Matticus1983
Active Member
- Joined
- May 30, 2020
- Messages
- 262
- Reaction score
- 131
A Huge portion and reason to my anxiety comes from directly and indirectly from work. About ten years ago I went to work for a man that almost everyone in my town knows, "is the guy you don't wanna work for. He's a jerk on just about every level. I worked for him about 4 years the first time around and had enough and quit. Coworkers have a high level of stress as well we without being treated for anxiety if that says anything. Got belittled the last time. I was 27 at that point. Ive worked so many dead end jobs since then. A year ago I decided to ask for my old job back which was a very bad decision on my part. I'm still underappreciated, paid minimally even though I have experience. And have to be on constant guard of screwing up. It keeps me on a high level of anxiety all day, I'm just ready to come home and sleep and hide away from the world. There is absolutely not one positive side to this job, I've had a dollar raise in an entire year, while he's fired numerous people. Very greedy scrooge type of person. This same guy took my Christmas bonus away the first time around I worked for him because I quit a week before. I'm sick of it, there is no moral, there's no joy to be found there. It's physically exhausting, And pays minimally. I make 15$ an hour handling glass and aluminum all day installing, sometimes 60ft in the air, I'm very good at my job but this guy is a miser and you don't ask for a raise. The other two guys kiss his arse and make about 26.00$ an hour. I can't do that and am not gonna do that. My anxiety is worse once I get to work and continues throughout the day. My coworkers are older and extremely negative! I can't relax nor do I have a minute to breathe or relax. It's high octane all day. I started in June of 2019 and my anxiety had been terrible since and keeps getting worse. Because we have to live I can't leave my job, my wife would probably leave me and things would fall apart. If I could just have the chance to relax throughout my day my days would be better. But I continue this cycle. Job after job. Leaving for this or that. I want to be strong but I cave and try to find the "perfect" job that fits my issues. But it always goes all to hell. My anxiety is my job on many levels. Just trying to keep it under wraps. I'm left with little energy and go to bed everyday at. 800 o'clock. I'm sick of this cycle.
