I can't do this anymore

[imsotired]

aww so sorry this is happening to you . When you say everything i read yells cancer to me maybe try to avoid reading and googleing it. i know it is hard and easier said than done but if you keep on thinking negiative thoughts then negiative things will come and if you thinkpositive then positive things will come(what you attract in the universe is what will come.
At the end of the day it is what it is whether you like it or not which can be hard to process but i think the most important thing to do is to take care and look after yourself. likefor me i came to the realiseation that if i dont have any social contactwith any of my friends then it makes me feel worse. journaling rlly helps. write down things such as the thoughts you have. getting it down on paper csn sometimes make us realise how irrational our mind is being.
when you are in a rlly dark place gratitude is the best. writing down what you are greatful even if it is small such as being alive,being able the wilk, brethe, see, hear,smell and taste andd that nomatter what you are going through, you are never alone.

hope this helps srry its kinda long
goodluck
depending how old your children are maybe call all of them in and have a sit down talk with them. If they are younger maybe wait till they are a little older and seeing a professional on how to tell your kids bad news.

hope this helps

 

[derrickmyles]

This back and forth battle in my head is killing me

I just know it's cancer!!! Everything I read yells cancer. But I am absolutely numb with fear! Terrified to death of going to get it checked out. This is a living nightmare that will only end in death.
I spend my whole day just crying and checking for more symptoms of spread. I don't want to be around anyone. and it's so hard to act normal around my family and pretend nothing is wrong. My kids can't understand why I seem so sad.

I effin HATE THIS!

Yes, I can understand your pain and concern. Just don't get yourself into depression or anxiety otherwise it will be very difficult for you to deal with so many problems at a time. You should take counseling therapy to deal with your mood swings, of course, you are terrified of health I can completely understand you, Neither your family will understand what you are going through, it will be too much for them. And you need emotional support and for this, you have counseling therapy. You can not do much to treat cancer but you can definitely work on your mental health and behavior to spend a good time with your family.
i hope you will understand my point.