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I'm ruining my marriage

Joined
Dec 7, 2018
Messages
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0
#1
Hi, I'm new here. So here is the deal, yesterday I was to fly out with my wife who I've been married to for 6 months to go visit her family on the other side of the usa. We were going to take a red eye flight which I'd never done before. About 2 hours before our flight, I told her I can't do this. I was not only having a fear of flying 5 hours but also the fear of having to be social with her family.

I feel bad because as her husband should be with her on all this. I am not normally afraid to fly and have flown many times. Why didn't I make it? Why didn't I tough it out and resist these feelings? I don't get it. I don't get anxiety on a daily basis and am normally pretty comfortable with myself. My point is, I want to prepare myself for her high school reunion that she has coming up in which I desperately want to be there for that one which will be in June next year.

Can someone please give me their advice? Thanks.
 

triceps

Active Member
Joined
Aug 7, 2018
Messages
499
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212
#2
Hi, I'm new here. So here is the deal, yesterday I was to fly out with my wife who I've been married to for 6 months to go visit her family on the other side of the usa. We were going to take a red eye flight which I'd never done before. About 2 hours before our flight, I told her I can't do this. I was not only having a fear of flying 5 hours but also the fear of having to be social with her family.

I feel bad because as her husband should be with her on all this. I am not normally afraid to fly and have flown many times. Why didn't I make it? Why didn't I tough it out and resist these feelings? I don't get it. I don't get anxiety on a daily basis and am normally pretty comfortable with myself. My point is, I want to prepare myself for her high school reunion that she has coming up in which I desperately want to be there for that one which will be in June next year.

Can someone please give me their advice? Thanks.
Hi jester. My thought is that the interactions with her folks was what was making you so anxious. I'd suggest you make a visit to your doctor and explain what you just went through. There are many medications for what I see as situational anxiety, that can help you get over the hump at the time of the stressful event. I had a similar problem and ended up not going to my father-in-laws' funeral. Didn't gain any fans within my wifes' family for that. Welcome and good luck.
 

Chris

Active Member
Joined
Aug 9, 2018
Messages
169
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52
#3
Hi, I'm new here. So here is the deal, yesterday I was to fly out with my wife who I've been married to for 6 months to go visit her family on the other side of the usa. We were going to take a red eye flight which I'd never done before. About 2 hours before our flight, I told her I can't do this. I was not only having a fear of flying 5 hours but also the fear of having to be social with her family.

I feel bad because as her husband should be with her on all this. I am not normally afraid to fly and have flown many times. Why didn't I make it? Why didn't I tough it out and resist these feelings? I don't get it. I don't get anxiety on a daily basis and am normally pretty comfortable with myself. My point is, I want to prepare myself for her high school reunion that she has coming up in which I desperately want to be there for that one which will be in June next year.

Can someone please give me their advice? Thanks.
Have you explained all of this to your wife? I'm sure if you told her what you just told us, she would have the heart to understand. Also it's hard for someone who doesn't have anxiety/social anxiety to understand, so don't be discouraged if she tries to brush it off as you having jitters or something. (Happens to me a lot) Let your wife in on how you're feeling... communication will help :)

If that doesn't work, then let us know what went wrong.

Good Luck!
 

Rinka

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 3, 2016
Messages
720
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261
#4
I agree with @Chris, tell your wife how you have felt, how it was for you and how you are trying to work on yourself to make it to her reunion. I bet she will understand and might even be a support for you to get through those situations.
 
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