It's Getting Extreme...

[Rue]

since i was really young i've experienced really bad fright of movies, scary stories, etc

one time i listened to a group of scary stories and i literally had to sleep with my mom for the next two years and i've always been really bad with the dark, windows, claustrophobia, etc

it gets to the point where i'm afraid to have my back turned, i'm scared of windows, i'm scared of not having windows because of claustrophobia, i'm scared of the dark, scared of nightlights because of shadows, and i'm scared of having my eyes opened, closed, or even blinking. i'm just scared of living

and it's not just scary movies and such, but also recent news such as shootings, serial killers, etc

it's getting so extreme that i can't focus on anything and i just want to die to avoid it

i try telling myself it's not real, it's just my mind, etc, but (quote from jaidenanimations) "just because you know you're colorblind doesn't mean you can see the colors"

i've been scared and anxious for more of my life than i've been not

i want to change. i want to be normal. help me

 

[Mandah2386]

You really need to find someone to talk to. There is help. You do not have to feel like this. It is possible to feel normal. Go talk to your GP and they can help you.

 

[Kelculator]

I'm sorry to know. It really seems like you have anxiety troubles that intervenes with your daily life. Have you come to term about this with yourself?
Is it possible for you to access professional help? I highly recommend that. It's not that you are broken and need someone to fix you, but that someone can help , you don't have to do this alone.
You may soon recognize there is no "normal". You're you, and you will be more comfortable with that over time. We are here for you, anytime ,anytime.