Not sure if this is the right spot to post this, but either way. About 7 years ago I had a bad experience with a hallucinogen drug I didn't know I was taking. After about 30 minutes I started to realize things were getting out of control which sent me into a huge panic attack. I thought I died, that my friends weren't real, and that I was stuck forever, thank goodness it all passed. It took about 3 hours before I settled down, after that experience I quit smoking, both cigarettes and marijuana( which I had only smoked for about a month) so on top of being very uneasy from the bad trip I was also experiencing severe nicotine/marijuana withdrawals. After getting straight and off of everything I still have lingering anxiety/depression( or at least that what I think I have from research I have done) especially health anxiety. Also, I dont meddle with any form or drugs or alcohol any longer due to fear of losing control again. The only thing I'll do is occassionally go back to nicotine in the form of chewing tobacco. I'm overly anxious about being allergic to food now, thinking I'll have a sever allergic reaction, or that I'm developing a sever mental illness such as schizophrenia or major depressive disorder. Either way fast forward since that time 7 years ago every time I dabble in chewing tabacco which only last for all of 1-2 months I'll quit cold Turkey and I'll suffer withdrawals again. I'll go back and forth from quitting and chewing about once a year. I'll chew for a month then quit cold Turkey again and then wont chew for another 9-12 months or so. So each time I go through the withdrawals all of my issues will come back, but usually after about 3-4 months lol start to feel better again and only deal with mild anxiety. I wont write too long of a story so I'll describe the most recent time, which I quit back in april. Since then I would constantly worry about developing schizophrenia and going insane( my biggest fear) along with minor panick attacks and depression, and also severe depersonalization and derealization, it's been about 4 months and I started to feel better about 2 weeks ago, but now I feel like my anxiety/depression is coming back, with a vengeance. I feel so weird I cant explain it, the best attempt I can do to explain would be depression and anxiety but with no flight or fight response. If that makes sense? Like I'm used to my thoughts of depression and anxiety and my fear of going insane but at the same time I feel like shouldn't be. Its causing me distress and I feel like I'm constantly trying to Google for answers that can relieve any of the distress but to no avail. So currently I feel like I'm seperated from my surroundings, nothing looks familiar to me(if that makes any sense) I was having pretty depressive thoughts. However I feel like I also have no emtions towards anything, like I can't even cry or feel joy, and that really scares me. I constantly overthink everything. I think I have ocd,anxiety, and depression. However that's my self diagnosis. Any insight or help would be much appreciated.