Hi,
I am addicted person, who stopped taking drugs over 5 years ago. I finished therapy and have been seeing therapist since then. I've built my life from scratch, ended college, pursue professional career etc. I've always been fearful, my childhood was full of really sad and stressful situations. In my adult life I struggled with fear everyday, but its level was normal, managable. My whole sober life I wanted to achieve particular level of life quality. I thought that I can bend my boundries and achieve whatever I want. Suddenly, over month ago I was not able to function again. I was so sad and fearful that I couldn't handle even easy tasks at work. Next week I had buisness trip to another country for project kick-off. I was so afraid to go there, but again, I thought I could bend my feelings to what I need and agreed to go there. I was totally absent at meetings, I couldn't work. I was afraid that it would affect my position in company, so I wanted to find a quick solution for my fear problems. I've read on the internet that antihistamines had anti-depressive effect, so I went to chemist and bought a package of antihistamine drug. First day I took more pills than suggested for 24h in about 4-5h. I had mild heart paliptations, but I slept well. Next day I took normal daily dose. At the end of a day my mood started getting worse. At night I woke up frightened and couldn't think. I called my girlfriend, because I was so afraid of being in this state alone, far away from home. We talked all night, my heart was beating rapidly, I was so frightened. Next day I had another meeting and fortunately flight back home. My flight was horrible, I had to fly through 3 countries, because there were some delays. At the end I had to land in other city, because there was a mist over my home city. I had to wait for bus, which took me home. I thought I would go mad, my heart was beating so fast, I thought I will not handle it. When I was at home and tried to lie down, I woke up in fear and thought that I have heart attack. I was taken to hospital with heart rate 220/120. They gave me some pills and released me.
That's how it all started. I went to psychiatrist same day and he gave me a perscription for fluoxetine and some antipsychotics drugs. Next two weeks I called ambulance few times, because I thought I had heart attack and was going to different specialist on daily basis. I couldn't sleep for 4 nights and when I managed to sleep, the sleep was really weird, I didn't know if I'm sleeping or just lying. After about three weeks and medical examinations of my brain and heart, I managed to calm down a bit and my heart rate is ok now. In the meantime I stopped taking fluoxetine, because I thought it was the reason of my state. Now, it is over month after this situation and I still have major anxiety. When I wake up, I don't know what is real and what isn't. My memories are backed by fear, I feel like I've lost my personality. My body is tight, sometimes I feel like I will get paralised. I am complete mess and everyday I'm going through hell. I went to psychiatrist again yesterday and asked for another drugs. He persribed me paroxetine and benzodiazepines for two weeks.
My questions:
- Is it posibble that antihistamines stucked me in this state? Is it possible for a drug overdose effect to last so long?
- Is there on this forum any addicted person, who took benzodiazepines? I'm afraid that I will get addicted to them.
- Is there a person, who had simmilar effect after any antidepressant (fast hear-rate/ burning heart, extreme panic states etc.)? And if yes, did any other SSRI helped?
- Is it possible for this state to go away on it's own?
- Does anyone had same sleep problems? I mean, that you don't know if you are sleeping or not, there are no dreams and when you wake up, you don't know what is real and what is not.
Thanks for answers.
I am addicted person, who stopped taking drugs over 5 years ago. I finished therapy and have been seeing therapist since then. I've built my life from scratch, ended college, pursue professional career etc. I've always been fearful, my childhood was full of really sad and stressful situations. In my adult life I struggled with fear everyday, but its level was normal, managable. My whole sober life I wanted to achieve particular level of life quality. I thought that I can bend my boundries and achieve whatever I want. Suddenly, over month ago I was not able to function again. I was so sad and fearful that I couldn't handle even easy tasks at work. Next week I had buisness trip to another country for project kick-off. I was so afraid to go there, but again, I thought I could bend my feelings to what I need and agreed to go there. I was totally absent at meetings, I couldn't work. I was afraid that it would affect my position in company, so I wanted to find a quick solution for my fear problems. I've read on the internet that antihistamines had anti-depressive effect, so I went to chemist and bought a package of antihistamine drug. First day I took more pills than suggested for 24h in about 4-5h. I had mild heart paliptations, but I slept well. Next day I took normal daily dose. At the end of a day my mood started getting worse. At night I woke up frightened and couldn't think. I called my girlfriend, because I was so afraid of being in this state alone, far away from home. We talked all night, my heart was beating rapidly, I was so frightened. Next day I had another meeting and fortunately flight back home. My flight was horrible, I had to fly through 3 countries, because there were some delays. At the end I had to land in other city, because there was a mist over my home city. I had to wait for bus, which took me home. I thought I would go mad, my heart was beating so fast, I thought I will not handle it. When I was at home and tried to lie down, I woke up in fear and thought that I have heart attack. I was taken to hospital with heart rate 220/120. They gave me some pills and released me.
That's how it all started. I went to psychiatrist same day and he gave me a perscription for fluoxetine and some antipsychotics drugs. Next two weeks I called ambulance few times, because I thought I had heart attack and was going to different specialist on daily basis. I couldn't sleep for 4 nights and when I managed to sleep, the sleep was really weird, I didn't know if I'm sleeping or just lying. After about three weeks and medical examinations of my brain and heart, I managed to calm down a bit and my heart rate is ok now. In the meantime I stopped taking fluoxetine, because I thought it was the reason of my state. Now, it is over month after this situation and I still have major anxiety. When I wake up, I don't know what is real and what isn't. My memories are backed by fear, I feel like I've lost my personality. My body is tight, sometimes I feel like I will get paralised. I am complete mess and everyday I'm going through hell. I went to psychiatrist again yesterday and asked for another drugs. He persribed me paroxetine and benzodiazepines for two weeks.
My questions:
- Is it posibble that antihistamines stucked me in this state? Is it possible for a drug overdose effect to last so long?
- Is there on this forum any addicted person, who took benzodiazepines? I'm afraid that I will get addicted to them.
- Is there a person, who had simmilar effect after any antidepressant (fast hear-rate/ burning heart, extreme panic states etc.)? And if yes, did any other SSRI helped?
- Is it possible for this state to go away on it's own?
- Does anyone had same sleep problems? I mean, that you don't know if you are sleeping or not, there are no dreams and when you wake up, you don't know what is real and what is not.
Thanks for answers.