Narcissism and borderline personality disorders

[kgord]

Yes, typically relationships with these types of people only exist as long as they see you as being a benefit to them. God forbid, you should have needs of your own. They also sometimes get bored and cut relationships off when they don't find that kind of inner excitement. Borderlines are a different story, they usually stay attached as long as you let them. They have such needs for attention though, that they will often drive their partners away. It is a tough row to hoe, to be in partnership with either of these types.

 

[HappyKoi]

I was married to someone who was narcissistic, and one of my parents had Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Like other people have said, we all show those traits at one time or another, but some have more, and some people are more extreme in their behavior. I had to go to an emergency domestic violence shelter, get the police involved, and move across the country. I cut off all contact with my ex-husband, and I'm still reprogramming myself from the things he said and did to me, and the things that I experienced as a kid with my mother. It's an investment of self-care, time, support from others, and, personally, my faith has helped me a lot.


It would indeed be a good idea for you to get out and socialize. I think it would help your self-concept and self-esteem, and make you a little stronger in case another person like that comes your way. Fantasy worlds are nice, and Facebook is a good resource, but it's also nice to get out and do things. Use Facebook to look for events in your area, or check Meetup for things you're interested in. See if some of your Facebook friends want to hang out sometime. It will do you a lot of good.

 

[Fae]

Narcissism is something where the sufferer can either be aware of how they are or unaware. Those that are aware may not warn you outright about where their behavior may go, but they do leave enough hints to sense that something about them needs mental flagging. They also come off as prideful in general to me, which I find personally off-putting.


The ones who are oblivious are scarier to me. As a kid, I had a friend like that and it was impossible to know just how to get away, even though I eventually figured out that getting away was best for my sanity and happiness. She simply assumed that I would do things for her, obey her, and laid in an emotional guilt trip when I tried to strike off on my own. I managed to stop allowing myself to be a victim, but there was no flag to show that I'd be a victim by being her friend and the onset of victimhood was slow. The frog in the slowly heating pot didn't know it was getting cooked! I did get out by evading the lie that I "needed" her friendship, which was painful even when she turned other friends against me.

 

[janemariesayed]

Both of my mothers are narcissistic. I've only realised it recently but it wasn't a word that I had come across often so I wasn't sure of the explained in depth meaning. Now I realise that my adopted mother and my bio mothers are narcissistic.