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In a very bad place right now :(

Always_Scared

Always_Scared

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This is by far the worst I've ever been with my HA. I am now convinced for sure that I have cancer growing somewhere in my body and I've left it too late to get treated. I have a very extreme fear of going to the doctors and getting tests done.
For the last 2 weeks, I've been in bed only getting out to take my daughter to school. I am literally lying around waiting for my symptoms to get worse and wondering when I'm going to die. I can't even decide what cancer scares me the most any more. I have them all. I have symptoms of throat, colon, stomach, ovarian, thyroid and oral cancer at the moment. But I'm also terrified of kidney, liver, pancreas, breast cancer
I just can't snap out of it. Getting older with HA is soooo much worse than having it when you're in your 20s and 30s. The odds are against me now and this scares me crazy.
 
W

Worryworm

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Always_Scared, I'm so sorry to hear this. I agree it is scarier having HA when you are older...I'm in my 40s...I was just thinking this morning that I probably have a huge tumor in my body and there is nothing they can do for me...so you're not alone...I constantly obsess and its so maddening because we should be out living our lives and enjoying all that we have...Have you had HA for a long time?
 
matisworried

matisworried

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ANYONE is going to have "symptoms" of cancer if they spend all of their time and energy focusing on every single sensation happening in their bodies. i know it's hard to accept, but without knowing much about your specific symptoms, it's likely a lot of what you're experiencing is exaggerated due to your anxiety if not straight up caused by it. of the symptoms that ARE legit, they're probably explained by other benign and minor causes.

i'm not saying this to be dismissive. if i were to indulge my cancer worries, i show signs of pancreatic, kidney, bowl and esophageal cancer RIGHT NOW. do i have any of those? nah, probably not. what are the odds, anyway? SLIM... and i don't have time to worry about "slim..."

and either do you!
 
T

Trunchbee

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Always_Scared said:
This is by far the worst I've ever been with my HA. I am now convinced for sure that I have cancer growing somewhere in my body and I've left it too late to get treated. I have a very extreme fear of going to the doctors and getting tests done.
For the last 2 weeks, I've been in bed only getting out to take my daughter to school. I am literally lying around waiting for my symptoms to get worse and wondering when I'm going to die. I can't even decide what cancer scares me the most any more. I have them all. I have symptoms of throat, colon, stomach, ovarian, thyroid and oral cancer at the moment. But I'm also terrified of kidney, liver, pancreas, breast cancer
I just can't snap out of it. Getting older with HA is soooo much worse than having it when you're in your 20s and 30s. The odds are against me now and this scares me crazy.
Click to expand...
I hope that you find some peace in knowing you’re not alone in your fears. As much as they are scary, some tests and a conversation with your doctor might help put your mind at ease for a little bit
 
M

Ms.Honey

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Always_Scared said:
This is by far the worst I've ever been with my HA. I am now convinced for sure that I have cancer growing somewhere in my body and I've left it too late to get treated. I have a very extreme fear of going to the doctors and getting tests done.
For the last 2 weeks, I've been in bed only getting out to take my daughter to school. I am literally lying around waiting for my symptoms to get worse and wondering when I'm going to die. I can't even decide what cancer scares me the most any more. I have them all. I have symptoms of throat, colon, stomach, ovarian, thyroid and oral cancer at the moment. But I'm also terrified of kidney, liver, pancreas, breast cancer
I just can't snap out of it. Getting older with HA is soooo much worse than having it when you're in your 20s and 30s. The odds are against me now and this scares me crazy.
Click to expand...
I just wanted to tell you how much I can relate to your post. I’m so sorry. ❤
 
Jgriffin

Jgriffin

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Always_Scared said:
This is by far the worst I've ever been with my HA. I am now convinced for sure that I have cancer growing somewhere in my body and I've left it too late to get treated. I have a very extreme fear of going to the doctors and getting tests done.
For the last 2 weeks, I've been in bed only getting out to take my daughter to school. I am literally lying around waiting for my symptoms to get worse and wondering when I'm going to die. I can't even decide what cancer scares me the most any more. I have them all. I have symptoms of throat, colon, stomach, ovarian, thyroid and oral cancer at the moment. But I'm also terrified of kidney, liver, pancreas, breast cancer
I just can't snap out of it. Getting older with HA is soooo much worse than having it when you're in your 20s and 30s. The odds are against me now and this scares me crazy.
Click to expand...
When I was in your position I would tell myself listen if I truely have limited time to live im going to live to my fullest. Why waste my last weeks or months laying in bed waiting for death to hit. You don't have cancer, your not ill. What you are is healthy and just like all of us on this board someone who is having minor normal medical issues here and there and treating it like a death sentence. You're capable of overcoming this. We all do everyday. You're just In a deep hole right now. Make the most of today because no day is promised to the sick or the healthy. This will pass
 
S

simplify456

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Trunchbee said:
That’s not really the point of her post. She’s looking for support for the dark thought and the fear she’s feeling
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I understand. Sometimes, saying it as it is habitually is what helps. I only mean well.
 
B

bigjetplane6

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Always_Scared said:
This is by far the worst I've ever been with my HA. I am now convinced for sure that I have cancer growing somewhere in my body and I've left it too late to get treated. I have a very extreme fear of going to the doctors and getting tests done.
For the last 2 weeks, I've been in bed only getting out to take my daughter to school. I am literally lying around waiting for my symptoms to get worse and wondering when I'm going to die. I can't even decide what cancer scares me the most any more. I have them all. I have symptoms of throat, colon, stomach, ovarian, thyroid and oral cancer at the moment. But I'm also terrified of kidney, liver, pancreas, breast cancer
I just can't snap out of it. Getting older with HA is soooo much worse than having it when you're in your 20s and 30s. The odds are against me now and this scares me crazy.
Click to expand...
What makes you think you currently have those symptoms, diseases? What are your symptoms?
 
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