I hadn’t had too many problems with HA and anxiety in general for the past couple years or so. It was a nice break, and I thought I’d somehow learned to properly deal with and process it. I think it started again back in October. I had a biannual doctors appointment coming up where they usually do a full blood panel, and I noticed I’d been peeing a lot that day so I thought diabetes. It runs in my family, my blood sugar has always been on the higher side of normal, but at least I’m going to the doctor soon. I checked it at home on a home monitor thingy and it was lower 90’s. Sure enough, it was the same at the doctor so all good there along with the rest of my results.
Fast forward to December, I’m driving and notice my finger nails have a bunch of vertical ridges and look pale-whiteish. I start googling and start thinking they’re Terry’s Nails or something and it all means I have diabetes, kidney disease, or liver disease. Just recently, I’ve started to realize they actually look relatively normal when I compare em with other people’s so that’s been helping.
Just last night, I noticed I had varicose veins on the top of my feet. There was a bigger puffy spot that I think might be a superficial blood clot. I’m not too worried about that as it seems they’re generally harmless, but it’s starting to creep in since I’ve read they can be warning signs of DVT, PE, and even some cancers. I’m not super active but I’m also not staying in the same position for more than a couple hours at most each day, but I’ve noticed my heart rates been higher than normal lately and it feels like I get a little out of r breath. Obviously it’s more than likely anxiety but it still brings PE to mind. On top of that, I started looking into premature aging, and I’m afraid my body is growing a lot faster than normal and shortening my lifespan. I’m 23 and have fairly common things such as dark bags under my eyes and now these nail ridges and lines, though I’ve always had the dark bags.
On top of this HA, I’ve just been dealing with a lot of other anxiety. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about death and how I’m afraid of dying. I’ve been thinking through lots of spiritual related things that I struggle with as a Christian who’s sorta drifted away in the past few years. I’ve been thinking about family and friends dying and how sad I’d be without them. I’ve been thinking about the state of the US politically and socially and humanity in general and people are seemingly too selfish to create a good, beneficial society. Though none of this has been debilitating anxiety, it’s been on my mind a lot and I think affecting my subconsciously. I’ve been having a lot of weird dreams as well. Some of em are a bit creepy but I wouldn’t call them nightmares. If anything, they just disrupt my sleep. Just been going through a lot in my head the past few months.
Fast forward to December, I’m driving and notice my finger nails have a bunch of vertical ridges and look pale-whiteish. I start googling and start thinking they’re Terry’s Nails or something and it all means I have diabetes, kidney disease, or liver disease. Just recently, I’ve started to realize they actually look relatively normal when I compare em with other people’s so that’s been helping.
Just last night, I noticed I had varicose veins on the top of my feet. There was a bigger puffy spot that I think might be a superficial blood clot. I’m not too worried about that as it seems they’re generally harmless, but it’s starting to creep in since I’ve read they can be warning signs of DVT, PE, and even some cancers. I’m not super active but I’m also not staying in the same position for more than a couple hours at most each day, but I’ve noticed my heart rates been higher than normal lately and it feels like I get a little out of r breath. Obviously it’s more than likely anxiety but it still brings PE to mind. On top of that, I started looking into premature aging, and I’m afraid my body is growing a lot faster than normal and shortening my lifespan. I’m 23 and have fairly common things such as dark bags under my eyes and now these nail ridges and lines, though I’ve always had the dark bags.
On top of this HA, I’ve just been dealing with a lot of other anxiety. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about death and how I’m afraid of dying. I’ve been thinking through lots of spiritual related things that I struggle with as a Christian who’s sorta drifted away in the past few years. I’ve been thinking about family and friends dying and how sad I’d be without them. I’ve been thinking about the state of the US politically and socially and humanity in general and people are seemingly too selfish to create a good, beneficial society. Though none of this has been debilitating anxiety, it’s been on my mind a lot and I think affecting my subconsciously. I’ve been having a lot of weird dreams as well. Some of em are a bit creepy but I wouldn’t call them nightmares. If anything, they just disrupt my sleep. Just been going through a lot in my head the past few months.