F*ckAnxiety
New Member
- Joined
- Sep 1, 2019
- Messages
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Big hello from New Zealand to my fellow anxiety warriors.
I have suffered from anxiety (predominantly health anxiety) for half my life which sounds like a lot however i'm only 24.
The past month has been extremely difficult for me and im nearing my wits end with suicide becoming a more and more attractive solution.
I am going to paste a timeline/ diary of what i've been experiencing in hope that someone here has similar experiences.
It makes for pretty crappy reading but i hope that someone reading finds some peace as well as I if experiences are similar.
I have written the following timeline to ensure I am able to express everything I have been experiencing since the 2/8/2019. I hope this information is enough of a template to begin extracting a diagnosis from.
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2/8/2019
-Near death boating experience which included extremely low temperatures for an extended length of time.
-Strangulation from a friend under the influence (index finger rammed forcibly into around my right trachea)
9/8/2019
-Begun to worry about the sensations in my throat
-Started forcibly feeling around the affected area.
-Began to feel:
-In my panic, I ran next door and asked the neighbour to take me down to ED.
-I was sent away from ED with some bruising to my pride and a vivid memory of what ‘felt’ like a near death experience.
ED diagnosis- Panic attack
10/8/2019-14/8/2019
-Was unable to work during this period.
-Was in a constant state of anxiety about any organic issues causing persistent physical symptoms since the initial trip to ED.
-Physical symptoms include:
-Seeked reassurance via after hours GPs my regular GP and another trip to ED
-GP requested:
-Results for all of the above came back as normal.
GP diagnosis - Anxiety / Mental Trauma / Some swelling in neck.
15/8/2019-16/8/2019
-Able to return to work for some hours after requesting to be placed alongside a colleague at all times.
-Anxiety and excessive worry continued to be significant.
-Physical symptoms persisted, at times causing extreme fatigue and numbness.
-Eventually at work on the 16th these symptoms were so bad I was taken to the after hours GP.
-Without realising at the time, these symptoms were exacerbated by heavy breathing during the prolonged panic.
-I collapsed in the foyer of the GP where I was put on to a bed and had an ESG done (checked out normal).
Diagnosis -Panic attack
17/8/2019 - 19/8/2019
-Another trip to doctor
diagnosis-anxiety
-Anxiety continuing mood lowering exponentially.
-Physical symptoms persisting.
20/8/2019
-Went to pick up dinner after work.
-Entered the van and had a hot sensation in the affected neck area.
-Legs began to be painful, I went dizzy and lightheaded, numbness especially of head and limbs as panic set in.
-I recognised the panic and took 2x diazepam
-It took 40 minutes before I was able to drive home
21/8/2019- 26/8/2019
-3 more trips to the doctors in disbelief that there is nothing organically wrong.
GPs diagnosis -Anxiety / Trauma/ (after mentioning my concerns)- probably Glossopharyngeal neuralgia/ possibility of vagus nerve damage but no treatment.
-Was prescribed sodium valproate and ordered to increase my mirtazapine by the doctor on Friday, however hesitant to do so before seeing Dr Gareth.
-Anxiety continues however not as debilitating as previous.
-Feeling helpless as I still have no other explanation besides ‘anxiety’.
-My mood is reaching new lows as the continued uncertainty, potential for panic attacks and physical symptoms are preventing me from doing many everyday tasks and activities.
-Physical symptoms persisting- Especially :
27/8/2019
Anxiety is not as high as previous days due to comfort in knowing I have an appointment tomorrow with Dr Gareth.
-Dr rang me up regarding my concerns about potential vagus nerve issues.
Dr said if there is issues it could be causing a slower than normal heartbeat.
Dr prescribed me a salmeterol inhaler which would increase adrenaline for 12 hours to see if it eases the weakness.
Dr said what happens if damaged it over produces the inverse chemical of adrenaline causing symptoms synonymous with my symptoms.
Dr said this will help to identify the cause, however there is no treatment.
-Symptomatic periods in late morning.
-Took the salmeterol
-Periods of weakness but seemed not so significant in afternoon - I will need to repeat this over the next week to see if this is actually helping.
-5:30, physical symptoms set in strongly- Possibly, the extra adrenaline used up before 5 due to physical labor?
28/8/2019
Had a meeting with Dr gareth (physiatrist)
The meeting went well besides my anxiety preventing me from getting everything i wanted out, anticipating this I printed out this to give him to read.
He told me I have severe anxiety
Was prescribed a months worth diazepam
Ended up having a panic attack towards the end of the appointment - felt extreme numbness in head, cold legs and some weakness.
29/8/2019 - 30/8/2019
2 more large panic attacks with multiple periods of constant high anxiety levels.
Panic attacks seem to be triggered by the seemingly not related sudden numbness and weakness.
31/8/2019
Anxiety levels high even when taking a regular dose of diazepam.
Still have constant weakness especially down right hand side.
Functional limb weakness brought on by fatigue and /or panic attacks?
Have sudden belts of weakness .
I have a sharp pain in my neck which is probably from constantly feeling around
I also have a lump and pain in right jaw near the joint but behind the bone.
Everytime I stretch my neck out and feel the pain everything goes jelly all of a sudden weakness in legs and arms and numbness all over especially head.This seems to happen before I have any physiological changes from the panic, which appears to follow the numbness and weakness.
The subsequent anxiety / panic is what everyone sees.
Could the nerves be damaged enough to produce these feelings?
Could a branch of the vagus nerve be producing this?
The X-ray results said there was some inflammation.
Where was this inflammation and could it be nerve related.
Would a CT scan of neck and jaw pick up any issues?
1/9/2019
Pain in neck persisting
Am trying to not take any diazepam today to see if it helps.
Sudden weakness where I feel like I need to get up and walk which is happening since the beginning of this timeline.
Nerve damage to vagus?
Sudden dissociation?
-My (definitely naive) potential self diagnoses
Physical :
Mental:
I can admit that the symptoms emanated from my original trip to ED which likely points to this physiological event as the origin of all my symptoms. However, In my eyes the physical symptoms and anxiety issues are largely their own entities thus I am still doubtful that my physical symptoms can be solely explained via the umbrella of anxiety.
I am anxious to speak with a specialist regarding my vagus nerve concerns as I am too afraid to do any more research since stumbling across the quote I mentioned above.
Ultimately, I am wanting an answer as to why I keep having spells of fatigue, weakness, numbness and discoordination as i find this to be most alarming.
If in fact there is no organic cause, I feel as though I need convincing psychological reason(s) that explain my ongoing physiological and physical experiences before I can begin to recover.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you managed to get to the end of this, Thank you and please feel free to provide any insights.
I have suffered from anxiety (predominantly health anxiety) for half my life which sounds like a lot however i'm only 24.
The past month has been extremely difficult for me and im nearing my wits end with suicide becoming a more and more attractive solution.
I am going to paste a timeline/ diary of what i've been experiencing in hope that someone here has similar experiences.
It makes for pretty crappy reading but i hope that someone reading finds some peace as well as I if experiences are similar.
I have written the following timeline to ensure I am able to express everything I have been experiencing since the 2/8/2019. I hope this information is enough of a template to begin extracting a diagnosis from.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2/8/2019
-Near death boating experience which included extremely low temperatures for an extended length of time.
-Strangulation from a friend under the influence (index finger rammed forcibly into around my right trachea)
9/8/2019
-Begun to worry about the sensations in my throat
-Started forcibly feeling around the affected area.
-Began to feel:
- Extremely light headed
- Profusely numb
- Legs excruciatingly painful
- Felt as though I was going to die.
-In my panic, I ran next door and asked the neighbour to take me down to ED.
-I was sent away from ED with some bruising to my pride and a vivid memory of what ‘felt’ like a near death experience.
ED diagnosis- Panic attack
10/8/2019-14/8/2019
-Was unable to work during this period.
-Was in a constant state of anxiety about any organic issues causing persistent physical symptoms since the initial trip to ED.
-Physical symptoms include:
- Numbness all over (especially head and right side of body)
- Fatigue and weakness of limbs ( noticeably more on my right hand side)
- Spells of complete fatigue, which seemed to be prior to any of my panic episodes
- Pain and spasms in right and left neck
- When getting up from rest my leg weakness is notably worse for a longer period of time.
- Off balance
- Hot spells
- Nausea spells
- Pressure in head
-Seeked reassurance via after hours GPs my regular GP and another trip to ED
-GP requested:
- blood tests
- CT scan on head
- xray of neck
- ultrasound of the carotid artery.
-Results for all of the above came back as normal.
GP diagnosis - Anxiety / Mental Trauma / Some swelling in neck.
15/8/2019-16/8/2019
-Able to return to work for some hours after requesting to be placed alongside a colleague at all times.
-Anxiety and excessive worry continued to be significant.
-Physical symptoms persisted, at times causing extreme fatigue and numbness.
-Eventually at work on the 16th these symptoms were so bad I was taken to the after hours GP.
-Without realising at the time, these symptoms were exacerbated by heavy breathing during the prolonged panic.
-I collapsed in the foyer of the GP where I was put on to a bed and had an ESG done (checked out normal).
Diagnosis -Panic attack
17/8/2019 - 19/8/2019
-Another trip to doctor
diagnosis-anxiety
-Anxiety continuing mood lowering exponentially.
-Physical symptoms persisting.
20/8/2019
-Went to pick up dinner after work.
-Entered the van and had a hot sensation in the affected neck area.
-Legs began to be painful, I went dizzy and lightheaded, numbness especially of head and limbs as panic set in.
-I recognised the panic and took 2x diazepam
-It took 40 minutes before I was able to drive home
21/8/2019- 26/8/2019
-3 more trips to the doctors in disbelief that there is nothing organically wrong.
GPs diagnosis -Anxiety / Trauma/ (after mentioning my concerns)- probably Glossopharyngeal neuralgia/ possibility of vagus nerve damage but no treatment.
-Was prescribed sodium valproate and ordered to increase my mirtazapine by the doctor on Friday, however hesitant to do so before seeing Dr Gareth.
-Anxiety continues however not as debilitating as previous.
-Feeling helpless as I still have no other explanation besides ‘anxiety’.
-My mood is reaching new lows as the continued uncertainty, potential for panic attacks and physical symptoms are preventing me from doing many everyday tasks and activities.
-Physical symptoms persisting- Especially :
- Weakness of limbs (hard work to walk at times)
- Numbness of extremities.
- Fatigue
- Feel uncoordinated (sometimes needing to hold myself up)
- Irritable bowel and nausea
- Spasms in left neck
27/8/2019
Anxiety is not as high as previous days due to comfort in knowing I have an appointment tomorrow with Dr Gareth.
-Dr rang me up regarding my concerns about potential vagus nerve issues.
Dr said if there is issues it could be causing a slower than normal heartbeat.
Dr prescribed me a salmeterol inhaler which would increase adrenaline for 12 hours to see if it eases the weakness.
Dr said what happens if damaged it over produces the inverse chemical of adrenaline causing symptoms synonymous with my symptoms.
Dr said this will help to identify the cause, however there is no treatment.
-Symptomatic periods in late morning.
-Took the salmeterol
-Periods of weakness but seemed not so significant in afternoon - I will need to repeat this over the next week to see if this is actually helping.
-5:30, physical symptoms set in strongly- Possibly, the extra adrenaline used up before 5 due to physical labor?
28/8/2019
Had a meeting with Dr gareth (physiatrist)
The meeting went well besides my anxiety preventing me from getting everything i wanted out, anticipating this I printed out this to give him to read.
He told me I have severe anxiety
Was prescribed a months worth diazepam
Ended up having a panic attack towards the end of the appointment - felt extreme numbness in head, cold legs and some weakness.
29/8/2019 - 30/8/2019
2 more large panic attacks with multiple periods of constant high anxiety levels.
Panic attacks seem to be triggered by the seemingly not related sudden numbness and weakness.
31/8/2019
Anxiety levels high even when taking a regular dose of diazepam.
Still have constant weakness especially down right hand side.
Functional limb weakness brought on by fatigue and /or panic attacks?
Have sudden belts of weakness .
I have a sharp pain in my neck which is probably from constantly feeling around
I also have a lump and pain in right jaw near the joint but behind the bone.
Everytime I stretch my neck out and feel the pain everything goes jelly all of a sudden weakness in legs and arms and numbness all over especially head.This seems to happen before I have any physiological changes from the panic, which appears to follow the numbness and weakness.
The subsequent anxiety / panic is what everyone sees.
Could the nerves be damaged enough to produce these feelings?
Could a branch of the vagus nerve be producing this?
The X-ray results said there was some inflammation.
Where was this inflammation and could it be nerve related.
Would a CT scan of neck and jaw pick up any issues?
1/9/2019
Pain in neck persisting
Am trying to not take any diazepam today to see if it helps.
Sudden weakness where I feel like I need to get up and walk which is happening since the beginning of this timeline.
Nerve damage to vagus?
Sudden dissociation?
-My (definitely naive) potential self diagnoses
Physical :
- Chronic fatigue?
- Glossopharyngeal neuralgia - Doctor said is likely
- Damage to the vagus nerve? - When reading about Glossopharyngeal neuralgia it states that 10 percent of patients (who have damage to the glossopharyngeal nerve) also have damage to the vagus nerve ‘damage to the vagus nerve can cause potentially life threatening heart irregularities and slower pulse which can cause slow pulse, sudden drops in blood pressure, fainting.’
- Other nerve damage?
Mental:
- None of this is happening and i'm just staring at a white wall in some unit like in the movies?
- Some kind of persistent panic disorder?- Could this be synonymous with the seeming random episodes and underlying anxiety?
- Health anxiety-certainly
- Functional neurological symptoms disorder? -numbness and weakness, particularly on one side of the body is a common symptom.
- Conversion disorder? Trauma from my first trip to ED of which felt like a near death experience ?
- I've somehow sensitised myself to the symptoms surrounding my first panic attack and am feeling them constantly?
- Functional limb weakness?
I can admit that the symptoms emanated from my original trip to ED which likely points to this physiological event as the origin of all my symptoms. However, In my eyes the physical symptoms and anxiety issues are largely their own entities thus I am still doubtful that my physical symptoms can be solely explained via the umbrella of anxiety.
I am anxious to speak with a specialist regarding my vagus nerve concerns as I am too afraid to do any more research since stumbling across the quote I mentioned above.
Ultimately, I am wanting an answer as to why I keep having spells of fatigue, weakness, numbness and discoordination as i find this to be most alarming.
If in fact there is no organic cause, I feel as though I need convincing psychological reason(s) that explain my ongoing physiological and physical experiences before I can begin to recover.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you managed to get to the end of this, Thank you and please feel free to provide any insights.