I feel like I am losing my mind

[XmasCarol52]

For a entire week now I have had nothing but server anxieties and I feel like I am losing my mind.Every little thing seems to bother me.Even the sound of my water heater when I hear that thing starting to run I become very anxious sweaty and I start to yell.I have tried closing my eyes and praying but I dont think it is even working.As I write this my hands are shaking.I just dont know what is wrong with me.I think I am going crazy.I have a doctors appointment for March 20 and I am already very anxious about it for crying out loud it is only to see my shrink to get my meds.but these anticipatory anxieties are just making me sick.I am worried about just getting up in the morning.It has gotten worse.I have done some coloring but even then i cannot relax.I am glad that i am alone today nice to have a day off without people coming inside of my house.I dont want anybody seeing me like this matter of fact I even had to lie to my mother about the way I am feeling she thinks I am okay I cant actually tell her how i feel ,she will just asks a bunch of questions so I have to fake it.Besides that I dont want to burden her with my illness cause I know she will get very upset.I often wonder if I got this mental illness from my mom .SHe is always nervous yelling is depressed to.I am at my wits end.This is awful I can see myself killing myself like overdosing on my meds or using a knife i know they are just a thought but lately it feels so real to me.Frankly I am scared to death.

 

[janemariesayed]

For a entire week now I have had nothing but server anxieties and I feel like I am losing my mind.Every little thing seems to bother me.Even the sound of my water heater when I hear that thing starting to run I become very anxious sweaty and I start to yell.I have tried closing my eyes and praying but I dont think it is even working.As I write this my hands are shaking.I just dont know what is wrong with me.I think I am going crazy.I have a doctors appointment for March 20 and I am already very anxious about it for crying out loud it is only to see my shrink to get my meds.but these anticipatory anxieties are just making me sick.I am worried about just getting up in the morning.It has gotten worse.I have done some coloring but even then i cannot relax.I am glad that i am alone today nice to have a day off without people coming inside of my house.I dont want anybody seeing me like this matter of fact I even had to lie to my mother about the way I am feeling she thinks I am okay I cant actually tell her how i feel ,she will just asks a bunch of questions so I have to fake it.Besides that I dont want to burden her with my illness cause I know she will get very upset.I often wonder if I got this mental illness from my mom .SHe is always nervous yelling is depressed to.I am at my wits end.This is awful I can see myself killing myself like overdosing on my meds or using a knife i know they are just a thought but lately it feels so real to me.Frankly I am scared to death.

C'mon Carol! Chin up honey. I am sorry you are feeling so low and I just wish that I lived close by so I could be there for you when you feel like this. It will pass. You know it will pass. Sometimes up, sometimes down. You will be up again, give it time. Maybe you should chat with your mum if she calls. Okay don't tell her how you are feeling but even just to say hello to her might make you feel better. If she would worry about you it shows that she actually cares about you.
Sending you hugs and a jar of happiness.