Need a Cuddle or Suffer Alone?

[Panic57]

When you're in the throws of your deepest depression what do you need most? Do you need a person or a group of supportive people to encourage you or just understand? Or do you need to be alone until the worse passes?


I personally, hate for anyone to see me at my worse. When I was younger, I would lock myself in the bathroom just because it was the only room with a lock. I can't stand for people to see much less touch me when I'm deeply depressed. What about you?

 

[thecorinthian]

We all need people whether's it's something immediate like a hug, someone who listens to our problems or just plain being there we all need support when we're down or depressed. I don't feel the need to be around people when my depression strikes but that's only because I just feel numb. I don't like feeling that way and other people usually bring me out of my rut.

 

[AlysBunny]

If I feel acutely sad or upset. My typical pattern is to wallow in the worst part of the depression for a little while, just let myself do what I really want to do - which is usually to stay in bed and escape into a book or a netflix series or just sleep. In those moments, I like a cuddle or to have a person close to me but I don't like to have to talk about it and I get angry if someone tries to turn the cuddle time sexual. Someone who will hold me close and then read or sleep or watch TV with me silently is great. The person has to be a person I'm really comfortable with and confident that they won't judge. If they can't manage that, I'd rather be alone.


When I'm done indulging myself and I'm ready to talk again, I'd rather have distractions. Don't hold me down with cuddles or cling to me. Let me get moving and do something physically to attempt to get out of my own head. I can do that alone or with someone.


If I feel just generally numb instead of sad/upset, I don't really care either way. Whatever they want is fine.

 

[Sue]

When I am in a deep depression I want to be left alone. I feel numb and I don't want anybody around be or any physical interaction. A hug would be the last thing that I would want. I just need time to myself to feel the way I am feeling. I never want to burden another with my troubles. I don't want to talk to anybody or go anywhere. When I come around then I am okay being around people again.

 

[Houille]

Whenever I feel incredibly depressed or incredibly troubled, I usually keep to myself. I don't like burdening other people with my thoughts... except online, since people don't know me personally then. Unless I really trust the person, any physical contact elicits an incredibly angry reaction from me. The only one who could really calm me down with a hug was my father... - But usually, I just keep to myself... keep quiet and wait until the feelings have passed.


I usually also avoid people since I don't want to say things I don't really mean...

 

[Roscas]

My private thoughts and feelings are very personal and intimate to me. When I feel deeply sad or in my lowest low I tend to take solace with my writing. But that is not always the case. It also depends on what I am mulling about, what the cause of the melancholy is or triggers of that sense of feeling down. Such intimate moorings can be shared with my best friend through Skype or email. It could be with one of the children and we would talk.


But never with a crowd or people outside my own family. I used to discuss things with one or two of my siblings but I have long forgone that because they are to geographically far away for too long (decades). It would not help for me to worry them, they would not grasp the whole of what I want to impart and that would make them worry more.


I choose who I allow to get to know who I am. Even at work, they almost know nothing of my personal life. Work is temporal and transitory and I no longer have the energy to invest in establishing bonds I know will merely be uprooted and severed, not by intention but by circumstance.


The one true person I can rely on in my moments of vulnerability and nakedness is myself. So, I take solitude with my own presence and the tool I use is to write to me.

 

[BeeDrill22]

Both, I guess...When i'm depressed I need to be alone, being with other people at in that situation would only make irritated and i'd probably end up bothering them in some way. But after I had some alone time to meditate and get over myself I usually recognize that the healthy thing would be to seek some type of social interaction to try and kickstart my life back into the normal flow of things, and in those times there is nothing like a loved one telling you that things are going to be okay once again.


Of course i'm oversimplifying things, each part of that process usually takes days, but as I said, I'd usually need a little bit of both.

 

[EntropiaAddict]

When I am deep in depression, I just want to be left alone to play video games, read a book, or watch something on televsion. My spouse and kids can tell because I get unusually "snappy" with them. They have learned over the years to let me be in these times and are ready for me once I start to come out of my depression. Honestly, in general, people outside of my immediate family tend to bother me, even when not depressed. Once I wallow in my own depression for however long it takes to get out of it (a couple hours to a couple days usually), my spouse and kids are there to help me continue out of the depression and to get on with life. I guess that means that I fall into needing both also. During the worst of it, I need to be left alone, but once I start to come out of it, I need the push, love, and understanding of my family to help me get back to what qualifies as normal behavior for me.

 

[aimeepoo]

I cry a whole lot and normally want my husband to hold me and hug me. He never can think of anything to say to me but he usually eases the discomfort some. If he is not home then I cuddle with my dog. He is a sweetie and really seems to know when I feel bad.

 

[Pijuy]

Depression makes me want to be alone. Being around other people drains me even more because I haven't found a person with my life that will not to some extent judge me or that will not try to help me in some way when I'm at my worse. Then I feel responsible for that and even worse.

 

[solana]

I like to withdraw into my inner world when I feel down. Deep in there I know how to comfort myself. I often even visualize embracing myself, forgiving myself for being so hard and unforgiving to myself. I those darker times, I like to dwell on old emotional injuries, on all the times when I felt sad and mistreated. I stew over those things for hours, days, sometimes weeks. I analyze and examine them from every angle, as I want to find a way to get rid of these burdens that I am holding on to. I don't like discussing my private issues with others. Instead I seek the company of happy and well-balanced people who don't weigh me down any further with their concerns for me. I like the kind of folks who babble away cheerfully about their latest achievements or discoveries. People who exude a feeling of being alive, and the importance of cherishing every moment.

 

[hades_leae]

I would love to have someone to cuddle, but for me that's not an option that I have right now, nor did I have in the past when I wanted it most. Because of that, I told myself not to ever rely on anyone else's comfort because if I did then how much pain will I have when I'm alone and not able to cope with whatever I'm dealing with.


It's good to have someone to comfort you, but you still need to be able to handle yourself mentally.

 

[2deidara7]

I also prefer to be alone when I am depressed. I don't know if it's better to cuddle with someone or if it will help ease the depression better to be with someone because I am used to being on my own. I avoid imposing on someone, whether they are family or friends. Sometimes, I think that it may be better if I discuss it with someone or let people inside my personal space during those times, but my vulnerable self just wouldn't let me. I don't know, maybe it really depends on the person.

 

[John Snort]

I think depression is best dealt with when you know that there is someone you can count to be by your side when you need them. It could be a relative, a friend, your SO or a friend on the net who will at the very least let you know that everything will be alright. For me when I feel depressed I always prefer to be left alone. Depending on how bad it is, I could go for a long walk. It helps.