Marriage problems?

[HoldingOnHope]

Those of you who are married...how has anxiety effected your marriage? I feel like I completely draw away from my husband and make him out to be the bad guy. He says he’s dealt with anxiety so he knows how I feel when I’m extra anxious but then he’ll make a joke about me being “crazy” or whatever thinking it’s funny but it’s NOT. And then it just makes me resent him. I don’t feel like he is someone I can come to and spill my guts out to and be in a safe place. I don’t feel comfortable doing that with him.
I feel horrible about this, I feel like I’m ruining my marriage.

 

[bin_tenn]

I'm sorry you're struggling, and that you feel like it's putting a strain on your marriage. I'm not married yet, but might as well be. She understands to an extent, but she can't understand just how intense it is for me at times. She does try to help, but oftentimes her advice or attempts to help only frustrate me, because I can't "just calm down and try not to think about it."

This is actually a very common problem, and it's been talked about on this forum many times. Of course there's no real "answer" other than just trying to make things work with your significant other. They certainly have an obligation, of sorts, to be supportive, but we also have to understand that they may not truly understand. So they mean well, but sometimes it doesn't feel that way. That's not always their fault, they simply can't understand the gravity of the situation.

Sorry I don't have much else to add here, but that's my high level take on it.

 

[Sid]

I actually have the same problem with my wife. It's hard to talk to them about them. My wife isn't the total cause of my anxiety but she does seem to be the trigger of a lot of it. Talking to anybody that isn't them seems to help.

 

[Sweet T]

I don’t share much with my husband. He just wants to me to get well - now. And blames my anxiety for everything. He gets really angry and that just puts me off even more. I find myself tip toeing around conversations that I know we should have because I fear his getting angry. Plus nothing gets resolved anyway. It’s the worst it’s even been.