Each day, for the past three days, I studied online, did my exercises and then wrote about my experiences to post on my blog. This way of studying achieves two purposes. One, it forces me to keep on track because I have already declared publicly that I am taking a course. Two, by blogging about it, I have to think about what I have learned and when I summarized my lesson for the day, it was like taking a test to find out how well I understood what I have learned.


In three days, I have already completed the study material for two weeks in the EdX course. That means I have already completed my HTML basics. Tomorrow I am starting on CSS.

 

[listener1987]

Today' date=' I finished my fifth day in a row posting to my blog. I used to have a blog many years ago. Then real life events intervened and I went off-line for a while. I had been planning to get back for quite some time already but somehow I kept putting it off. I found all sorts of excuses not to get started again. Finally, I just decided that I am not getting any younger.So I bought back my old domain name, paid for a web hosting and started blogging again. The first two days, I just blogged off the top of my head. My friends on Facebook were very supportive. Then I decided to go a bit better. There was one other thing which I had never really completed. I was a programmer before and I wanted to polish up my skills again. Same problem. Kept on putting it off. Until three days ago. I decided that I had to force myself to get this done. There's a lot of money-making potential in being a programmer and I had prior experience.So, I started learning again. I chose HTML and I picked six different sites to learn it online. One site is EdX which offers a course conducted by W3C, the World Wide Web Consortium which develops open source standards for the Web. Each day, for the past three days, I studied online, did my exercises and then wrote about my experiences to post on my blog. This way of studying achieves two purposes. One, it forces me to keep on track because I have already declared publicly that I am taking a course. Two, by blogging about it, I have to think about what I have learned and when I summarized my lesson for the day, it was like taking a test to find out how well I understood what I have learned.In three days, I have already completed the study material for two weeks in the EdX course. That means I have already completed my HTML basics. Tomorrow I am starting on CSS.[/quote'] Aree Wongwanlee, I just started a new blog too! It’s so nice to write for myself instead of ghostwriting for other people on topics I have no interest in!I learned HTML and CSS last year but got stuck at JavaScript. I decided I’m not the web designer type. However, learning those languages really helps me when I want to set up FTP and modify the files on my blog in ways that the Wordpress interface doesn’t.It’s so motivating to blog when you’re good at it. Gives me so much confidence. I wish you well!

I love the idea of the gold stars. Some days are more difficult than others. Often' date=' the anxiety and depression accompany a worsening of my physical symptoms from chronic health issues, and it becomes a snowball effect.No matter, I get up almost every day and cook breakfast after I feed the animals. I accomplished more than expected yesterday, so I am mentally patting myself on the back about that, and I almost completely cut the cable cord the other day, so I'm happy that I'll be saving a little money per month. [/quote']DD, I get the chronic health issues. I have an autoimmune disease and I know how depression and anxiety can accompany that. I’m so sorry you have to deal with that.But I am so amazed that you have established even a small routine. Getting out of bed can be huge sometimes. Cooking breakfast is always huge, because you have to take care of yourself. And taking care of your animals is an act of service and love. Great job being responsible and sacrificing something to save money!!

I am a survivor' date=' I am my own hero because this life has been a total struggle and daily pain. Being born out of an incestuous relationship and sexually abused by my Grandmother, then being put into a children's home and suffering more sexual abuse in the children's home has caused me depression. Once I came out of the children's home and was adopted, my step Father sexually abused me and my step Mother constantly told me what a bad person I was because of the incest. She would hit me and beat me as well as constantly put me down. I was forever covered in bruises from her beatings which she told everyone I got them from the playground. She told everyone I was a liar so no one would believe my complaints. After counselling, I washed my hands of that family and after another 20 years have reunited with my blood family. My blood family is not much better. I have been in touch with them for a year now, and they are bitchy in their comments towards me. They don't answer my telephone calls or bother to make any kind of contact with me. I've miscarried five babies and had two marriages where both my husbands were seeing other women. The result of this life, I don't always brush my teeth, my dogs don't always get to go out for a walk as I can only take them when no one else is up so I have to be up before sunrise. Otherwise, they get an encouraged hours playtime in the garden, again, where no one can see me. I give myself a gold star because I am still alive, I've not killed myself or harmed anyone else.[/quote']Oh my goodness, your story is heartbreaking. The fact that you’re able to talk about it is amazing. Is there anything we can do to help you keep processing through all the unbelievable trauma you’ve experienced? I don’t always brush my teeth either. Sometimes it just feels impossible, right?I feel like this is a dumb thing to say, but I’m just proud of you for living even when it’s hard (and it sounds like it’s hard most of the time.) I hope you find ways to find relief and cope. <3Keep trucking, my friend, and reach out for help here when you need it. We’re here for you.

/monthly_2016_09/57e605ec36004_goldstararee.jpg.e52996a5fa2b159c7c4713b7a9fc3603.jpg

/monthly_2016_09/57e605ec3ba2d_goldstardd.jpg.1d466e7254c01b9d852f20df437ade38.jpg

/monthly_2016_09/57e605ec42609_goldstarjane.jpg.1e413711ffd3fe793fa680db9b031259.jpg

 

[Aree Wongwanlee]

listener1987 , thank you for your moral support. Oh, why did you stop at Javascript? It's just another tool to pick up on your way to greater things. After Javascript, go on to PHP. After that, with the grounding in programming, look into developing mobile apps. That's where the money is. Lots and lots of money. At least, that's how it seems. People who write mobile apps really get a chance at making it big time. I am not sure whether it will be the right ticket for me, but I am going to really find out.


As for writing, I don't think there is such a thing as being a good writer, right from the word go. All writers start off bad. As they write, they get better and better. Like one writer once remarked on another forum, he even took low-paying writing jobs just to keep in practice. Isn't it wonderful to get paid for practicing writing?

 

[listener1987]

listener1987 , thank you for your moral support. Oh, why did you stop at Javascript? It's just another tool to pick up on your way to greater things. After Javascript, go on to PHP. After that, with the grounding in programming, look into developing mobile apps. That's where the money is. Lots and lots of money. At least, that's how it seems. People who write mobile apps really get a chance at making it big time. I am not sure whether it will be the right ticket for me, but I am going to really find out.
As for writing, I don't think there is such a thing as being a good writer, right from the word go. All writers start off bad. As they write, they get better and better. Like one writer once remarked on another forum, he even took low-paying writing jobs just to keep in practice. Isn't it wonderful to get paid for practicing writing?

I simply realized that even though I had the capability to learn, I didn't enjoy coding =) I have an English degree and would rather write.


I took a stint ghostwriting for one company. It was nice to see my stuff published all over the web, but I didn't get to write on topics that interested me; hence the new blog.

 

[Aree Wongwanlee]

I see. Do you have many writing jobs at the moment? A few years back, I was rather active on the writing scene. I started in a rather odd way. I was on a forum and i saw a post looking for writers. It insisted on good writers. The post was not written in very good English. So, just for fun, I asked how the OP was going to decide on who's a good writer and who isn't. The OP pm'd me. I thought he was going to have some harsh words with me. Instead, he offered me the writing job, if, as he put it, "you think you are a good writer". The first contract lasted for about a year. I watched movies about dogs and wrote reviews about them. After that, another contract, from the same person, about haunted castles. Now I am trying to get back into the writing scene.

 

[kelden]

I'll soon move to another country . This is going to change by 180º my lifestyle and I'm willing to embrace it in order to thrive in order to look for far better opportunities out there. I spent almost two years trying to find something worthwhile, but yeah, is not going to change anything and the more time I spend here, the more is dragging me down with its misery.


Sometimes I feel intimidated to explore outside my own comfort bubble, living here in a owned house with my family, with all the commodities available. But besides that, I can't aspire to anything more, to do something different, and It doesn't allow me to pursue my own goals. I don't want to live like this anymore.

 

[listener1987]

I see. Do you have many writing jobs at the moment? A few years back, I was rather active on the writing scene. I started in a rather odd way. I was on a forum and i saw a post looking for writers. It insisted on good writers. The post was not written in very good English. So, just for fun, I asked how the OP was going to decide on who's a good writer and who isn't. The OP pm'd me. I thought he was going to have some harsh words with me. Instead, he offered me the writing job, if, as he put it, "you think you are a good writer". The first contract lasted for about a year. I watched movies about dogs and wrote reviews about them. After that, another contract, from the same person, about haunted castles. Now I am trying to get back into the writing scene.

I work with a company that will give me as many writing jobs as I want. I'm just not really inspired at the moment. If I was tight on cash, I'd be writing up a storm for them! At the moment, however, I want to start my own blog and write about topics that interest me. Send me a PM if you want to apply for the company I write for!

 

[listener1987]

I'll soon move to another country . This is going to change by 180º my lifestyle and I'm willing to embrace it in order to thrive in order to look for far better opportunities out there. I spent almost two years trying to find something worthwhile, but yeah, is not going to change anything and the more time I spend here, the more is dragging me down with its misery.
Sometimes I feel intimidated to explore outside my own comfort bubble, living here in a owned house with my family, with all the commodities available. But besides that, I can't aspire to anything more, to do something different, and It doesn't allow me to pursue my own goals. I don't want to live like this anymore.

kelden, I bet you'd get more responses to this if you post in a different thread, since this is the "gold star" thread! Maybe make a new topic for it?


I'd love to see a journal from you in the "member journals" section!