I'm feeling stuck

[betteranon98]

Hey everyone, I'm new to this forum thing. Anyways about five years ago, I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and its been rough ever since. I actually ended up getting married to a man in the military and even though we're both young, I was really excited to start my new journey in life. Except I didn't realize how many social interactions you have to have being married to someone in the military. It's every single day. And we both live on a military base, where he makes tons of friends while I am more introverted. He recently met this couple that have been inviting us over like twice a week! And my husband and I work different days so we pretty much never spend any time together except for when we go over to this couples house. At first, I was very surprised at how good I did with meeting the other couple. I normally have a difficult time going over to someone's house and meeting them, especially with social anxiety, but I did fine. This past month since meeting them we hung out pretty much twice a week. However, I was hopeful too soon. Yesterday they told us to come over and then when we got there. They "surprised us" and told us that we were actually all going to be hanging out at another couples house that lives right next door to them and I suddenly thought I was going to have a panic attack. I tried to keep it together but soon after meeting the new couple, I pretended to "not be feeling good" (which is a classic way I get out of social interactions). Meanwhile, I went home and my husband stayed to continue having a good time and to drink. I guess I feel like he doesn't understand what I am feeling. He doesn't realize that just interacting at work daily is tiring and then to have to go home and go out with these new friends of ours is hard. I wish he would just experience a minute of the mess in my head. Then, he would understand that socializing feels like I'm going to war in my body. I don't know, internet. I'm feeling incredibly lonely. I haven't even really talked to my husband in depth about how I am feeling, so it sucks to feel like I am weighed down by this big huge secret all the time. I honestly think that I dive head first into hanging out with these couples when I should realize that it's okay to say no to hanging out. Is there any advice out there on how to tell someone you love what is going on with you? (For those wondering why I would get married to someone that doesn't know me, thats not true. He knows everything else about myself and we have already been married for three years. I just have been telling him that I have anxiety, not necessarily social anxiety). Also, do any of you guys out there have any good coping mechanisms that might help? I have taken Zoloft before and it did help but I felt zombie-ish, so I got off of it. I feel like I'm suffering so much and I keep pretending everyday that I am not having a mental breakdown.
I also feel as if I should mention that I have physical symptoms when I'm in social situations. Like, when I said that I pretended, "not to feel good," I really didn't feel good. I felt sick to my stomach and I felt like I was going to have diarrhea, but I know deep down that the minute I leave the stressful social situation, I will feel okay. I literally work myself into a stomachache. It's horrible and I don't know why it only happens in certain situations. I also get really shaky, light-headed, heart palpitations, sweaty, and overall feel sick. Does that happen to anyone else? Do you feel like you are either going to vomit everywhere or have explosive diarrhea?

 

[Joshua1]

Its simply you get nervous around people. This is extremely normal. The more you communicate with people in person (only) the less problematic social situations will be for you. Practice makes perfect.