Making eye contact.

[Xzreplays]

Since I was younger, I always found it awkward to make eye contact with strangers because I always felt weird and uncomfortable. I have now grown into that habit and when I'm having an conversation with someone for example like job interview, one of the main things they look at is body language and eye contact, which I lack. This has prevented me from having normal conversation with people since I'm not making eye contact they always think I am feeling uncomfortable and I don't want to be there. I tried to break that habit and try to make eye contact with people however, I am still struggling. Hopefully, I will break out of that barrier and become confident enough to look into people's eyes.

 

[rootle]

Eye contact is such a weird thing. Sometimes it happens and its just so normal you forget you're doing it. Other times you can do it but you really need to force yourself to. Often I just involuntarily look away from a person's eyes. And the worst is when you do make eye contact and are very conscious about it, and then your eyes start watering. I've never met anyone else who that happens to. Once someone thought I was crying because it was pretty badly watering. What's sad is that some people don't understand that it can be difficult and consider it unfriendly or rude.

 

[amy88]

Honestly when I am out running errands and things like that, a lot of the time I am wearing sunglasses -- and I think that helps in a way - because I can make eye contact with them, but they can't see my eyes. It's kind of helped me build a bit of confidence with it, because I don't feel like it's AS uncomfortable now if I don't have my sunglasses on.


It probably sounds like a bit of a goofy approach, but it's helped a little for me.

 

[Moroccanbeauty2266]

I have a hard time with having eye contact with men who are older and could be my father. This has always made me feel uncomfortable.


However, I have no problems with talking with women I do not know.

 

[rz3300]

I am actually surprisingly good at making eye contact, and I consider it one of my best assets when it comes to job interviews and making first impressions. If only the impressions could stop at the first, though, and not proceed anymore to let them see the real me, then I would be smooth sailing, but of course we all know that is not that case. I guess it is one of those things that I can do, and that is good because there are not too many of those.

 

[Sunflower_Michele54]

For me, making eye contact depends on whether I feel comfortable around who I am talking to. I feel nervous when I look at someone because it's just awkward for me. I have no problem looking at people who aren't looking at me or talking to me. This is because I don't want them to feel like I am judging them in a bad way. Many people tend to get the impression that if someone is looking at you, it's for a bad reason. I am someone who feels that way a lot of times. If I feel intimidated by someone, I will look away once they lock eyes with me unless they smile at me or say something to me. I don't want to stress myself out by continuing to look at someone who is giving me an intimidating look. It just causes me to develop anger towards them. I feel like this is something that I will always struggle with, but I really hope I can work on ways to work on it.

 

[TyCole8]

I think the most important thing to remember is that they are human, just like you. It can be intimidating as maintaining eye contact adds a certain level of intimacy. What I always remind myself is that I am safe. What is the worst thing that could happen if I look them in the eye? The worst outcome I can think about is actually establishing some form of relationship. Thats not so bad, right?

 

[TyCole8]

I feel the same as you do. I can talk, I can socialize but I just can't make eye contact. The only person I haven no trouble with is my boyfriend, but even talking to my mother can be trigger my anxiety a bit. I think this is because when someone looks through your eyes, they can see that you're feeling. All us humans have that perception, and as anxiety increases shyness, it makes it harder for us to deal with it. Besides, it's kind of awkward.

It's good that you feel comfortable around your boyfriend, especially considering the fact that your boyfriend is who you're most intimate with! I try thinking of perception as a beautiful thing. Isn't our purpose in life to connect with other people?

 

[TyCole8]

Try looking yourself in the eyes everytime you find yourself in front of a mirror, I find it to be a great sort of "practice".

Looking deep into my own eyes is actually one of the most difficult things for me to do! I think the reason for this is because I am forced to deal with the reality of who I am. If one can get over that, looking at anyone else in the eye isn't as scary.

 

[Laneorexorcist]

I think the most important thing to remember is that they are human' date=' just like you. It can be intimidating as maintaining eye contact adds a certain level of intimacy. What I always remind myself is that I am safe. What is the worst thing that could happen if I look them in the eye? The worst outcome I can think about is actually establishing some form of relationship. Thats not so bad, right?[/quote']
I agree with you! Actually, when I'm feeling anxious over a certain social situation, to calm myself down I always think that we all are humans, we have insecurities and at one point of the day, we all ask ourselves the same questions about what others will think about us, and at the end of the day is not such a big deal at all, but the key here is to know what to think on certain moment, I guess.

 

[DDNatureLover]

Honestly when I am out running errands and things like that, a lot of the time I am wearing sunglasses -- and I think that helps in a way - because I can make eye contact with them, but they can't see my eyes. It's kind of helped me build a bit of confidence with it, because I don't feel like it's AS uncomfortable now if I don't have my sunglasses on.
It probably sounds like a bit of a goofy approach, but it's helped a little for me.

That's a great point. I have found that I also have more confidence when I'm wearing sunglasses, since people can't see into my eyes, and often can't tell if I'm gazing into theirs.


I've found it useful over the years to focus on something such as eyebrows, rather than the eyes themselves.


Also, in some cultures, it's considered rude to make direct eye contact, so I think in some settings, at least, the emphasis on eye contact has decreased.


I enjoy studying people, and when doing so, I make a conscious effort to glance away periodically, just so the activity appears more natural and non-threatening/challenging.

 

[ineedmystrength]

I definitely agree that making and maintaining eye contact is one of the most difficult things for me to do, as someone with anxiety. I feel bad, because when I'm talking to friends and family, I'm always looking around, and I get told I'm acting like I'm paranoid. In job interviews, I just blink constantly so it looks like I'm looking at the person, but I don't feel like I'm staring intensely. Eye contact just makes me feel very shy and awkward, and I don't want to make social interactions more difficult than they already are, but I just can't help it. At this point, it's a reflex to not stare people in the eye...most of my close friends understand, but new people always give me strange looks.

 

[sidney]

I find it easy to make eye contact if I am actually talking to someone, whether it's someone that I know or if it's a stranger. But if I'm just standing there or walking and people are looking at me and we aren't talking, then I will immediately look away after 2 seconds. I'm not really comfortable making eye contact with strangers, especially if we are not talking and they're just looking. I'm not a shy person in general, so I don't really feel anxious when I'm talking to people and I have to look at them in the eye.

 

[WorkAtHomeGal]

I have this problem even when talking to family where I may look away. I am getting better but its been a problem since I was little. I am shy on top of this which doesn't help! It is a problem during interviews too. It has been a long time since I had a face to face interview so this will be interesting. I just find it hard I am not sure why, having the anxious feeling creep in with it doesn't help.