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I can't take this much longer.

Kelculator

Active Member
Joined
Dec 10, 2017
Messages
398
Likes
140
#1
I know it looks like a clickbait. I'd probably be fine, after God knows what amount of time. But in this moment I really feel like I can't do it anymore. I just want to feel safe and do what my heart desires, and nit be stopped by a seemingly impenetrable force.
I tried and tried. I have been dealing with GAD all the way back as long as I can remember, and it has robbed me of so many things. Opportunities. Friendships. So many things that could have made a difference.
I'm not the brightest, but certainly not stupid. I'm here procrastinating and almost physically unable to function, and the big college entrance exam is about 60 days away. I could have done SO MUCH this entire year. Except I didn't. I don't want my future ruined, and no one seems to understand. No one sees how much pain, physically and mentally, I am in. I know it isn't right to have such expectation, but I just want my friends and tutors to understand.
I struggle to even sleep now. There is not a day I went by without anxiety hovering over me. And no, I cannot afford therapy. Therapy isn't an option, at least in my opinion, no natter what my parents think, because that is truly a luxury to us. Not to mention I have been to two therapists before and the process is just unbearably slow and ineffective.
I really can't do it anymore. I truly, wholeheartedly see no way out.
Waking up is a chore. Doing stuff is a chore. Not being obsessed with my health and future is a chore. I only go through days like a robot nowadays. By numbing my emotions, just to not go insane.
I know there are people way less fortunate than I am, and I seem like a kid whining about life, but it really hurts for me, at least in my situation.
I'm so sorry for the rant. It's ok if you didn't want to read that.
 

triceps

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 7, 2018
Messages
1,091
Likes
578
#2
Hi Keculator. I was so bummed at your post that I've had to take awhile before replying. You know, I've been dealing with chronic GAD for over 50 years. I too have missed much because of it. What saddened me so much is how young you are. It's a huge plus for you in many ways but your age is also a much harder time to be going through with your heightened anxiety. I hope writing about your situation has been helpful for you.
Kelculator, you're in a serious, temporary funk right now. You've already conquered so many challenges in spite of your GAD. Be confident that "this too shall pass" and you'll do just great on your college entrance tests and you'll get back to a life with a reasonable level of GAD.
 

Kelculator

Active Member
Joined
Dec 10, 2017
Messages
398
Likes
140
#3
Hi Keculator. I was so bummed at your post that I've had to take awhile before replying. You know, I've been dealing with chronic GAD for over 50 years. I too have missed much because of it. What saddened me so much is how young you are. It's a huge plus for you in many ways but your age is also a much harder time to be going through with your heightened anxiety. I hope writing about your situation has been helpful for you.
Kelculator, you're in a serious, temporary funk right now. You've already conquered so many challenges in spite of your GAD. Be confident that "this too shall pass" and you'll do just great on your college entrance tests and you'll get back to a life with a reasonable level of GAD.
Thank you. You've been so kind and understanding.
 

guitarman65

Active Member
Joined
Jan 22, 2019
Messages
113
Likes
78
#4
TRI is right Kelc...the serious temporary funk mentioned has a keyword in it..."temporary" although it doesn't seem like it now, it WILL pass. Between TRI and me, we have close to 100 years dealing with this damn anxiety! After that long of time, we should have accumulated at least a few tips and helpful statements.

I am actually going thru a tough overthinking situation right now, so i can relate to your circumstance. It seems like its not gonna ever stop, but i know from experience, it will, not fast enough...but it will. With the exception of a few family members, and a couple good friends, not much here thats too promising right now for me, but i'll keep looking for something that resembles happiness!

My point is, that we are kinda in this together. I think we gather support from any way we can, and this site makes it easy to get that support :)

Sorry for ranting, just felt like typing i guess. Take care, we are ALL here for each other brother :)
 
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