I'm so deep in this hole I think I just spotted the hypnotized guy from Get Out.
I've freaked myself about inflammatory breast cancer so badly that I've had freakouts over both boobs for different things (IBC is usually a one-sided problem). I've settled down a little bit and am back to worrying about just the one, but it's been that kind of day.
I've made an appointment with a dermatologist - I need to do a follow-up anyway, and hopefully she'll have some knowledge even though it's not technically a skin disease? If not I'm seeing my GP in like three weeks.
I'm scared. I'm doing the whole "Well you've done everything you can, if you get lucky you'll hear some good news soon." Worrying changes nothing, and whatever it is, I have no choice but to deal with it. All the usual stuff.
But this is so discouraging. I haven't been doing well for a while; COVID isolation hasn't been great for me. I've gone through fears about COVID (I mean that one makes some sense at least; I live in New York City and we got knocked around pretty badly by it; ended up getting a chest xray for a cough; it came back clear; this was before you could get COVID testing without basically knowing you had it; it cleared up on its own in a few weeks), leukemia (I still seem to be bruising/bleeding way more than normal and taking ages to heal, but my blood counts were normal, so who knows), ovarian cancer (UTI), brain cancer (best theory is stress brought migraines back) and now this.
And I feel so sure that this is it. That for once I've found the real problem. I'm convinced that I JUST KNOW this is what I have. For the fifth time in eight months.
I'm exhausted. I can't go on like this. If I don't have IBC, I hope I can figure out what I need to do to change. But I feel like trying to do so is hopeless. I always seem to end up back here in this hole.
I've freaked myself about inflammatory breast cancer so badly that I've had freakouts over both boobs for different things (IBC is usually a one-sided problem). I've settled down a little bit and am back to worrying about just the one, but it's been that kind of day.
I've made an appointment with a dermatologist - I need to do a follow-up anyway, and hopefully she'll have some knowledge even though it's not technically a skin disease? If not I'm seeing my GP in like three weeks.
I'm scared. I'm doing the whole "Well you've done everything you can, if you get lucky you'll hear some good news soon." Worrying changes nothing, and whatever it is, I have no choice but to deal with it. All the usual stuff.
But this is so discouraging. I haven't been doing well for a while; COVID isolation hasn't been great for me. I've gone through fears about COVID (I mean that one makes some sense at least; I live in New York City and we got knocked around pretty badly by it; ended up getting a chest xray for a cough; it came back clear; this was before you could get COVID testing without basically knowing you had it; it cleared up on its own in a few weeks), leukemia (I still seem to be bruising/bleeding way more than normal and taking ages to heal, but my blood counts were normal, so who knows), ovarian cancer (UTI), brain cancer (best theory is stress brought migraines back) and now this.
And I feel so sure that this is it. That for once I've found the real problem. I'm convinced that I JUST KNOW this is what I have. For the fifth time in eight months.
I'm exhausted. I can't go on like this. If I don't have IBC, I hope I can figure out what I need to do to change. But I feel like trying to do so is hopeless. I always seem to end up back here in this hole.