Learning to let go

[Alex]

One of the hardest things is to learn to let go of things whether it be a feeling (guilt, anger, or fear) or to let go of something familiar. I ended up having no choice but to let somethings go and while it made me anxious, eventually I did cope.


It's not easy to let go of things, but it is a step towards beating anxiety. Being forced to let go of things made me realize I was using up energy holding onto the status quo just because that's what was used to, and change was necessary and needed. We can adapt, sometimes to make that choice, but at times anxiety forces us to do so.

 

[gracer]

Such wonderful words to help me end my day well. This is one of the things that I need to remind myself every now and then - learning to let go. Let go of all the emotions that have been bothering me, let go of all the things that deserve to be forgotten, let go of all the feelings I have been keeping to myself, just let go. If we learn the process of letting go, things will turn out to be lighter and brighter. Let go of all the negative things and replace them with all things positive. Wouldn't it be such a wonderful feeling if we let go every now and then? Thank you so much for this very positive thread.

 

[Alex]

gracer it's a process and in time it becomes something that isn't so scary. In my case it happened as much as I fought it, and you use up energy fighting something you can't control. I try to think, "It's not the end of the world," if something has happened. It doesn't mean you go around not caring, but you learn to focus on what you can do something about and to let go of what you can't.


There are still some thing that are hard to let go, like an ex walking off with my stuff, but I have to think 'karma' and also it was only material stuff, some that can't be replaced, but still it's not the end of the world!


You can't force a parent to love you, or a friend to care more;they either do or don't. I see it as their loss and not mine now.

 

[LovelyLiz]

I find this as well. In particular, I find it difficult to let go of things that I hoped would happen but come to seem unlikely. So while the trauma of losing a loved one is painful, I can accept that people pass away, and be grateful for the time I spent with them. I find it more difficult to accept, for example, that a job opportunity or relationship that I was excited about isn't going to happen. It can be difficult to accept that our hopes aren't going to come to pass, but I think it's ultimately for the best to accept the world as it is, rather than how we'd like it to be.

 

[guyy]

I find this as well. In particular' date=' I find it difficult to let go of things that I hoped would happen but come to seem unlikely. So while the trauma of losing a loved one is painful, I can accept that people pass away, and be grateful for the time I spent with them. I find it more difficult to accept, for example, that a job opportunity or relationship that I was excited about isn't going to happen. It can be difficult to accept that our hopes aren't going to come to pass, but I think it's ultimately for the best to accept the world as it is, rather than how we'd like it to be.[/quote']
that's beauitful word's,i've lost alot of love's one's this year its heartbreaking but you got to let go and move on if that make's sense? the longer you hold on the harder it get's to let go

 

[pwarbi]

Letting go is hard, but there will come a point in everyone's life when we simply have to look at what holding on is doing to us. Sense very rarely comes into it when we are talking about feelings and emotions but it makes no sense to worry and think about things that's happened in the past, hold on to a time or a person in our life that isn't going to help us in the here and now or in the future.


Letting go of something doesn't have to mean forgetting altogether as I think a lot of people think it does, that's why they find it hard to let go, but letting go free's us of a burden that sometimes we shouldn't have to carry round with us in our everyday life. Learning to leave our thoughts in our head and not let them consume our lives is an important step to take, and once we have learned how to do that, our lives are better for it.

 

[Sue]

That is so true. Letting go is never easy whether it is a feeling or somebody in your life who is toxic. There comes a time when it has to be done for our own sanity. We can't keeping holding on to something bad while we are bringing ourselves down. Once you do make that decision it is a though a huge weight has been lifted from your shoulders. You can finally breath and see things through a different light. I just recently had to let some family members go because of the hurt they were bringing into my life. It wasn't easy but it was something that had to be done. Maybe in time things can be healed but for now I need to focus on me and my healing.

 

[LovelyLiz]

that's beauitful word's,i've lost alot of love's one's this year its heartbreaking but you got to let go and move on if that make's sense? the longer you hold on the harder it get's to let go

Thank you Guyy. I think everyone is tempted to try to hold on to something, whether it's the memory of someone who's gone, the hope for something that isn't going to pass, or as Sue says, a toxic relationship. I think taking off rose-tinted glasses and seeing that it's time to start something new can be the hardest thing in the world to do. But there can be a sense of positivity, and openness, if that is fully embraced.

 

[SirJoe]

That is probably the thing that is the most difficult to do, but things change, sometimes for the better sometimes not, but it's unavoidable. Holding on is sometimes more difficult then letting go but we don't realise that until we finally do let go.

 

[soodito]

Learning to let go is a slow process. It is quite difficult but it is not impossible. We should let go everything that destroys our inner peace or takes away our happiness. Holding on won't help. It is very difficult to let go but as time passes one will automatically learn that we should do things that makes us happy, we should surround ourselves with people who wants to be with us. Holding on to anything which is not good for us will always bring sorrow. We should realise what is worth holding on.

 

[L.Snowflake]

I think that the first step of letting go of things that pull you down or do you no good is to know and accept yourself, because then things that don't belong in your life will just seem strange and you'll have the tendency to push them away. We hold onto things, because we want to fill the spaces in us, but we should all know that we already are whole, we have everything we need, so we should just keep close things that bring us happiness, not just pleasure, but pure happiness. Also if I've learned anything up until now is that you can and should outgrow things and people that only criticize you, don't believe and encourage you, because people who care about you listen to you and try to understand, and on the other side I think it is for the best if we talk about our feelings and speak our minds, it is all about communication and showing the world your most pure, true version of yourself.

 

[rz3300a]

Well this is certainly something that I think that we all deal with , to varying degrees. It also certainly depends on the thing that you are trying to let go of, and I know that when it comes to people, I might the worst person in the entire world at (actually, maybe second only to my mother). I know that it is something tied to a fear of abandonment of something like that, and I will not get into my whole life story so don't worry, but it manifests itself in this way. The good news is that there are plenty of others out there who are the same way, so the support is there. Interesting stuff, and thanks for sharing.

 

[djordjem87]

I just read a book Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy and I realized that we just really need to make decisions about everything and it is that simple. We choose to be happy or to let go. We have to set our minds to our goals and realize that not letting go is only stopping us even if we want to be drunks and write drunk poetry in the style of Bukowski. I tried these 'methods' but they are just reality of our mindsets. Nothing more to it. Simply wish to be successful and think about what you want to do. The way will appear like magic but it will not be magic. It will be your subconscious mind because if it was your conscious mind you would know, right? It is very much true and it is happening to me as we speak. I attract happiness in my life by making people around me happy. Let go of all bad things or unwanted stuff that is holding you back and do your best in life.

 

[theduck7]

Letting go is a very important part of being happy. If we hold onto all the negative things it just turns into a heavier and heavier burden that drags you down. I had an experience where I was badly treated at work. My boss made some decisions that I felt were extremely unjustified and it was bad enough that I wanted to quit my job. I didn't quit but I kept reliving that experience. Thinking about it made me feel justified in my actions, but it also brought back all the pain and anger I had experienced. I was holding on to those negative feelings because it made me almost feel good somehow. About a year later God showed me that it didn't matter if me or my boss had been right. I needed to admit to myself that some of the situation was my fault and I needed to forgive my boss for all the pain he had caused me. When I could do that I was so much happier and the whole experience taught me that holding onto negative feelings about myself or my situation or the way others treat me doesn't make me happy. Even if you aren't religious letting go of the bad things is very freeing. Being free of everything was a lot better than enjoying feeling sorry for myself.

 

[guyy]

Thank you Guyy. I think everyone is tempted to try to hold on to something, whether it's the memory of someone who's gone, the hope for something that isn't going to pass, or as Sue says, a toxic relationship. I think taking off rose-tinted glasses and seeing that it's time to start something new can be the hardest thing in the world to do. But there can be a sense of positivity, and openness, if that is fully embraced.

Your most welcome, i totally agree with you 100% i was in a relationship for about 4 years..not that long but i moved away from family and friend's and the relationship got very abusive and i didn't notice it as much as my family did when they visited. but my mum took me home and it was so hard to let go of that relationship if that make's sense, but i just had to let go, as hard as it was you just have to and move on

 

[Surrender]

This is really good advice and something I have tried to practice. When I get wound up about something, get angry, feel slighted, or down on my situation, I have said this to myself "let it go" and it somehow works! Not perfectly, but just saying the words to myself amazing does help, and I kind of visualize a stream flowing from me, and it always relaxes my shoulders and brings me a bit of peace.

 

[thecorinthian]

Good for you man learning to let go is the first step to a happy and fulfilling life. I went through a lot of different stages to get over my anxiety and depression as well. I always second-guessed myself and thinking that people think I'm weird or small. It took a lot to talk about my insecurities but thanks to my loving and supportive family and friends I think I'll be fine. Having a friend helped me to let go of my fears.

 

[hades_leae]

I completely agree, letting go of things is a good way to grow and develop a stronger mind. I think people generally become to attached to so many things that could easily break their emotions. I had struggled with many things in my past that I didn't want to let go, but then realized it was so much easier to just let go because I felt this big relief afterwards.


It was like a burden that I knew I didn't want, but was forced to hold onto because of my emotion. Noe I got my emotions in check when it comes down to letting something go. If I'm in a relationship for 4 years, and I want this woman to be my wife and she randomly comes to me one day and says she doesn't want the relationship anymore...instantly I'm letting go.

 

[Zeesi]

It's so interesting that you say that it made you anxious to let some things go. I feel like that sometimes too. It's strange how sometimes something can really be holding us back, but we hold on to it because it feels familiar, so familiar in fact that we would almost rather stay the same than risk the strange feeling of letting that something/someone go. Many times it has to be done though. Over the years I have become better and better at letting things and people go that are no longer beneficial to my life, or that are no longer healthy for me.


Sometimes I still struggle, and hold on for way too long, but hopefully I will get better at letting go and be all the more happier for it.


I've had to let go of relationships, let go of so-called friendships, let go of certain family members (to a certain extent, they will always be family). It's tough to do, but is incredibly freeing.

 

[Panic57]

I think letting go is probably the hardest thing for me to do because I tend to live in the past by default. My mind keeps retracing my steps so that I won't make the same mistakes in the future. But my mistakes haunt me. You have to actively put your mind to letting go of those painful emotions attached to the memories but not the lessons you learned from those memories.