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MS very scared, need help

Amw311

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Hi guys,
I’ve been posting on here a good bit because I’m clearly not in a good headspace with my anxiety. I am so terrified and convinced that I have MS. I’ve had a weak feeling in my right leg/sometimes it feels tingly as well, just an odd sensation overall. Lower leg and foot. When I see MS symptoms online, i don’t read anything else because the only part I see is *LOWER LEG PAIN OR TINGLING/NUMB SENSATION* and my heart sinks each time. I can’t find any other explanation for this odd feeling. I have twin toddlers who I carry often so I feel back pain a good bit, someone mentioned that it could be related to my back somehow. But I’m so convinced it’s more neurological. I’m so scared. And then I remember my friend’s mom who has it, and I know that one of her first symptoms was something odd going on with her leg or foot or something along those lines. I thought I had MS a couple years back and got tested for everything in the books and was fine but this time feels so real. Anyone else have a similar scare?
 

matisworried

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i had a year-long ms scare that stemmed from an abnormality that was discovered during an mri that was ordered to look for the cause of some hearing loss I'd suffered. prior to that moment, i knew nothing about MS as my HA concerns were almost exclusively cancer or heart-related. once the abnormality was discovered and i took to Google, oh man, did the symptoms come out of the woodwork. balance issues, pins and needles, tingling, muscle spasms, you name it. i saw a neurologist who assured me it was nothing but suggested a repeat mri in a year to make sure there were no new abnormalities (hence the year-long scare.) the more i researched, the worse my anxiety got. also, the worse my symptoms got. then my follow-up mri happened and it showed nothing new so i didn't have MS. it took awhile to come to grips with NOT being sick but once i did the symptoms started vanishing. you said you were tested a few years ago and everything was fine. that's a great sign. i think the odds of you actually having the disease you were previously freaked out about is pretty unlikely. especially with a disease that really isn't that common.

i also have tons of back/sciatic issues. sciatic pain could cause the pain or sensations you're experiencing. when mine is acting up, i can feel it all the way down my leg.

please try to resist "researching" symptoms online. it will only make your anxiety worse. google is a terrible doctor anyway.
 
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Amw311

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i had a year-long ms scare the stemmed from an abnormality that was discovered during an mri that was ordered to look for the cause of some hearing loss I'd suffered. prior to that moment, i knew nothing about MS and my HA concerns were almost exclusively cancer or heart-related. once the abnormality was discovered and i took to Google, oh man, did the symptoms come out of the woodwork. balance issues, pins and needles, tingling, muscle spasms, you name it. i saw a neurologist who assured me it was nothing but suggested a repeat mri in a year to make sure there were no new abnormalities (hence the year-long scare.) the more i researched, the worse my anxiety got. also, the worse my symptoms got. then my follow-up mri happened and it showed nothing new so i didn't have MS. it took awhile to come to grips with NOT being sick but once i did the symptoms started vanishing. you said you were tested a few years ago and everything was fine. that's a great sign. i think the odds of you actually having the disease you were previously freaked out about is pretty unlikely. especially with a disease that really isn't that common.

i also have tons of back/sciatic issues. sciatic pain could cause the pain or sensations you're experiencing. when mine is acting up, i can feel it all the way down my leg.

please try to resist "researching" symptoms online. it will only make your anxiety worse. google is a terrible doctor anyway.
Well, a few years back when I thought I had it, I should clarify, I went to my doctor with my symptoms and told him I thought I had MS. He assured me that wasn’t how it presented itself and eventually those ailments went away. He took a bunch of blood tests to ease my mind as I was worried about several things at the time. This was probably 3.5 years ago. I never had a brain scan. I’m just scared that it was always MS and now the symptoms are “back” and feel different. I’m just wondering if I had a brain scan back then maybe they would’ve seen something. I’m just so terrified. I’m a 27 year old female and it’s more common in females. I just can’t seem to calm down. I’m living life as if I already have it and have been diagnosed
 

Amw311

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i had a year-long ms scare the stemmed from an abnormality that was discovered during an mri that was ordered to look for the cause of some hearing loss I'd suffered. prior to that moment, i knew nothing about MS and my HA concerns were almost exclusively cancer or heart-related. once the abnormality was discovered and i took to Google, oh man, did the symptoms come out of the woodwork. balance issues, pins and needles, tingling, muscle spasms, you name it. i saw a neurologist who assured me it was nothing but suggested a repeat mri in a year to make sure there were no new abnormalities (hence the year-long scare.) the more i researched, the worse my anxiety got. also, the worse my symptoms got. then my follow-up mri happened and it showed nothing new so i didn't have MS. it took awhile to come to grips with NOT being sick but once i did the symptoms started vanishing. you said you were tested a few years ago and everything was fine. that's a great sign. i think the odds of you actually having the disease you were previously freaked out about is pretty unlikely. especially with a disease that really isn't that common.

i also have tons of back/sciatic issues. sciatic pain could cause the pain or sensations you're experiencing. when mine is acting up, i can feel it all the way down my leg.

please try to resist "researching" symptoms online. it will only make your anxiety worse. google is a terrible doctor anyway.

Also I thought that back and sciatica issues caused pain in the back of the legs, it’s the front for me
 

matisworried

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Well, a few years back when I thought I had it, I should clarify, I went to my doctor with my symptoms and told him I thought I had MS. He assured me that wasn’t how it presented itself and eventually those ailments went away. He took a bunch of blood tests to ease my mind as I was worried about several things at the time. This was probably 3.5 years ago. I never had a brain scan. I’m just scared that it was always MS and now the symptoms are “back” and feel different. I’m just wondering if I had a brain scan back then maybe they would’ve seen something. I’m just so terrified. I’m a 27 year old female and it’s more common in females. I just can’t seem to calm down. I’m living life as if I already have it and have been diagnosed
before the symptoms appear, do you feel like your stress level was higher than usual? i feel like, at this point in my HA, i can almost "will" symptoms on... like... i can intentionally think about it and soon after, the sensations will appear. when i'm in the midsts of anxiety, it happens without me consciously even thinking about it... because in the back of my brain, i know the symptoms of so many diseases. i wish there was a way to un-know all of that stuff because i know what every little ache and pain COULD be due to what is probably hundreds of hours of internet research over the years.

Also I thought that back and sciatica issues caused pain in the back of the legs, it’s the front for me
for me it's down my side and can curve to the front a bit. there are other things like pinched nerves that can cause the problems you're having. also much more likely than MS, which is a rare disease.
 

Amw311

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before the symptoms appear, do you feel like your stress level was higher than usual? i feel like, at this point in my HA, i can almost "will" symptoms on... like... i can intentionally think about it and soon after, the sensations will appear. when i'm in the midsts of anxiety, it happens without me consciously even thinking about it... because in the back of my brain, i know the symptoms of so many diseases. i wish there was a way to un-know all of that stuff because i know what every little ache and pain COULD be due to what is probably hundreds of hours of internet research over the years.



for me it's down my side and can curve to the front a bit. there are other things like pinched nerves that can cause the problems you're having. also much more likely than MS, which is a rare disease.
I can definitely agree with wishing I could “un-know” these symptoms. An example, my brother (who has no health anxiety at all) actually had a very legitimate scare. He woke up one morning and couldn’t see anything out of one eye, went to the ER and had “optic neuritis” which is very often the first symptom of MS. He underwent several scans and tests and got the clear but the during his hospital stay I was panicking for him...reading anything and everything I could about MS. So I definitely know a lot. When I first had the pain in my lower leg, I noticed it felt every so slightly “tingly” along with the pain. Once I remembered the MS signs, I was sure this was it. I still am. This morning I suffered a panic attack from it all. I can’t shake it and I can’t tell what’s real and what’s my anxiety. I hate it. I have kids to take care of and I can’t even give them my attention because I’m so terrified and in a fog of fear constantly. I am still slightly shaking, I feel paralyzed with fear. I have already given myself this diagnosis.
 

matisworried

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I can definitely agree with wishing I could “un-know” these symptoms. An example, my brother (who has no health anxiety at all) actually had a very legitimate scare. He woke up one morning and couldn’t see anything out of one eye, went to the ER and had “optic neuritis” which is very often the first symptom of MS. He underwent several scans and tests and got the clear but the during his hospital stay I was panicking for him...reading anything and everything I could about MS. So I definitely know a lot. When I first had the pain in my lower leg, I noticed it felt every so slightly “tingly” along with the pain. Once I remembered the MS signs, I was sure this was it. I still am. This morning I suffered a panic attack from it all. I can’t shake it and I can’t tell what’s real and what’s my anxiety. I hate it. I have kids to take care of and I can’t even give them my attention because I’m so terrified and in a fog of fear constantly. I am still slightly shaking, I feel paralyzed with fear. I have already given myself this diagnosis.
that sounds very scary. did you have HA prior to the incident with your brother? regardless, it's no surprise that your concern is MS-related. i can only imagine the amount of research you've done. a few things to try and keep in mind when your mind starts to race with worry: first, things like muscle spasms, tingling, etc. happen to perfectly healthy, normal people for hundreds of minor reasons... sometimes no reason at all. the difference between them and us is that they're not predisposed to anxiety, don't worry about their health and can easily brush things like that off. literally not even giving stuff like that a second thought. this leads me to the second thing you should to keep in mind... us people with HA are hyper-focused on the sensations that happen in our body. we're taking normal or minor sensations and magnifying them 100% which only increases the pain AND the panic. lastly, the mind can and does create physical symptoms and can create the symptoms you're experiencing.

do these symptoms bother you 24/7? only when you're sitting around? when you're being active? are they worse when you're thinking about them?

please try to take a few deep breaths. i know exactly how you feel, down to having children you need to take care of in the middle of a bad episode. it sucks... like... it really friggin' sucks... but it's just your anxiety screwing with you. remember that worry does no good. it will not change the outcome one way or the other so it's, essentially, a huge waste of time. have you ever tried therapy? if not, i highly suggest it! you can learn a lot of amazing techniques to cope with what you're experiencing.
 

Amw311

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Thank you for your thoughtful responses, it means a lot to me. Also, you asked if the episode with my brother was the start to my health anxiety, and the answer is absolutely not! I have had severe health anxiety since I was about 10 years old. I’ll never forget sitting in the car with mom while radio commercials about children with leukemia came on and I suddenly burst into tears, telling my mom I probably had that, too. I have been deathly afraid of several different cancers, and have taken many trips to the ER in my life. It’s become a part of my identity unfortunately. In fact, when the incident with my brother occurred, my family members were hesitant to even explain in full detail to me what exactly what was happening, with fear that it would send me into another spiral. Thing is, it didn’t right away. This was a couple months back. But as soon as I felt a remotely similar sensation to what I read about MS, I convinced myself in that moment it was my fate. I have been to therapy, I went for the better part of last year and while it did help, I didn’t connect with my therapist and am currently looking into seeing another one.
Also, it’s probably worth noting, the other day my mom and a few family members Came over and I was busy with them for most of the day. I felt no pain or strange sensations. That night when they left, boom, panic set in. My husband is currently out of town for work for the first time since our twins were born (and they’re almost 2!) and this is also affecting me very negatively. I am a needy person, I will admit it. It’s possible that many factors are at play here. But MS is the only conclusion I kept coming back to :(
 
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