im done..... rant

[imsotired]

Im so done with life. today I went to get my lunch , and the guy serving me i believe was mocking me with a very stern look ( i know that sounds weird to say). whenever I am out, I feel like I have a sad look on my face and a very serious/ stern look . there was anothercustumer coming so he put the food on the counter and served the next custumer which I found to be very rude. he said thankyou but it felt like he didnt even mean it and rushed to help the other customer.

back track to last tuesday, II was catching the bus to and from psychology. where they both looked at me. the second bus driver gave me a look which I percieved as a death/ bored stare. I said thankyou to him when i got of the bus and he didnt say anything( I got off in the front section of the bus.

I have anxiety which I know I'll never get rid off but Im trying to work past it.

I have shortness of breath which makes it hard to talk sometimes. the sad truth of this world or atleast what I think is that we make judgements on people by what we see and not really whats beneath the surfuce.

Also It was kinda embarresing today because when I reach the door which leads back to my apartment, the key wouldnt fit in the lock. so i said to myself "i have to go back the otherside but didnt want too cus i was crying from what happened at the sushi place. then someone opened the door not knowing I was there.

My knees trembled I probably shouldnt have said this outloud "i couldve have a seizure!" and they looked at me.

so yeah Im not going to lash out at people. have any of you guys had this problem?

God is testing me hard right now

love to hearfrom you

 

[He Man]

Im so done with life. today I went to get my lunch , and the guy serving me i believe was mocking me with a very stern look ( i know that sounds weird to say). whenever I am out, I feel like I have a sad look on my face and a very serious/ stern look . there was anothercustumer coming so he put the food on the counter and served the next custumer which I found to be very rude. he said thankyou but it felt like he didnt even mean it and rushed to help the other customer.

back track to last tuesday, II was catching the bus to and from psychology. where they both looked at me. the second bus driver gave me a look which I percieved as a death/ bored stare. I said thankyou to him when i got of the bus and he didnt say anything( I got off in the front section of the bus.

I have anxiety which I know I'll never get rid off but Im trying to work past it.

I have shortness of breath which makes it hard to talk sometimes. the sad truth of this world or atleast what I think is that we make judgements on people by what we see and not really whats beneath the surfuce.

Also It was kinda embarresing today because when I reach the door which leads back to my apartment, the key wouldnt fit in the lock. so i said to myself "i have to go back the otherside but didnt want too cus i was crying from what happened at the sushi place. then someone opened the door not knowing I was there.

My knees trembled I probably shouldnt have said this outloud "i couldve have a seizure!" and they looked at me.

so yeah Im not going to lash out at people. have any of you guys had this problem?

God is testing me hard right now

love to hearfrom you

Sorry to hear about your suffering.
And yeah, I have days similar to these.. I'm completely on edge, and I basically don't wanna be around people. Sometimes I force myself to get out there & do what I have to.. and sometimes I just take a day off from work and/or socializing etc.

I tend to agree with your sentiment, that the experience of anxiety is a challenge from God. (Everything in God's creation seems to be engineered for purpose, so i assume anxiety is not completely random or without some value). But often, I'm not sure what the specific lesson is from this anxiety test..

 

[MATD]

Why think God is testing you like that. I can assure you that God does not operate that way. What you experience is just a result of anxiety. Nothing more. If you haven’t tried Dr Claire Weekes’ acceptance method for anxiety, you should. My own experience with the method has been life changing so far and I’m nowhere near full recovery yet. I’ve got 63 years of anxiety and depression to recover from so for me, yes, it’s been a Godsend. Literally. It’s not a quick fix but it will help you get that anxiety under control. It is possible. God loves you, He operates with compassion and love unless a person needs to be corrected for wrong doing. And even then, His correction is based on His love. He understands that everything you are going thru is because of anxiety. He would not compound your problem by expecting more from you than you have to give. Anxiety is something we caused to develop thru our own lack of self confidence and many other factors. It is not a condition God sent you to endure. But He is waiting on you to look to Him for the answers.