I can see it...

[FlipperK]

Last week in my last therapy session, I was talking with her about my fears of asbestos and rabies and all of these other things.

We got on the topic of logical answers. As we all do here on this forum, we try to provide logical answers to our concerns.

The therapist brought up a good point though, logical answers typically do not help illogical thoughts. They are two separate parts of the brain. Our illogical fears and worries are stemming from our emotional part of the brain. When that emotion gets overwhelming, there isn't any amount of logic that can calm it. You have to find a way to calm those emotions a different way and once those emotions are under control, logical thinking finally takes hold.

We are smart people, if a logical answer were truly that easy, this forum wouldn't be needed.

Looking at my past posts about my worries and seeing so many members here repeatedly posting the same issues over and over again, I can see that is true. We are all giving out very logical answers but it doesn't help many of us in the long term.




I know that some will argue that going to doctor to get checked out solves many worries, and to that I say... yes and no. Sometimes it does, for me, I had a couple of issues that did get resolved by a doctor visit. But these were physical symptoms (growths, rashes, etc.). My other fears, you always go back and questions... did they miss something?

Or if you are satisfied with their answer, the next issue is going to be around the corner waiting for us to worry about. Then we begin the cycle again.



There is something else going on with us that is driving our anxiety... we are holding onto to these thoughts for a reason. Its' different for everyone.


Just wanted to share my thoughts on this.

 

[Fraser]

I agree. It's a very strange thing for me to simultaneously know that my fear isn't rational and to hold it, and fear it, regardless.

 

[FlipperK]

I am starting to journal when I get intrusive thoughts or worry.

I noticed that before this last year (COVID) I had a 4-5 year streak of relative free worry and no medication.

I think my fear of possibly being exposed to asbestos doing some renovations in my old home made me think that I was too careless. I feel like I made a mistake and now I need to micro analyze everything to make sure I am safe from now on. Essentially, me going about my life "normally" might have caused an issue for me and my family. My brain just cannot accept that right now. My wife and family around me tell me we are okay and that is it okay with what happened. Probably didn't get exposed, but even if we did, probably not enough to do any harm.

I am literally the ONLY one freaking out about it. No one around me really cares too much about it. Either your fine or its' too late now. Which are both valid points. Again, my logic explanation above in my OP.

If I don't know what I am dealing with 100% I freeze and panic. I used to be the handy husband around the house, now I am afraid to put a nail in the wall for gosh sakes! My wife misses the old me and I don't know when I will finally start to get back to being that person.

It breaks my heart but my emotional state is just not allowing me to move on right now. I am getting closer to that point, but still looking. Moving forward one day at a time.



ANYWAYS

I brought this up primarily to put a theory out there... for me at least... I tried to live a normal life and now I felt like I was too careless and put people in danger. I feel responsible for it and I feel like I need to fix it... but I can't.

BUT

Those 4-5 years were some of the greatest years of my life so far... If I were to die tomorrow, I could be a little at peace that I at least lived the life I wanted for that time. I enjoyed the HELL out of it!


Even with the anxiety now, totally worth it.


DON'T be afraid to live your life... even for one day... it is totally worth it.

 

[Adi]

Oh my god this is so true!!

well I used to think i might have some specific problem that i overthink possibly about everything out there specifically about my health anxieties. I think that i adore my life and people around my life so i don't want to loose it or loose anyone and that is the only reason i am afraid of death or in fact i can't possibly even phrase it out like saying casually or sarcastically something about dieing or listening it from someone else about myself.

I am here because i want to understand how people think, how do they cope up with these kind of anxiety issues and try to figure out that it is normal. let me tell you honestly few days back i was all alone battling with all these irrational thoughts of health anxiety all alone and whenever discussed with friends or family its like i am the one who is a fool in-between of everyone else who is enjoying there life perfectly and i am just worrying about any disease that could happen to me because of any past incident or recent incident and now its almost 3-4 years down the line and i still have such issues with me but i fight almost every time with these kind of thoughts and there are positive outcomes as well. I feel relaxed...i feel okay and then i try to reestablish everything.

Also, there are even months when i live normally without having any kind of serious anxiety issues and was normally enjoying my life but there were always something going on in my mind which is not completely empty about these anxiety issues i have. I know it is difficult for people to live like this that is the reason i am here it actually make me aware that these things are normal and so many people out there are also dealing with these things so it is normal to be anxious about health because everyone in there life feel anxious about one or other thing be it about there career or job or girlfriend / boyfriend / partner/ family so you can also be anxious about your own health or about your family's health why not! but what we need to overcome is over obsessing about these health conditions and making anxiety a normal concern.


Living in India is so difficult with these issues because here there is no such terms like mental health or anxiety issues to be treated normally like other health concerns in fact people are not at all aware of that these are the things which should be considered important and should be discussed internally with family or friends so that we can feel better and deal with them normally like any other flu or disease issues.

Sorry for the essay but i wrote my heart out !!!

Please do pen down your thoughts you all.