It's always the quiet ones

[Unicorn Princess]

I am a newbie. I found my way here because I am suffering from increasing bouts of lashing out. I think I shock people because I am generally quiet, meek, mild and sweet. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, I try to find the good in people. I imagine an ideal world that is filled with courtesy, kindness, peace and love. When things go awry at work, I am fond of telling people "in the land of the unicorn things like this would not happen". I don't like confrontation, but as I get older it seems I am a bit unwilling to accept bad behavior or conditions. I came to the realization that although I vent WAY TOO MUCH to people I feel comfortable with.... my poor husband suffers the most from my venting, I rarely address an issue directly with the person I have a problem with. When I finally do....look out! It is generally not pretty because at this point I have had my fill of BS. Can bottling things up until an explosion actually be a form of anxiety? How can I work through this? I need to find a level of comfort to address things as they come in a reasonable manner with the person I have an issue with or someone that can address a situation evolving? Thanks everyone!

 

[Rinka]

Welcome @Unicorn Princess to the forum.
Avoidance of conflict can be part of social anxiety. If one avoids and not addresses problems, then the burst of negative feelings is almost inevitable. The difficulty with this kind of behaviour is, that the other person might not be aware that something is wrong. That they are doing something to annoy you. Therefore the explosion is being perceived as coming out of the blue.

 

[Unicorn Princess]

Thank you so much! That does make sense. I will research social anxiety more and think I will find that I have been suffering from this for years unknowingly. The puzzle pieces, finally coming together so I am very grateful to you.

 

[Rinka]

It’s funny how some behaviour that we always exhibited and had problems with can be explained with social or general anxiety. The good thing is, as soon as you are able to identify it and explain it, it becomes easier to work and deal with. Don’t get me wrong, having an anxiety disorder is not easy, but it helps to know, to have an diagnosis to finally start working on getting better.