Mammogram and ultrasound - convinced it’s cancer

mollyfin · Sep 23, 2021

I know that feeling! It's so hard when either option feels bad. Did they give you any idea of when to expect results?

ThankfulJen · Sep 23, 2021

SB2017 said:
Thank you! The mornings are the worst. I wake up ok and then I remember and I feel like I’m going to throw up. Part of me wants to just hear the results already and part of me wants to hold onto the moments where I don’t know anything.

Oh hon. I know how you feel. I just had a scenario play through my HD of them calling and giving me bad news. Started panicking. This is so scary. I'm here with you.

ThankfulJen · Sep 23, 2021

SB2017 said:
That’s what I’ve been doing! I can literally hear my doctors voice saying to me “I’m sorry but it came back as malignant”. I can’t get it out of my head!
I also got my period 7 days early today. I always get it between 3-5 days early but now I’m convincing myself it’s because the cancer spread down there!

Same with me. And my period was so light it was just spotting and I never have that light of a period. I'm convinced it's just another sign of the cancer

AriaRen · Sep 23, 2021

Your period is incredibly easily affected by stress, please don't panic about that

I went 3 months without one at the height of my anxiety, also had random spotting at times too, I was convinced it was a sign of something horrible, but as soon as I started getting better mentally they returned back to normal x

mollyfin · Sep 24, 2021

I don't think breast cancer would metastasize to an area that affects your period. Most likely it's stress, or just one of those things.

Doug97 · Sep 24, 2021

Even if it's malignant, your lump is too tiny to have metastasised. Stop making stuff up!

AriaRen · Sep 24, 2021

SB2017 said:
I know this is meant to snap me out of it but that last part was phrased kind of harsh.
I don’t think I’m “making stuff up”. When I brought up size to my gyno she said the pathology is what matters, coupled with the fact that it might’ve been there last year and they missed it. It’s my health anxiety that’s making me focus on those things

Pathology is definitely what matters to know if it's malignant or not, and whilst Doug was a bit harsh, they're right in saying it's waaaay too small to have metastasized, even if they missed it last year. Health anxiety does make us focus on the worst, but we need to realise that that's the case, it's not making us focus on fact. The fact is you have a totey wee lump, it might be something bad but if it is, you've caught it so early it won't even be anything that difficult to resolve, so thank god. You need to fight back to the thoughts you have instead of accepting them as the facts, you can do this x

Doug97 · Sep 24, 2021

I apologise for sounding harsh. I was just trying to get through to you that you need to stick to the facts, precisely BECAUSE you have health anxiety. Your lump is so small that it cannot have metastasised. That is one of the facts. So acting like it has metastasised IS making stuff up. Another fact is that you don't even know yet that it's not benign. Concentrate on these facts. Keep repeating them to yourself.

Any thoughts that deviate from these facts is your health anxiety.

EMJ · Sep 24, 2021

Hoping you get good news today on your test results .... we are all here to support you and encourage you to tame those terrible health anxiety worries .... hugs!

Fraser · Sep 24, 2021

The place where HA types tend to "make stuff up" is when we are thinking of possible outcomes, we tend to focus on the most dire outcome and tell ourselves that it is somehow the most likely or real, and then have an emotional reaction as though that outcome were true. In other words, classical catastrophic thinking. For instance, when I have a symptom I will often decide that it is cancer, diagnose myself, and then start being upset about the "fact" that I'm dying. Meanwhile, my partner can have symptoms that actually suggest cancer and hav4e a "wait and see" approach with the attitude that if it is cancer, then she'll have to go through some treatments to get rid of it and get back to her regular life. The trick for HA sufferers is to realign our reactions with the likely severity of the issue. In your case SB, what you are going through is extremely scary and would be scary for someone without HA as well. However, nothing that you've been told so far should indicate to you that you are dying or that you will die from this. There comes a point where the stress from worrying is more harmful than helpful, and as HA sufferers, most of us cross that line before we even step into a doctor's office. The question becomes, "how do we change out cognitive responses to these types of scenarios". The answer, unfortunately is that it is difficult and takes time, but fortunately is very possible.

For right now, I would focus on immediate stress alleviation techniques and maybe worry about CBT a bit down the road. But don't put it off forever!

AriaRen · Sep 24, 2021

Fraser said:
The place where HA types tend to "make stuff up" is when we are thinking of possible outcomes, we tend to focus on the most dire outcome and tell ourselves that it is somehow the most likely or real, and then have an emotional reaction as though that outcome were true. In other words, classical catastrophic thinking. For instance, when I have a symptom I will often decide that it is cancer, diagnose myself, and then start being upset about the "fact" that I'm dying. Meanwhile, my partner can have symptoms that actually suggest cancer and hav4e a "wait and see" approach with the attitude that if it is cancer, then she'll have to go through some treatments to get rid of it and get back to her regular life. The trick for HA sufferers is to realign our reactions with the likely severity of the issue. In your case SB, what you are going through is extremely scary and would be scary for someone without HA as well. However, nothing that you've been told so far should indicate to you that you are dying or that you will die from this. There comes a point where the stress from worrying is more harmful than helpful, and as HA sufferers, most of us cross that line before we even step into a doctor's office. The question becomes, "how do we change out cognitive responses to these types of scenarios". The answer, unfortunately is that it is difficult and takes time, but fortunately is very possible.

For right now, I would focus on immediate stress alleviation techniques and maybe worry about CBT a bit down the road. But don't put it off forever!

Amazing advice

EMJ · Sep 24, 2021

Fraser said:
The place where HA types tend to "make stuff up" is when we are thinking of possible outcomes, we tend to focus on the most dire outcome and tell ourselves that it is somehow the most likely or real, and then have an emotional reaction as though that outcome were true. In other words, classical catastrophic thinking. For instance, when I have a symptom I will often decide that it is cancer, diagnose myself, and then start being upset about the "fact" that I'm dying. Meanwhile, my partner can have symptoms that actually suggest cancer and hav4e a "wait and see" approach with the attitude that if it is cancer, then she'll have to go through some treatments to get rid of it and get back to her regular life. The trick for HA sufferers is to realign our reactions with the likely severity of the issue. In your case SB, what you are going through is extremely scary and would be scary for someone without HA as well. However, nothing that you've been told so far should indicate to you that you are dying or that you will die from this. There comes a point where the stress from worrying is more harmful than helpful, and as HA sufferers, most of us cross that line before we even step into a doctor's office. The question becomes, "how do we change out cognitive responses to these types of scenarios". The answer, unfortunately is that it is difficult and takes time, but fortunately is very possible.

For right now, I would focus on immediate stress alleviation techniques and maybe worry about CBT a bit down the road. But don't put it off forever!

Always always great suggestions Fraser.... I think I will keep all your posts in a book as a resource when I am working with my clients! Plus on my fridge for me to review regularly!

Health anxiety.... we are all here due to a similar Mental Heath challenge... Health Anxiety (a term I significantly prefer over hypochondria) .... an example I can share on how many of us might think;
I recently went through my yearly physical .... the test results came back ( after a weekend of terror and catastrophic thinking) I had 4 result that were flagged as high .... I went into overdrive ... called my doctor daughter and told her I thought I had a disease! now mind you these high results were mostly a number or 2 over the “normal” range .... then I had what was not a normally administered physical test but 1 I requested .... a urine microalbumine test... (because I had a sister with kidney disease and I had a side ache at the time) .... the test results came back high for micro protein in my urine .... WELL I diagnosed myself with kidney disease .... my Dr was not concerned.... my daughter was not concerned... my nephew ( an MD) was not concerned and neither was my niece who is in her last year of Med school at Vanderbilt.
So did I let it go? No of course not I contacted Mayo Clinic to try to get an appointment with a Nephrologist (kidney specialist).... and all along my daughter is telling me that stress and anxiety can cause issues with test results .... I worked myself into a frenzy (again) and so a week later I am trying to embrace the suggestions of my daughter ( who pleadingly asked me..”do you really think if I felt something was really wrong with your health that I would ignore it? “ ) ... I can retest in a few months .... relax... eat better and hydrate..... I was ashamed that I gave my sweet daughter the impression that I did not trust her. I explained to her in an apology that it was my health anxiety doubting her not her loving mother.
Health Anxiety causes us to become who we do not want to be and in itself cause health issues.... truly my worst health condition is my health anxiety.

Doug97 · Sep 24, 2021

EMJ said:
truly my worst health condition is my health anxiety.

Mine too.

EMJ · Sep 24, 2021

bigjetplane2 · Sep 24, 2021

SB2017 said:
I believe the test results are in. I’m waiting for my doctor to call me. I got a notification they were up on the app but the radiologist said not to read them because pathologists use a lot of medical terms that I might not understand.

Keep us updated.

Fraser · Sep 24, 2021

SB2017 said:
I believe the test results are in. I’m waiting for my doctor to call me. I got a notification they were up on the app but the radiologist said not to read them because pathologists use a lot of medical terms that I might not understand.

When did your radiologist tell you this? When do you expect your doctor will call? How are you feeling about the waiting process? Anything you'd like to talk about or go over?

Feel free not to answer any of that. They are just prompts for you to express yourself if you'd like to.

Mammogram and ultrasound - convinced it’s cancer

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