It's the little things...

[MarciKS]

Sometimes in life some of us come upon a place in life where we are totally on our own. Most people have family and friends they can lean on. People to cheer them on in their struggles. For those of us who don't, life can be extremely painful and hard to manage. When someone has no one to turn to for support it can be a difficult reality to face.

Just getting out of bed and performing ones daily routine can be a struggle. Having to go to work and pretend to be ok when you really want to tell someone you're hurting. But you know they won't be there to be a shoulder. They'll toss out some quick phrase like "cheer up" or "things will get better."

Perhaps they will. But where does that leave you? Still sitting there trying to cope with everything inside of you that is coming to the surface with no where to go with it. I used to think that maybe others would have my back if I truly needed them. But I have found out, that is not the case. They have their own lives. They are not counselors, psychologists or psychiatrists. So expecting them to care seems a bit unfair to them. I will give them that. However, if they love or care for you like they say they do, I expect them to give a crap about my well being. Not ever having anyone to share anything with is a difficult path to walk. I decided to help myself by making a blog to put all my pain on in the form of music, images and words. This seems to have helped. It has been therapeutic for me. If you are like me and you have no outlet, perhaps consider making yourself one through art, music, writing...just whatever you can use to express the pain.

 

[MarciKS]

When we allow people to make us feel bad for being who we are, I believe we are handing them the paintbrush. They don't have the qualifications to paint on our canvas. In other words, if someone is making assumptions about you or how you live your life and judging you for it without knowing you the way you do, then they need to step off. No one has the right to tell you how to live your life and to be who you are.

No one has the right to make you feel worthless. And yet that's what people like to do to each other. I finally got tired of feeling like a nobody that belonged no where. I have gone my own way. Cut ties with people who have made me cry more times than I care to count. If I'm going to be left at the curb of life like a piece of garbage and have to feel all alone then I might as well be all alone.

And you have the right to make that choice too without being harassed about it. You have to do what you have to do to take care of yourself.

 

[PRguru_cfj]

My parents always told me that if I needed anything just talk to.them but getting older I feel like its just giving get hairs and headaches. I can't realy do unusual hobbies becuase if the virus in my area. But I like to play games and other tech entertainment stuff. I also versed in photos pop n bbn and some art but I don't really practice as much as I should. I would kill to ho ti the beach. It's the place where all n bbn mybworries and stress just melt away when I am in the water doing anything like fishing or surfing that's my outlet.

View attachment 910

When we allow people to make us feel bad for being who we are, I believe we are handing them the paintbrush. They don't have the qualifications to paint on our canvas. In other words, if someone is making assumptions about you or how you live your life and judging you for it without knowing you the way you do, then they need to step off. No one has the right to tell you how to live your life and to be who you are.

No one has the right to make you feel worthless. And yet that's what people like to do to each other. I finally got tired of feeling like a nobody that belonged no where. I have gone my own way. Cut ties with people who have made me cry more times than I care to count. If I'm going to be left at the curb of life like a piece of garbage and have to feel all alone then I might as well be all alone.

And you have the right to make that choice too without being harassed about it. You have to do what you have to do to take care of yourself.

I fully agree with your words am most of time your barley remember the bad times. But sometimes the bad thoughts and experiences get into your skin and it constantly stab into you. Sometimes I still remember the bad times....and other times I forget also people's hatred stems form thier own existence. I notice in the earlier post that you like music. The haterd quote I got was form a hiphop so g called Joker bynDax. I started to listen to him a short while ago and I think you might like his song ( tried to give the link but it didn't accept it so look it up if you want)

Since turning in my twenties I don't relaynboice my concerns as I should. Guess my n.v pride tells me to.help other not get helped. Alot of my family have this mountain of pride and competitiveness. I wish I had an artistic touch to me. But I am a blunt instrument while other around me are fin pointed pens with the feather at the end. So I think your atong and creative and that makes you go far. So I should express myself and show other the real me. Crazy and all

 

[MarciKS]

My parents always told me that if I needed anything just talk to.them but getting older I feel like its just giving get hairs and headaches. I can't realy do unusual hobbies becuase if the virus in my area. But I like to play games and other tech entertainment stuff. I also versed in photos pop n bbn and some art but I don't really practice as much as I should. I would kill to ho ti the beach. It's the place where all n bbn mybworries and stress just melt away when I am in the water doing anything like fishing or surfing that's my outlet.



I fully agree with your words am most of time your barley remember the bad times. But sometimes the bad thoughts and experiences get into your skin and it constantly stab into you. Sometimes I still remember the bad times....and other times I forget also people's hatred stems form thier own existence. I notice in the earlier post that you like music. The haterd quote I got was form a hiphop so g called Joker bynDax. I started to listen to him a short while ago and I think you might like his song ( tried to give the link but it didn't accept it so look it up if you want)

Since turning in my twenties I don't relaynboice my concerns as I should. Guess my n.v pride tells me to.help other not get helped. Alot of my family have this mountain of pride and competitiveness. I wish I had an artistic touch to me. But I am a blunt instrument while other around me are fin pointed pens with the feather at the end. So I think your atong and creative and that makes you go far. So I should express myself and show other the real me. Crazy and all

Have you given any thought to writing your feelings down? A journal or blog? That helps me keep the demons of my personality at bay and keep my soul calm. You might try it. Not so everyone can read it. Just for you to unload what you're feeling about anything and everything. I think it would help.

Stupid post merge.....

6/1/2020
During these troubling times of COVID19 & protests with violence & murder hornets...it is difficult to imagine a world that will ever be the same again. Just not being able to hug people is nearly killing me. It actually made me cry in the middle of my work shift Saturday. It's been terribly hard on me. I don't like people but the ones I do care for, I have no way of visiting them or holding them and at this point, I don't know if I ever will again. Surely this COVID crap can't last forever. I don't know if I'll ever get to see my family again. My brother doesn't care. My parents are elderly so I don't dare risk dragging the germs of my work environment to them.
~~
Had to stop by the clinic to get my bloodwork done. If I don't get my act together and lose some weight, I'm gonna become diabetic. Or so they tell me. ~Rolls Eyes~ Not sure I believe them. I feel fine. If you're diabetic wouldn't you feel worse? I don't know.
~~
Have a great day all.

 

[MarciKS]

I have been struggling with depression lately that is pretty bad. May have to go see a psychologist. Been feeling unloved and unwanted and abandoned. I know it's not my imagination. Recently left Facebook and nobody seems to care. ~Shrugs~

 

[Joshua1]

View attachment 907

Sometimes in life some of us come upon a place in life where we are totally on our own. Most people have family and friends they can lean on. People to cheer them on in their struggles. For those of us who don't, life can be extremely painful and hard to manage. When someone has no one to turn to for support it can be a difficult reality to face.

Just getting out of bed and performing ones daily routine can be a struggle. Having to go to work and pretend to be ok when you really want to tell someone you're hurting. But you know they won't be there to be a shoulder. They'll toss out some quick phrase like "cheer up" or "things will get better."

Perhaps they will. But where does that leave you? Still sitting there trying to cope with everything inside of you that is coming to the surface with no where to go with it. I used to think that maybe others would have my back if I truly needed them. But I have found out, that is not the case. They have their own lives. They are not counselors, psychologists or psychiatrists. So expecting them to care seems a bit unfair to them. I will give them that. However, if they love or care for you like they say they do, I expect them to give a crap about my well being. Not ever having anyone to share anything with is a difficult path to walk. I decided to help myself by making a blog to put all my pain on in the form of music, images and words. This seems to have helped. It has been therapeutic for me. If you are like me and you have no outlet, perhaps consider making yourself one through art, music, writing...just whatever you can use to express the pain.

That is not true, there always be someone that cares about you and i. There might only be one person that would but there is always somebody. Depression is a mindset that causes people to believe in being alone. Its objective is negativity trying to make you want to end your life. There is a devil and people choose to worship him and he is destroying lives. I hate evil and i hate negativity. Repel this evil before it brings you to an all time low.