Limiting Anxiety on Trips?

[Angelx]

Hi friends! I’ve been away for a while. Starting Zoloft helped my anxiety a TON. I’m finally taking it every day and I have been for about a month. I was doing great until about a week ago when I caught a stomach bug. I continued to take my medication, but I’m thinking my body didn’t have time to absorb it. From when I got the stomach bug until yesterday, my anxiety has been through the roof. Much worse than it was before I started taking the medication. I feel much better today and the stomach bug ended a couple days ago, so I might be out of the woods, but I have one concern.
A week from Wednesday I’m going on a big trip, my first ever vacation (it’s only 3 days), with my boyfriend. I’m scared because I usually do horrible on trips. Whenever I’d go far away from home, my anxiety would become so debilitating I wouldn’t be able to do anything or enjoy myself. This happened for several years until I finally stopped going places that were far away. I haven’t been on a long trip since 2016.
My boyfriend assured me that we will have fun and he’ll be there for me if I get anxious, but I’m not so sure he gets it. I feel like I’m going to get there and decide I want to come back home, and that would be a huge waste of money because we can’t get a refund from the hotel. The whole trip is for my birthday anyway, so I’d feel really bad for changing my mind once we got there.
I guess my anxiety is making me worry before there is anything to worry about. Chances are I’ll get there and have fun. But being scared of it makes me not want to make plans. My boyfriend wants to go parasailing while we are there and I told him we should just hang out in the hotel pool instead. I want to be close to the room in case I start to panic. I don’t like going to unfamiliar places, talking to unfamiliar people, and not being close to a safe space where I can be by myself and calm down.

Should I explain that to my boyfriend? Would making up “safe spots” near the attractions help? Every time I google restaurants for us to eat at or fun places for us to go, my anxiety floods in at the thought of being somewhere new. I can’t even look at the driving directions without feeling panic. I don’t know how to plan a trip if I can’t do that, and I don’t wanna ruin it for my bf who is very excited. I wanna cancel it and stay home, but then my family would have a million questions about why and I just don’t have the energy for that. Plus I wanna go and have fun like how other people do. Any advice is more than welcome! xx


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[JLD]

Trust me, you will regret not going. There are no safe spaces anywhere. Anxiety is in the mind and you take that with you wherever you go. It's there even when you are in the comfy confines of your house or apartment.

My advice is to go. And have fun.

 

[Bobnnat]

I agree with JLD; i would only add that perhaps it would be a good idea to let your BF know that you would appreciate his compromising with you by foregoing the parasailing and instead stay at the hotel pool as you suggest. I know there are times I need to simply be alone, so having your hotel room to be by yourself for a while if need be would be a good plan. He should understand, as he wants both of you to have fun and minimize any anxiety for you.

I'm assuming you've both assessed any COVID risks and are dealing with that appropriately. Not to further stress you, but not mentioning it is like ignoring the 800 pound gorilla in the room.

 

[Angelx]

Trust me, you will regret not going. There are no safe spaces anywhere. Anxiety is in the mind and you take that with you wherever you go. It's there even when you are in the comfy confines of your house or apartment.

My advice is to go. And have fun.

Thank you!! I think you’re right, I would likely regret it if I didn’t go!


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[Angelx]

I agree with JLD; i would only add that perhaps it would be a good idea to let your BF know that you would appreciate his compromising with you by foregoing the parasailing and instead stay at the hotel pool as you suggest. I know there are times I need to simply be alone, so having your hotel room to be by yourself for a while if need be would be a good plan. He should understand, as he wants both of you to have fun and minimize any anxiety for you.

I'm assuming you've both assessed any COVID risks and are dealing with that appropriately. Not to further stress you, but not mentioning it is like ignoring the 800 pound gorilla in the room.

Thank you so much! And yes, we assessed the risk and are dealing with it appropriately. I’m a germaphobe so Im bringing my own sheets, towels, hand soap, and sanitizing supplies to make sure everything is 100% germ free in our room, then in public we will practice social distancing as usual and wear masks. We don’t intend to go out much except to the beach and hotel pool, where we will stay as far away from people as possible (which we always do anyway). Thank you so much for your advice and concern!


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[Joshua1]

Should I explain that to my boyfriend? Would making up “safe spots” near the attractions help? Every time I google restaurants for us to eat at or fun places for us to go, my anxiety floods in at the thought of being somewhere new. I can’t even look at the driving directions without feeling panic. I don’t know how to plan a trip if I can’t do that, and I don’t wanna ruin it for my bf who is very excited. I wanna cancel it and stay home, but then my family would have a million questions about why and I just don’t have the energy for that. Plus I wanna go and have fun like how other people do. Any advice is more than welcome! xx

Its good to try new things and go new places. It is what makes life fun. Do not cancel your plans but believe that these things are good for you. I suppose your boyfriend needs to reassure you, so speak to him about your concerns.