Since I was a child, my father used to beat my mother and beat me too. It happened so many times and I never concentrated in school because I assumed it happened in other families too. When my siblings were born, the mistreatment reduced a little. The last time I was beaten by father was when I was 16 years old. I never talked to people in school and I was always sad. Everyone in school always said I was scared even if I did my best to hide it. I keep lying to myself that I have forgiven my parents but I can't forget all the bad memories. They always blame me. My father regrets having me and he has told me many times when I was a child. It is hard to have friends because I don't know how to socialize with people. I have headache everyday. I find it hard to be happy. I don't know how to move on from the past. My mother's sisters have also been mistreated by their husbands. It makes get scared of relationships because I don't want to have the same fate. It is so hard to think positively. I have ever told someone how I feel and they suggested I buy antidepressant. I used them for one year and they helped me calm down and feel better but then I got addicted. I stopped using them but six months later, I started going back to my old self. Too sad and no sleep. I went to buy those medicines again but they kept asking for a prescription which I don't have. It is more than 5 years now and I don't know how to make myself feel better.