is it just me ??
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blueberries
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Me too, outside of family I literally have zero friends. I want to get a job, get out and make friends, etc, but my health issues are so bad that it's hard for me to leave my house most days. It is definitley one of the worse feelings in the world to be so alone when we are made to be with others.
Lanchparty7
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Not just you. I am having major work related issues that are difficult for me to handle and I could really use some advice/guidance about. Don’t have any friends…online or offline and my family members either just don’t understand or are too difficult to talk to. At least I have my therapist though. It is only one hour a week but it is better than nothing. And he doesn’t judge and just lets me vent.
I hope work gets better for you. It’s hard to make friends, you’re not alone in that thought. Hang in there and be kind/forgiving of yourself and try not to be embarrassed about being vulnerable sometimes while trying to meet potential friends.
I’m with you it feels the most alone feeling in the world. I have most amazing family but still feel lonely. Anxiety is the hardest thing I’m going through.
I feel the same I pray and pray for getting a job and when I do all my insecurities and low self esteem show up and derail the opportunity. I’m just want to be normal.
I’m struggling with the same. I haven’t been able to figure it out but working on it. I just started working with self affirmations doing them daily. I’m also realizing there’s no confidence no self esteem no self appreciation no self love etc it’s what is holding me back I’m always thinking at the job I’m in the way I’m slow I’m not good enough etc but if i look at the evidence I’m complete opposite. I’m having to constantly remind myself of how good I am. Easier said than done.
hope your okay! private message me if you need anything?
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Jonathan123
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There's loneliness and being alone. My wife would have been happy if you gave her a box of paints, a canvas and a desert island and leave her there. That was how she was. I would go crazy in that situation. Some of us are gregarious, some not. Making friends when we have anxiety is not easy, because mixing is a problem. Social anxiety can be as bad as any other form of that illness.
But we have to face the fact that friends won't come to us, we have to go to them, new friends that is. Very few understand what anxiety is like, even today when there is so much talk about it. When I had GAD many years ago I was considered odd, which did little for my self esteem!
Lanchparty7.
Self esteem and self confidence together with self worth always take a knock in anxiety. Lacking those virtues does not help in making friends. Self confidence and self worth are still there, but obscured by the anxiety. Everyone is worthy of respect and love. If we lack love in our lives then the loneliness can seem a lot worse. It's good you have a therapist you can get along with. That can be a big help in your situation. You may not feel it but you are unique. Among the billions on earth there is not another you. But with that realisation comes responsibilities. Kindness, empathy and love for our fellow humans is so important. It is very difficult to love some people, but it can be done. And if it is thrown back at you it is still worth while. That is not your problem any more, you have done your best. And that is all we can do, our best. If it's written on my tombstone, 'Well, he did his best', that would be good enough for me.
But we have to face the fact that friends won't come to us, we have to go to them, new friends that is. Very few understand what anxiety is like, even today when there is so much talk about it. When I had GAD many years ago I was considered odd, which did little for my self esteem!
Lanchparty7.
Self esteem and self confidence together with self worth always take a knock in anxiety. Lacking those virtues does not help in making friends. Self confidence and self worth are still there, but obscured by the anxiety. Everyone is worthy of respect and love. If we lack love in our lives then the loneliness can seem a lot worse. It's good you have a therapist you can get along with. That can be a big help in your situation. You may not feel it but you are unique. Among the billions on earth there is not another you. But with that realisation comes responsibilities. Kindness, empathy and love for our fellow humans is so important. It is very difficult to love some people, but it can be done. And if it is thrown back at you it is still worth while. That is not your problem any more, you have done your best. And that is all we can do, our best. If it's written on my tombstone, 'Well, he did his best', that would be good enough for me.
Help me understand what you mean. Are you making an effort at talking to people or is it too hard? Are you in groups and feel alone, or are you at home and feel alone? I think sometimes we feel alone because we are waiting for someone else to come to us, when what really has to happen is that we need to go to them! Reach out to them! And ask how they are doing, how they are feeling, and this way, we can begin to make connections, which is a good feeling!
He Man
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Good post..
I think we all need healthy doses of both to feel whole. We need to reach out and help others.. but we also need others to reach out and help us (without being prompted). If a person always has to do the reaching-out, or is only receiving help & never offering it.. I think it creates an uncomfortable imbalance in our lives. You gotta give and receive..
Jonathan123
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"Give, and it shall be given unto you, tamped down and running over". What we give out we get back. Like attracts like. If we are miserable and complaining all the time then we will attract like people, as poor old Job did in the Bible. He was surrounded by 'Job's comforters'. You know the ones I mean. 'You will never get well', 'it's in the family', 'You have to learn to put up with it'. RUBBISH!! Anxiety is definitely curable if you go about it in the right way. I have seen it happen time and again when counselling. Never give in but give up. Give up the fight and the struggle. This is not giving in to anxiety, because acceptance is the best action you can take. By doing nothing you are doing all you can.
I agree that we have to reach out to others and give it a try...they won't come to us. Ask a question: people love to talk about themselves.
Hi! How long have you been feeling this way? This sounds like a tough situation. How old are you?
Absolutely. Give and Receive. I think when we're anxious, we are in our heads and it's hard to get outside of ourselves and ask a question and consider the other person. We tend to get too wrapped up in our anxieties...
What kind of work-related issues? And is it too late at this time? How are you doing with it?
Hi! How long have you been feeling this way? This sounds like a tough situation. How old are you?
Hi! How long have you been feeling this way? This sounds like a tough situation. How old are you?
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Lanchparty7
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Well my work related issue has been somewhat resolved. Actually me playing the anxiety card is what did it. There is no way I could have handled the job they were trying to task me with and I played the anxiety card to my advantage. It is still not fully resolved though and I sense that things are going to get unpleasant again real soon. I did seek the advice of my therapist and he was able to help me navigate my way through things and I am not sure I could have done it without him.