More anxious around people of my age-group?

[babyleans]

Hi guys. I've noticed that i feel more anxious around people my age. I feel extremely insecure whenever i run into a person around my age. I usually feel like they look better than me or are dressed better than me and i just become very anxious. Has anybody else experienced this?

 

[HappyKoi]

It's easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to other people in your age group.  Did you ever feel that you weren't as good as other people at school, perhaps, or did you feel they were negatively judging you?  Having been bullied by your peers might also contribute to feeling like this.
Sometimes I feel that I'm not as successful as other people my age.  I feel like I haven't hit certain milestones or done society expects for someone my age.  There is also a lot of pressure to keep looking "young" as you get older, which, in my own opinion, is silly.  Still, it's there, and it can certainly be uncomfortable.

 

[Panic57]

I usually get along better with people either younger or older than me.  Most people my age think I'm boring because I'm so focused on work and don't go out and party.  With older people, they can just go some place quiet to talk deeply about life.  People younger than me just find me mature and assume that's normal.  Plus, I tend to get ignored by my peers since I come across old school and a bit formal with strangers.  Until I'm comfortable with someone I tend to be more cautious because you never know who they might be in the future. 

 

[John Snort]

@babyleans, feelings of insecurity can be vanquished. If we keep using others to gauge our relative worth to that of others we always be dissatisfied. Fact is there'll always be someone who is better dressed or even better looking somewhere out there in the world but that shouldn't in any way make us feel inferior. Don't be too hard on yourself. Think of your friends, your family and everyone that loves you. You are important to them. These are the people who matter (and they accept you as you are unconditionally). Everyone else . . . pay no heed to them.

 

[Choochoo]

I know this feeling, but I cope with it by just letting it go a pond not caring as much about comparing statuses because I know if I keep doing that I'll just end up in a bad place. I temper it with a bit of honesty too though by acknowledging that I am a bit jealous and just think to myself that I can achieve it if I want to and put in the effort. 

 

[babyleans]

Thank you for your replies. I have always been a loner and i think that contributes to it. I was bullied in high school but i was bullied by a senior student, not one of my peers. The thing is, i don't do well when competition is involved. I just cant keep up with my peers. I prefer to do my own thing.

 

[sidney]

I think that's common when you're just in your teens or tweens, but as soon as you get older you will eventually be secure and develop confidence in yourself. I remember slightly being self-conscious too, but mostly because I didn't have what I wanted to have like gaming consoles and a larger allowance when I was a kid. For me it was not so much towards looks but towards my financial status, since I had some rich friends back then.

 

[fuzyon]

Yes, it's due to the fact that you're not confident enough and view yourself inferior compared to your peers. It's a thing I felt too when I was a teenager, I didn't care about myself at all and my lack of self-esteem was obvious. 


I started working out and spent some money to get nicer clothes and things improved dramatically. Even if you go for a jog in the morning it will feel refreshing and it's a step in the right direction.

 

[amy88]

I definitely find being around those in my age group tends to be more anxiety provoking - the best explanation for me that I can provide is that I think it's to do with the bullying I faced in my school years. It's always made me think that people of my age group are passing judgement in my direction and I think that's automatically made me anxious and defensive as a result. That's the best analysis of myself that I can give though!

 

[hades_leae]

When I was a teenager I worried a lot about what people would think about me when they saw me so I made sure my clothes looked really nice, smelled good, and much more that I don't do now. I'll go out in random clothes, but still make sure I'm matching in some way, I don't want to be tacky. 


It's okay to wonder what others will think of you but I don't think you should take it to the head because people are going to be people. 

 

[misszerable]

I think it's quite normal to be anxious with people of your own age as peer pressure is fairly common specially if you're in your teenage years or even way into college. It will wear off as you mature and take on new challenges like a new job or a new relationship. I've experienced peer pressure in my teenage years, too, but I never let it stop me from being me or from pursuing my interests.

 

[Aree Wongwanlee]

I don't have any problems with people of my age. I am past 60 already so it's quite nice to meet people of my age who are still healthy and able to get up and go out. We do have quite a lot to share, too. We would talk about our children and our grandchildren. We don't talk too much about women, though. Maybe it's not that important anymore at our age.

 

[x0xLikeMex0x]

I've stopped guessing how old people are, so I don't really get anxious around people who seem to be my age. BUT I can't help put feel the need to hide when I see my old classmates. Yeah, we grew up together, but I don't want to know what they are doing these days and vice-versa. I don't want to know which one of us is doing better. When I notice an old classmate of mine in a public space, I always hope they don't notice me. 

 

[amy88]

@x0xLikeMex0xI definitely feel the same about old classmates - I've moved away from my hometown where I grew up, so I only really worry about running into someone when I'm back home visiting. But it is always nerve wracking with the prospect of seeing someone you really don't want to have to engage in conversation with.

 

[x0xLikeMex0x]

@x0xLikeMex0xI definitely feel the same about old classmates - I've moved away from my hometown where I grew up, so I only really worry about running into someone when I'm back home visiting. But it is always nerve wracking with the prospect of seeing someone you really don't want to have to engage in conversation with.

I might have made my situation worse when I deleted most of them off of Facebook few months after graduation. There was this site where you could create an account and people could ask anonymous questions. And one of my classmates asked me why I'd deleted them and suspected that I thought I was better than them. A bit later I kind of figured out who it was.

 

[amy88]

@x0xLikeMex0xI did the same with a lot of people I had on there from school...I figured we weren't really "friends" and all they really wanted to do was snoop into my life using Facebook! But some people get really offended if they find out you deleted them...it's crazy!

 

[NiMil]

Yeah, I know what you mean.


I guess you feel that young people are more judgmental. I mean, at least in my age which is mid-twenties, I feel as though you have to always be perfect from head to toe, and always have something witty and cool to say. And be obnoxious and fairly loud. Quiet and withdrawn doesn't fly. Also, not taking initiative and not talking **** is considered not good. People don't respect you.


Older people you can do all that and get away with more.


That's just my impression.

 

[mauricioq]

Not for me, in my case I get more anxious when I'm with older people because I have the feeling they think I'm stupid or the things I'm saying are stupid. I can realate way more to people my age, i think they can understand me better.