Is your family understanding of what you're suffering from?

[Bea]

Both my biological parents are very wary around me whenever I mention my mental illnesses. A good percentage of the time, my mom insists that I'm only pretending and that I'm only seeking attention. My dad, on the other hand, insists that I need more Jesus in my life - but I'm agnostic.


My stepdad, on the other hand, has been nothing but understanding of my situation. Whenever I had a tough time at school, he had talks with my guidance counselor and my school psychologist to figure out what he can do. If I ever seemed down and out he would always listen patiently to my rants, even if I was sobbing really hard with snot running down my nose. He's just a good guy, and I have always appreciated his support.


What about you guys? Are your various family members supportive and understanding? Or are they dismissive of your problems?

 

[lexinonomous]

My mother used to blame my mental illness on hormones. She never encouraged me to see a doctor and made a point to tell me that it was a part of growing up. I do not hold it against her because as a teenager, you do experience a lot of similar feelings involving depression and anxiety. Looking back to this time in my life, I wish my mother would have noticed the tell tale signs of my mental illness, but I can't blame her. Things just seemed to pan out less than perfect.


My mother is pretty accepting of my mental illness as an adult. She has revealed to me that she regrets not listening to me and/or taking me seriously when I was younger, but she is glad that I have made the choice to get evaluated. She is very patient with me, as she suffers from anxiety as well. The only person that gives me trouble about my anxiety is my boyfriend, who doesn't understand how I'm feeling and believes I'm over exaggerating.

 

[WorkAtHomeGal]

I am glad you have someone at least showing some kind of support. I confronted my dad a year ago about built up anger towards him and how I felt his mistreatment towards me and my sister are a huge reason why I became how I am. These are issues I have yet to let go off. Sure I stopped thinking of them for a time but it didn't fix the situation. It wasn't just that though growing up around dysfunction, affairs and drugs was a bit to much and abuse. My mom tries to be understanding but sometimes goes off in a rant about how I don't need those pills. Admittedly I hate taking them but they helped a bit. And my dad just thinks I am foolish for feeling this way. A couple times he tried to show support but it back fired. My best friend and boyfriend try to show support too but both get angry with me easily.

 

[Jemina]

I don't really have that support from my family. They don't seem to really think I have anything to be depressed or anxious about when that simply isn't the case. I'm a carer for my mother because of her own mental health issues, as well as physical issues, and she seems to think that her problems are always thousands of times worse than mine are. She always says I'm exaggerating and yet I'm never allowed to say anything about her or the way she treats me because of her own issues. I have to be nothing but supportive. It can really get me down sometimes, especially when I have a lot of my own issues too.

 

[Alex]

It's a touchy subject as since I did reveal my depression, my parents told me there was a history of depression in the family but never to talk about it. As long as they understand and give me space I don't mind as they were the actual cause of the depression so I really don't want them to be too hands on. They would just make things worse and create triggers in my case.

 

[redpanda]

My mom is somewhat understanding now. She wasn't always understanding when I was younger but then she started suffering from anxiety issues herself. That made her change her mind. My dad, however, basically doesn't "believe in" mental illness. I honestly haven't talked to him about my bipolar disorder and anxiety issues. I really don't want to hear him tell me I have nothing to be sad about or that I need to "get over" my anxiety .

 

[bangtanboys]

It's more like my parents don't even know what I'm suffering because I know that if I told them they wouldn't understand. I'm Chinese, and it's not really in our people's cultures to express affection; the idea of feelings is like a foreign concept or something. Same goes for mental health. So whenever they are nagging at me over something trivial, I just kinda sorta grit my teeth and bear with it. Probably not the best way to deal, but I guess that's why I am here at this forum lol.

 

[aimeepoo]

My family is mostly understanding but when I was younger they really were not. My mom would get pretty mad at me and felt like I was maybe trying to get attention I think. She finally realized it was not a show and that I was genuinely having anxiety attacks. Now she is very understanding as is my grandma and my step dad. Some of the other family members just really don't talk much about it.

 

[rootle]

Not really no. They used to make fun of me without understanding the problem. One particular incident I remember was when I was to go on a car ride with a friend of mine from school. I was really nervous about them meeting her because I always find my parents to be a bit embarrassing and I feel awkward when they're around my friends. But they made every effort to joke about it and made jokes about how they would try to be as embarrassing as possible. I eventually got angry with them and was pretty rude, which made them angry and they started to tell me off. This was just so totally unfair because they were the ones who started messing with me first.

 

[pnx626]

I've had mixed reactions. My dad doesn't know, since we're not really close enough to talk about that stuff; but I've told my mom and she's been really supportive in general. She's good about some stuff, like lowering my class load to take some of the pressure off and seeking therapy but she's not the best when I want to talk about specific issues. My friends have been great though, especially since a lot of them have gone through some of the same stuff.

 

[taco]

My mom is supportive, but she still says stupid things and doesn't really understand what I deal with. My sister is also very supportive, even more so then my mom but she is my younger sis and we have always been tight. My grandparents (maternal) though, I unfortunately didn't have a great relationship with because I always felt like they looked down on me for having these little issues. They came from a day and age when you didn't see a doctor about mental things you just sucked it up and were miserable inside I guess. Ironically my mother had a brother that committed suicide so I believe there are some genetic mental issues on that side (maybe where I get my stuff from.)


Now my wife's side of the family, they are horribly unsupportive. I expect nothing and get nothing from them.

 

[listener1987]

My heart breaks when I hear that people suffering mental illnesses don't receive emotional or practical support from friends or family.


One thing I do know, is that my friends from/living in other countries experience a worse stigma than exists in the US.


Aside from one sister who believes I got bipolar disorder because I started taking birth control (an evil chemical my family is supportive and I'm pretty open with them! I wish everyone had a support like this, whether from a church, family, or friend group. I can honestly say I have always been accepted when I've opened up about my mental issues to someone. In fact, in many cases, the person will tell me they've struggled with something similar, or that someone close to them has struggled with the same thing.


The good thing is, even if your family and friends break your heart and don't try to understand, or tell you to snap out of it - you aren't alone with friends on this board =)

 

[djordjem87]

Nope. They are basically clueless and they couldn't care less then they actually do. I am not the kind of a person who likes to play victim so I always keep quiet about everything. I descend to my room and I avoid conflicts. They are basically a bunch of neurotic idiots excluding my mother from that. They are self absorbed and egocentric. When I am acting weird they look at me like, "Omg, you are again in that shitty state. We need you to produce some cash, wake the f**k up and go work." It is very frustrating actually and I can't wait to move from here. I am just waiting the right moment and I'm gone.

 

[Kosta]

My mother knows about the problems that I have had, but some older members of my family did not understand the illness very well. As I have seen in their faces, this problem was not very actual when they were young, and no one even knew anything about anxiety. My grandma would act as


"Do not be silly, you are a young boy and the whole life is ahead of you. And you will have a lot of time for worries, but it has not come yet."


She could not understand that anxiety was very often stronger than my free will, and that I could not do anything to change the fact.

 

[ErinPaige]

In all honesty, I've never told my mom about my anxiety or my depression...or any of my other issues, either. We have a history of mental issues in the family, however, it's a bit of a sensitive subject with my mom, so I never bring it up. She also seems to have the mindset that I'm "too young" to have any mental issues - or any health issues, for that matter. I would like to tell her... I'd like to tell my entire family, just to get it off my chest...but I'm not sure that they would be too supportive of it.

 

[thecorinthian]

When I was much younger my mother didn't believe me when I said I was sad or depressed. She'd just tell me to get over it and go get some sun. Puberty is hard on teens, she didn't really sympathize with me and the bullying just went on because no one knew I had deep anxieties as well. My dad doesn't care how I feel just that I graduate, get a good job and marry. As an adult, I think I've moved on from all that but I am talking to a friend about my problems in the past.

 

[rldonah]

To some extent. The one I would think would understand the most, is the one of the main ones telling me I should get over it. Gee, why hadn't I thought of that? There's always going to be people that love to tell you what you're doing wrong but don't offer any help or actual solutions. My anxiety has gotten worse as I've gotten older with more issues affecting my health and such. It's not easy to get close to me in general because I'm very reserved when it comes to my personal life, so if I do end up trusting someone and I get burned, that's pretty much it. It's not that I don't try anymore with that relationship. It's just not the same. I can forgive, but I can't forget, I guess you would say.

 

[KW2496]

My mom is really understanding, though sometimes I feel that she can't really understand because she doesn't deal with the same issues. My grandmother is the only other family member that I have really talked to about it, and although she tries to understand, she really doesn't. Sometimes it's a little frustrating talking to her because I can see that she really doesn't get it.

 

[17emilyhalko]

My mother was NEVER understanding with my mental illness. She always claimed that I was making things up when I had a problem. She would always tell me that I could go to her about anything, but then when I did, she was never supportive! She didn't believe that something was wrong until I attempted suicide one night and was rushed to the ER. I was placed in a mental institute for a week, and then was forced by state to go to a therapist. She only let me go to a therapist because she was forced to let me, not because she thought I needed help. She still never believes a thing, but its okay, because I've found my ways to cope, and I've found the friends that I can rely on when I'm down! I don't believe that parents always have to understand you, but I believe that its important that they stay respectful and listen and get help, even when they're in denial about it.

 

[stephonline]

My stepdad also says that I need more Jesus in my life and so does my boyfriend. He says that I need to believe in something higher and that might give me some inner peace. I am just trying to get the help that I need emotionally and want medical professions to help me. My mother tells me that I am just overreacting and she doesn't understand that she sometimes triggers me. I do not think that she realizes how much she makes me stress out.