Just sharing my thoughts

[bandana121]

I've recently been in Counselling for anxiety/depression. It was a really good and positive experience I'd would highly recommend it. I'm actually looking forward to doing CBT next.

I remember the Counsellor saying it would be good idea that I got back into work. It would be beneficial. So after finishing the counselling I set some goals in looking for a job.

I got some help from a local organisation to help me with my interview techniques ect.

On my first interview (which I really went for just for the interview) they offered me a 6 month contract. I was really excited. Wow I got a temp job on my first try! What a great start. Lucky me I thought.

I was really nervous on my first day. It was daunting to see so many people in the office but I remained steadfast. I was determined to stay the course. Heck I had already made plans with the money that I was going to get from my first pay.

Then a few days in a female work colleague started to make snide remarks at me. I apologised if I upset her in any. I really hoped she would just stop making the comments.

Unfortunately she didn't. She kept on making the snide remarks and she was loud about it. I could see people were looking as she got louder and louder. I started to feel very self conscious and the anxiety started kicking in hard.

Then in the following days she started escalating from making snide remarks to threads.

She became very confrontational after she believed I made a mistake on a spreadsheet that she used regularly. The whole experience felt humiliating. My anxiety level shot through the roof.

I felt humiliated.

At this point I knew she was singling me out. She didn't have an issue with anyone else she worked with.

I felt embarrassed but I made a decision to speak with my manager. At first she was responsive and seemed to take on board what I say and how this work colleague was making me feel. She told that she would talk to her and things would be better.

After waiting patiently for a couple of days I had to chase the manager up again. The fact that I had to do that made me wonder if I she really understood how difficult it was for me or if I hadn't stressed it enough. She tried to explain to me that she had been really busy but she would talk to her.

Things are a little more quiet at work now but I'm still feeling on edge every day that I'm there. I'm definitely going to leave sooner rather than later. I'm hoping I can make it through to the new year and when the job market opens up again.

Don't get me wrong I've got the option to quit anytime I want but I don't want to (as I like the idea having some decent money coming in.) She may be getting the better of me but I'm determined to do this my way.

It makes me smile when I reflect on what the Counsellor said about working (I know she meant well).

I also learned that I needed to vent and I'm hoping this forum will allow me do that.

Just sharing my thoughts!

 

[Rinka]

That’s great @bandana121 that you have gone that step and started the job and more importantly that you reported the bullying co-worker. If your manager won’t resolve the issue, you could escalate it to HR. They need to do something about her behaviour.
I think you can be really proud about yourself that you made those steps. Let us know how you are getting on.

 

[bandana121]

@Rinka Thank you for the support.
Unfortunately though I'm a temporary worker there. I get paid through an employment agency so I'm it probably won't get escalated to HR.
Something that I should have mentioned earlier about my situation is that I was heavily bullied as a child and into my early teens and I've really struggled with overcoming that. Having to deal with it at work now makes it exceptionally hard to go through but again I'm determined to get through it and move on to better things.

 

[triceps]

@Rinka Thank you for the support.
Unfortunately though I'm a temporary worker there. I get paid through an employment agency so I'm it probably won't get escalated to HR.
Something that I should have mentioned earlier about my situation is that I was heavily bullied as a child and into my early teens and I've really struggled with overcoming that. Having to deal with it at work now makes it exceptionally hard to go through but again I'm determined to get through it and move on to better things.

Hi bandana. Sure sorry you were bullied growing up. It's one of the worst things that society seems to ignore or not admit how emotionally damaging it is. The great thing is that you've learned how to stand up for yourself. The person who helped you fill out the paperwork for the job is part of the HR Dept.. They could steer you to the right reporting person if things get bad again. As Rinka says, congrats on getting as far as you have.

 

[bandana121]

@triceps Thanks. It's certainly something I'll keep in mind.