Strawberry Banana Sundae
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In Praise of Boundaries: A Conversation With Miss Manners
Reprint: R0312B The past three decades have been a time of increasing informality in the American workplace. It’s easy to characterize this growing comfort with the casual as a positive step for workplace culture, an outgrowth of the American democratic belief in workers’ equality. Informal...
hbr.org
The Case for Etiquette
Etiquette coach Balsam Al Khalil gives a lesson on how to present yourself for success.
Why do people increasingly have such bad manners, whether online, in public spaces, with their friends or at home?
Answer (1 of 3): With increasing in demand at work and life, the amount of stress increases too. Having bad manners whether online or offline usually due to so much tension within a person. When someone have so much tension, it can be felt at the chest area due to stress, the body will react to ...
The Decline of Good Manners
If that's the most intelligent thing that's going to come out of your mouth, you should keep it shut ~ My Dad Bad manners are on the rise. Even people raised with good manners are failing to utilize behaviors taught to them as children.
www.linkedin.com
In Defense of Etiquette
by DENNIS KEMPTON How to write a column in defense of etiquette without sounding like a tight ass? Not an easy feat. I was raised with a set of manners and with a framework of social etiquette th…
havenmagazine.wordpress.com
Good Manners? Who Cares?
We hear that good soft skills are key in the work place, so key that they can actually elevate a candidate with mediocre grades, experience or tech skills ahead of someone with great grades, experience and tech skills. But what do employers mean when they talk about soft skills? The usual suspects t
www.linkedin.com
Bad Manners in the Workplace
Bad manners in the workplace equals bad business and a lack in productivity. Successful entrepreneur shares a list of ban manners in the workplace you need to be conscious of.
www.lorensworld.com
15 Examples of Bad Office Etiquette and How to Fix it
Find out if you’ve been committing these office faux pas and ditch the bad office etiquette.
www.careeraddict.com
The Worst Etiquette Mistakes You Can Make
Etiquette mistakes and misunderstandings of manners can be corrected, you just need to know how you're being rude.
www.thedailymeal.com
This is going to be a very controversial topic nonetheless, but I need to get this off my chest. I hear this way too often, and the following links above are just a FEW of the overwhelming examples of enforced etiquette.
Here is my case against it however. Like many other people who grew up in a middle-class neighborhood, I myself was taught how to have “good manners”. And I quote it because it’s less to do with actually being a good person and more to do with the stigma that behaving in a proper manner, no mistakes, gives you an upper advantage in society. In other words, if you use bad manners, aka habits that aren’t actually physically harming anybody, then you are a piece-of-s*** person.
This is not to say that acting disrespectful is acceptable. There is a difference. A lot of the so-called bad manners that many people complain about are mostly unintentional and doesn’t actually harm anyone, such as not making eye contact, talking with your mouth full, not saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, etc. Meanwhile, insulting someone, or forcibly shoving them is a form of disrespect and should be considered harmful behavior.
I feel the problem with etiquette has to do with the overwhelming praises toward traditionalism, which I call forced politeness, and the misrepresentation by linking bad manners with disrespect. One simply cannot force others to be polite and abide to the unwritten rules of etiquette 24/7. A lot of them that engage in forced politeness and expect others to behave a certain way are strangers, none of which are of authority. I see this as a problem as it restricts those from expressing themselves honestly and living however they want.
I myself have been stigmatized as an unladylike person because of my “bad manners”. As a kid, I would cringe whenever I was forced to say “please” and “thank you” all the damn time. I was chastised for talking with my mouth full yet my parents were easily impatient and expect me to answer immediately to them. I hated having to sit with my legs closed while wearing a dress or even shorts as I hated the feel of sticky hairy legs and I would get all sweaty and uncomfortable.
There was so much stigma I had to endure, not just as a woman, but also as a person with autism. It was one of the things that had made me easily timid and submissive, even though I hated it. If I dared to go against the standards of my class, I would be considered as unfit and uncivilized. It scared me into becoming a servant to unwritten rules applied by regular people who act like they are of or above authority.
Overall, the standard regarding etiquette and the constant need for more of it is harming democracy. It is discriminatory and treats women, people of color, working classes, and disabled people as lesser than the norm. It is also an enforced permission to enforce people of middle and upper classes to behave “properly” all while ignoring the necessity of being true to themselves. I find it scary.
Again, I’m not defending disrespectful behavior. My point is we should learn not to link that and unintentional habits together. Who are we to control others’ behaviors? If the situation is mundane and doesn’t harm anybody, then it should left alone. In other words, why should we tell everyone else how to live their life? End of vent.
