Losing Weight

[idontlikeusernames]

Hi, this is my first post here. I have OCD and health anxiety.

Over the past two years I've put on some weight. I used to be very toned and exercise 6 days a week. My health anxiety made me worry about exercising, so I stopped and now I've obviously gained quite a bit of weight. I also had a terrible diet. I'm still about average, not exactly overweight, but I feel so weighed down and unfit.

I've started eating more healthily and exercising more (not as much as I used to, but walks every morning and one or two higher-intensity exercise sessions a week), but every time I lose even 2lbs I panic that I have cancer. I then spend the next week binge eating junk food to 'prove' to myself I can still put the weight on. I weigh myself sometimes several times a day to make sure I haven't lost any more.

I get depressed that I'm not losing weight and hate the way I look, but every time I lose a tiny bit I go back to eating way more than I should. A lot of the time I don't even want to eat the junk food but feel like I have to. I'll eat so much that it makes me feel sick. Then with eating too much comes stomach problems, which then makes me even more anxious that I'm ill.

I don't know how to get out of the cycle. I feel like I'm wasting my life. I don't know why I'm writing this here, but I don't feel like anyone around me understands. I'm having therapy sessions but not finding them helpful at all. I've had medication from my doctor but that just makes me more depressed.

Not really sure what to do.

 

[Ms.Honey]

Oh my god, I can relate to this 100% exactly and I’m actually relieved to read this. Anyone I have ever said this to could not understand me at all.
The only thing that has worked to break this cycle for me is just not weighing myself ever! I actually threw my scale away

 

[bigjetplane6]

Scales are definitely a trigger for me. If my weight is dropping.

 

[Julieann90]

I am in the same boat, well actually I have calmed down a bit over the last few weeks, I got
To a point where I had lost a stone between September and January. I weighed myself morning afternoon and evening every single day! Making myself panic even more. And just like you I upped my intake of food! And now I can’t stop eating lol. But over the last 2 months my weight has increased by 8lb! It’s fluctuates sometimes between a few lb but nothing I can’t cope with! I was the same thinking I was ill because I had lost weight and the same with eating too much it gives me tummy ache sometimes and then I worry I have stomach cancer! But it’s not it’s cos I have eaten too much and I’m bloated. For me, I definitely think anxiety and worry made
My weight drop off, and the key thing to help right now, I have forced myself to stop weighing myself every day 3 times a day, instead I do it once a week! My partner always says to me, “ most women would be glad to lose weight, why aren’t you, why are you so desperate to put it back on, be happy!” But us with health anxiety can’t think like that. It’s not a nice head space to be in! But good luck I am sure you are ok!!

 

[Belizz]

I can relate really, but then every time I remind myself that the illness type of losing weight would be very fast. So I say to myself this is slow, because I try to lose weight and that's why I am losing weight.
I also need to get back into the habit of healthy eating and exercising.So hard.

 

[idontlikeusernames]

I completely forgot I posted this thank you for the replies, it's nice to know I'm not the only one. I want to be able to feel fit again, but I also just can't get this out of my head. I'm trying to limit myself to weighing once a day. Hopefully that will help a little, then I'll try to keep cutting it down to every other day, then miss another day etc.

I can't really get rid of the scales as they are for the rest of the household too, not just me.