viciouscycle
New Member
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2018
- Messages
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Hello everyone,
I've been struggling with health anxiety for years but this is the first time I've ever actually joined a forum to talk about it. 2015 was a terrible year for me. I began experiencing some weird symptoms in early February 2015 but I ignored them and chocked them up to ovulation. When my time of the month came and went, the symptoms persisted. Groin pain, lower back pain, lower abdominal pain. Suddenly one day I woke up with this unbelievable flank pain that had me bed ridden. Like an idiot, I googled flank pain along with every other symptom I had and got all these results like kidney cancer, kidney stones, etc. That's when the fear began. I had a full blown anxiety attack that quickly led into a yearlong battle with depression. After multiple visits to my doctor, I was diagnosed with a kidney inflammation and prescribed antibiotics. The doctor said it was because I hadn't been drinking enough water. I finished the course of antibiotics and the inflammation was healed but, due to the amount of anxiety I had been going through, I was now experiencing somatic symptoms of anxiety (tension headache, body aches, tightness in my chest, stomach pain) and all these symptoms gave me even more anxiety. I had so much anxiety, I was diagnosed with a stomach ulcer 4 months after my kidney inflammation was healed. I was only 22. Yes, 2015 was hell. Fast forward to 2018 and I'm going through the same hell all over again. At the beginning of April I came down with a really bad cold. I was down for a week. During this week, I began experiencing a weird sort of nagging ache on the left side of my back. I ignored it, thought I just slept wrong. After the cold went away, the ache never left, it just got worse. Now, 3 weeks later, the entire left side of my back is sore and aching like I pulled a muscle and now I'm feeling that initial nagging ache on the right side of my back this time. I have no idea what the hell it is but I have somehow convinced myself that I have non Hodgkins lymphoma mostly because I randomly came across two stories of two different people getting diagnosed with it after experiencing persistent back pain. I'm scared and right back in that same terrible mindset that I was in 2015. I'm depressed, eating horribly, I almost never leave my room. I feel distant and alone. My neck is now aching something fierce and I have a random bump in my right palm. What's worse is my family makes me feel like I'm doing all this for attention. They look at me like I'm crazy whenever I complain about the symptoms. My only friend has abandoned me after accusing me of not caring about HIS mental health because I shut myself off. I'm terrified to go to the doctor and be diagnosed with something horrible I feel like each day is my last and that I'm going to die soon. I wish I didn't feel so hopeless but I do. My life was on the right track before all this happened now I can barely get out of bed in the morning.
I've been struggling with health anxiety for years but this is the first time I've ever actually joined a forum to talk about it. 2015 was a terrible year for me. I began experiencing some weird symptoms in early February 2015 but I ignored them and chocked them up to ovulation. When my time of the month came and went, the symptoms persisted. Groin pain, lower back pain, lower abdominal pain. Suddenly one day I woke up with this unbelievable flank pain that had me bed ridden. Like an idiot, I googled flank pain along with every other symptom I had and got all these results like kidney cancer, kidney stones, etc. That's when the fear began. I had a full blown anxiety attack that quickly led into a yearlong battle with depression. After multiple visits to my doctor, I was diagnosed with a kidney inflammation and prescribed antibiotics. The doctor said it was because I hadn't been drinking enough water. I finished the course of antibiotics and the inflammation was healed but, due to the amount of anxiety I had been going through, I was now experiencing somatic symptoms of anxiety (tension headache, body aches, tightness in my chest, stomach pain) and all these symptoms gave me even more anxiety. I had so much anxiety, I was diagnosed with a stomach ulcer 4 months after my kidney inflammation was healed. I was only 22. Yes, 2015 was hell. Fast forward to 2018 and I'm going through the same hell all over again. At the beginning of April I came down with a really bad cold. I was down for a week. During this week, I began experiencing a weird sort of nagging ache on the left side of my back. I ignored it, thought I just slept wrong. After the cold went away, the ache never left, it just got worse. Now, 3 weeks later, the entire left side of my back is sore and aching like I pulled a muscle and now I'm feeling that initial nagging ache on the right side of my back this time. I have no idea what the hell it is but I have somehow convinced myself that I have non Hodgkins lymphoma mostly because I randomly came across two stories of two different people getting diagnosed with it after experiencing persistent back pain. I'm scared and right back in that same terrible mindset that I was in 2015. I'm depressed, eating horribly, I almost never leave my room. I feel distant and alone. My neck is now aching something fierce and I have a random bump in my right palm. What's worse is my family makes me feel like I'm doing all this for attention. They look at me like I'm crazy whenever I complain about the symptoms. My only friend has abandoned me after accusing me of not caring about HIS mental health because I shut myself off. I'm terrified to go to the doctor and be diagnosed with something horrible I feel like each day is my last and that I'm going to die soon. I wish I didn't feel so hopeless but I do. My life was on the right track before all this happened now I can barely get out of bed in the morning.
