Just One Thing After Another

[haeshin9]

I can't get a break. First I've got body (back) health problems, then up comes period problems, and then comes teeth problems, and now I might have eye problems as well. Each problem comes with the stress of calling/making appointments, driving to new places for tests, and the growing paranoia that just when I think one problem is taken care of, something new will pop up. Then I have something else to worry about. I have at least one medical appointment every other week and still have to make more for different things. Two weeks ago I saw the doctor and dentist on the same day. It's all incredibly stressful since I LOATHE driving, strangers are everywhere, and no matter what anyone says, I still can't bring myself to have a pelvic exam. To all you kind souls who tried giving me advice I'm sorry but I can't. No amount of talking, warning of diseases, or becoming familiar with a doctor will make it any less traumatizing for me, nor will it lessen the feeling that I'm being pressured into one.

All in all, my body isn't giving me a chance to think "yay! it's all over!". I'm starting to slide from anxiety to depression. Like, this is my life from now on. It's too tiring to deal with one thing after another. I should just lie down and let the universe beat on me forever. Medical scare after medical scare, each one giving me a heart attack of anxiety, because so far each problem has had the potential to be something huge. For example, a tooth abscess that might be a cracked tooth, in which case I'll need to get that tooth pulled out, I won't know for sure until they check on the root canal that was done to me, and that lump from an infection hasn't gone away with antibiotics so wtf now? I'm also told that I have a high risk for retinal detachment. Once I was told that I might need surgery. In EVERY AREA OF MY BODY, I seem to be at high risk for something serious, and even the doctors will never be sure if I'm safe or not until the worst happens.

So far it's nothing serious, but all has the good potential to be. I'm scared of when I finally hit the 'lucky' jackpot because the way things are going that damn egg's gotta crack sometime.

 

[Rathgar]

Hi,
I understand how stressful it all is. Are you followed by any doctor for the anxiety and depression? What are they suggesting?

 

[matisworried]

i'm sorry you're under so much stress/anxiety right now. it's very easy for anxiety to turn in to depression and when it does, the weight of it is incredibly crushing. i've been there and it's a very difficult hole to dig yourself out of. giving up isn't an option, though... unless, of course, you enjoy being miserable. i think treating your mental health is just as important if not more important than treating the physical issues you've mentioned. have you looked in to it at all? or made any steps to manage it? it sounds like it could be very beneficial for you.

i know it seems overwhelming but just remember that even the healthiest people have health issues that need to be addressed. i've broken teeth (several - i clench my jaw in my sleep when i'm under stress), have had an abcess, had several root canals and just last year, had a tooth pulled. it sucks, but really... all you can do is suck it up and deal with it. what's the other option? lumps caused by infection (depending on what/where the lump is) can take time to go away - sometimes weeks or months. if it's in an area where there's lots of friction or rubbing (or if you're constantly checking it) that'll only slow the healing down.

as for the other stuff you mentioned, if you're an adult, your medical care is totally your decision and no one can make you do anything. obviously, refusing medical treatment because your uncomfortable is not a healthy decision but it is yours to make. i'd say, however, that if you are willfully ignoring doctor's advice because of the anxiety or mental discomfort it causes, there are mental health components to that you should probably address, but again, as an adult, everyone is entitled to make whatever decisions they wish regardless of the negative impact it has on them.