Ignoring overbearing know it alls

[Alex]

How do you cope with them and can you spot them? In life I have learned to be humble, only to offer advice or an opinion when asked and to to listen. This applies online and offline, as I find some people (mainly millenials, sorry to generalize) that do feel they know it all and start sprouting advice unasked for and often are things people already know, but they like to hear the sound of their own voice or ego.


It does irritate me to be honest, but I have learned to ignore them because they are not doing it to help, but to make themselves look better. One day they will realize that modesty is respected and the know it all and overbearing attitude is frowned upon and won't win them any friends or get them anywhere in life.


You spot them when they give advice in a bullet form, quotes others, and proffer ways on how things should be done. Often when I see/hear this I have to either leave or put the person on ignore and then find other people have felt the same way. Quite simply, they think they are helping when no help was asked for and instead come across as arrogant.

 

[Zeesi]

I've come across a few people like these you speak of here, and one thing I've learned is that I'd rather not engage such a person/people. It is a waste of time for the most part. Some people just want to disagree with you just for the sake of disagreeing, and most of the time what they are saying doesn't even make sense.


One can only hope that they will learn the error of their ways and become more modest with time, but I have known older people who know it all as well, unfortunately the ego-trip doesn't go away as one ages.

 

[Ashley0323]

I actually find it hard to ignore the overbearing know-it- alls. I actually feel as if I have to let them know my opinion and what I am thinking at the time. I am not a judgemental person, but if someone decided to do so with me or my family, then yes, I do unleash a little bit.

 

[HappyKoi]

Sometimes you just have to smile and nod, and then roll your eyes and laugh to your friends when they go. Some people do think they know better, some are on a power trip, and some just want to be helpful, but they don't quite know how to be. Everyone may give advice, but precious little of it is going to be wanted, welcome, or correct. I do have one piece of advice, and I am going to use quotes, but the fabulous RuPaul said it best: "If they ain't paying your bills, pay them bitches no mind."

 

[cyclistbabe]

My biggest pet peeve is someone who LOVES to tell other people they are wrong, and doesn't even try to do it in a gentle way. Ironically, people who are overtly arrogant about their intelligence actually turn out to be pretty average in that department. I just try and remember that and it usually bolsters my patience.

 

[lexinonomous]

I deal with an overbearing know it all, five days a week. She is by far the most overwhelming person I've been around. On top of her knowing the answer to everything, she is also a very big crybaby. She will find a reason to cry over everything and not just sulk- actual tears throughout class. It's aggravating when there are other people in class dealing with the same issues that she is facing. I find that the best way to deal with this is to pretend she isn't in the room. As much as it upsets her, she eventually caves and leaves the room.


Arguing with someone that claims to know the answer to everything never works out. They tend to be persistent in their facts and try their best to shut you down. Being shut down by someone that persistent can take a huge toll on self confidence, so I find it best to just walk away. There is no arguing with an overbearing know it all.

 

[Alex]

I deal with an overbearing know it all, five days a week. She is by far the most overwhelming person I've been around. On top of her knowing the answer to everything, she is also a very big crybaby. She will find a reason to cry over everything and not just sulk- actual tears throughout class. It's aggravating when there are other people in class dealing with the same issues that she is facing. I find that the best way to deal with this is to pretend she isn't in the room. As much as it upsets her, she eventually caves and leaves the room.
Arguing with someone that claims to know the answer to everything never works out. They tend to be persistent in their facts and try their best to shut you down. Being shut down by someone that persistent can take a huge toll on self confidence, so I find it best to just walk away. There is no arguing with an overbearing know it all.

I've worked with some people like that too and it's such hard work to keep quiet. Often I find I am not the only one that feels that way, so I feel it's not just me. You are right in not bothering to argue with a know it all, and I have cut some friends off because it was too much of a drain on my mental energy and patience. The thing is most don't realize and alienate people instead. A few friends that I have felt I could say something to I have done, or just challenged them and some did back down as they know I am clever than they are and wouldn't say things without a valid reason or evidence.


I just find it a mental drain though, and arrogance and ego doesn't make for fun or interesting company.

 

[listener1987]

You spot them when they give advice in a bullet form, quotes others, and proffer ways on how things should be done. Often when I see/hear this I have to either leave or put the person on ignore and then find other people have felt the same way. Quite simply, they think they are helping when no help was asked for and instead come across as arrogant.

Aw, shoot!


I offer advice in bullet form (because it makes everything tidier, and if I learned one thing when getting my English degree, it's that your goal is to make content as clear and simple as possible.)


And I quote others when it's helpful (I hope it's okay that I quoted you here, I just wanted to be clear what I was responding to)


...and when people ask for advice and I feel I'm qualified to answer, I do offer ways on how things should be done.


I wasn't aware that I was being an overbearing know it all! (Oh and to add to my crimes, I am a millennial!) One day, like you say, maybe I will learn my lesson.


It's great that you are able to be so humble in life! Kudos!


My qualifications are different. For one, I try not to call people names, even when I don't like them.


I do agree, it's super annoying when someone just offers you advice when you weren't asking for it! I'm a listener at 7 Cups of Tea, which is a site where people who need to talk to someone, can talk to someone. We're not licensed (we just take a short little "course" to become "certified.") And one thing they teach us is that our role is to listen - not to offer advice. I try to empathize and mirror, and only ask for advice when it's offered. But sometimes I probably fail. Must be the bullet points!

 

[Panic57]

I think most of the overbearing know it alls fall into two categories. They either have a complex of some sort were they either need to prove to everyone and themselves that they are smart and clever or they need your attention on them because they need to be useful. Or they only know how to communicate that way. I had one manager who was that way and I found out by her former classmate that she was basically a nerd throughout high school and didn't really socialize. So she only knew how to talk to people by spitting out information. So while it's overbearing, it's an attempt to have a social interaction.


Then again there are just some places like the comment section of Youtube and most social medias where most interactions are argumentative. On some level, most of them are trolls who can't vent their frustration at their tiny lives in their life so they take it out on you. But some people just want verbally argue over petty things because it's fun instead of tame polite conversation. So I mind it less on social media because that's part of the experience.

 

[KW2496]

I've met many people like that over the years. I've found it easiest to just not associate with them. If someone irritates me for whatever reason, I feel it's just not worth my time to deal with. In some cases though, I find it humorous and am able to look past it or even call them out on it. I have several friends like this because I'm fine calling them out and they know when to cut back. I also have several family members like this though, which is a little more difficult to deal with. I usually just try to see them for short periods of time when I do see them.

 

[rz3300a]

Well I try to ignore anyone that has even the slightest of traits of people like this. They are certainly out there too, and I am not sure if it is a coincidence that they always seem to be at work, at last in my experiences. Maybe that atmosphere just lends itself to the sorts of know-it-all types that we have here. I would like to think that over the years I have gotten pretty good at sniffing them out, but you never really know and they can be sneaky. Interesting stuff, and thanks for sharing.

 

[GrubbyRose]

A relative of mine is like this. He is an expert on everything, and his was is the only right way according to him. He will insist on taking over something I am working on, even when I did not ask for his advice or help. We recently got into it over an automotive repair I was doing. I used to put up with him, but now days I just tell him to leave me alone.