In NY State, Anxious But Feel Numb and Keep Getting Sick

[chickentender]

I'm in NY state. Several loved ones are sick with covid19.
I am to the point where I no longer feel anxiety or panic. I sometimes feel depressed like everything makes me want to cry. But I can't cry. I don't feel too much of anything at the moment other than restlessness and helplessness.
I know the stress is there though because little things that go wrong with my body and make me feel sick keep popping up. For example, I get shingles sometimes on a patch of my skin when stressed and it's coming out now(and hurts a LOT).
This is just one of many things.
My tongue is swollen and sore underneath on one side and I realized that I have been suctioning it to my teeth on one side of my mouth out of stress until it's swollen and raw.
How do I even calm down when I am not actually even FEELING my anxiety right now?

 

[mollyfin]

I know how you feel in a way. NYC here. It's just like...I'm too tired to be anxious. But I try to think of it like, we got it right away so we don't have to sit at home waiting and wondering when it'll ramp up in our area. It already has. We got it early and we'll be among the first to flatten the curve. We're just getting it over with first.

IDK it makes me feel a little better. Some people have projected that the peak could be as soon as April 9th. I'm not sure if that's citywide or statewide, though. I don't really process that since in my case it's the same amount of relevance when it comes to COVID19! Whether it's city or state it applies to my situation! Regardless though I suspect a lot of cases in outer NY and Jersey are coming from here. When we have fewer, so will you guys.

 

[chickentender]

Yes, it would make me feel better, but I can't relax because so many I know are sick right now(also nyc). It's so stressful being support for them because they are all afraid obviously and the unknown is stressful to me also. My best friend keeps saying to me "I hope I don' t die". And the truth is, we don't know enough to know how it will go, I just keep telling her that most people do not die. That's what I'm telling myself too that I have to keep faith that they will be like most people.