Kelculator
Active Member
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2017
- Messages
- 481
- Reaction score
- 167
I know it looks like a clickbait. I'd probably be fine, after God knows what amount of time. But in this moment I really feel like I can't do it anymore. I just want to feel safe and do what my heart desires, and nit be stopped by a seemingly impenetrable force.
I tried and tried. I have been dealing with GAD all the way back as long as I can remember, and it has robbed me of so many things. Opportunities. Friendships. So many things that could have made a difference.
I'm not the brightest, but certainly not stupid. I'm here procrastinating and almost physically unable to function, and the big college entrance exam is about 60 days away. I could have done SO MUCH this entire year. Except I didn't. I don't want my future ruined, and no one seems to understand. No one sees how much pain, physically and mentally, I am in. I know it isn't right to have such expectation, but I just want my friends and tutors to understand.
I struggle to even sleep now. There is not a day I went by without anxiety hovering over me. And no, I cannot afford therapy. Therapy isn't an option, at least in my opinion, no natter what my parents think, because that is truly a luxury to us. Not to mention I have been to two therapists before and the process is just unbearably slow and ineffective.
I really can't do it anymore. I truly, wholeheartedly see no way out.
Waking up is a chore. Doing stuff is a chore. Not being obsessed with my health and future is a chore. I only go through days like a robot nowadays. By numbing my emotions, just to not go insane.
I know there are people way less fortunate than I am, and I seem like a kid whining about life, but it really hurts for me, at least in my situation.
I'm so sorry for the rant. It's ok if you didn't want to read that.
I tried and tried. I have been dealing with GAD all the way back as long as I can remember, and it has robbed me of so many things. Opportunities. Friendships. So many things that could have made a difference.
I'm not the brightest, but certainly not stupid. I'm here procrastinating and almost physically unable to function, and the big college entrance exam is about 60 days away. I could have done SO MUCH this entire year. Except I didn't. I don't want my future ruined, and no one seems to understand. No one sees how much pain, physically and mentally, I am in. I know it isn't right to have such expectation, but I just want my friends and tutors to understand.
I struggle to even sleep now. There is not a day I went by without anxiety hovering over me. And no, I cannot afford therapy. Therapy isn't an option, at least in my opinion, no natter what my parents think, because that is truly a luxury to us. Not to mention I have been to two therapists before and the process is just unbearably slow and ineffective.
I really can't do it anymore. I truly, wholeheartedly see no way out.
Waking up is a chore. Doing stuff is a chore. Not being obsessed with my health and future is a chore. I only go through days like a robot nowadays. By numbing my emotions, just to not go insane.
I know there are people way less fortunate than I am, and I seem like a kid whining about life, but it really hurts for me, at least in my situation.
I'm so sorry for the rant. It's ok if you didn't want to read that.
