I can’t differentiate dreams from real life

[scumlet]

Hi! I’ve had a problem since childhood where I’ll have extremely vivid dreams that range from super close to real life (with only one or two things different) to wildly different. I’ll get stuck in this state where I feel like I’m just waking up, or like my real life may be a dream, for days on end. Honestly, most of my childhood was spent in this state and it resulted in a lot of trouble in remembering my childhood/middle school memories because I can’t tell if they were real or dreams. It’s gotten better, but when I’m anxious and have a bad, extremely vivid dream, that feeling comes back. Does anyone have some advice?

 

[Cuchculan]

There are a type of dream we can have called lucid dreams. Hard to tell when you do wake if what happened was real or just a dream. Why? Because we are part awake and part asleep when we have lucid dreams. Hence the can feel so real. But that would only explain the dream stuff. I would be looking more at derealization or something like that to explain the whole thing of feeling like you are in a dream state when outside the house. It can make us feel detached from reality. You could go a whole day feeling that way. The mind can become confused. What was real during the day and what wasn't. Though everything was probably real, because of the state of things during derealization, the mind might pick it up as maybe not been real. That is how it can work. Bit like a spaced out feeling. Were nothing around you can seem real. As if you are walking in a dream. If you had this when young, the mind might not be able to remember much of anything. Because it all felt like one big dream.

 

[northern]

My understanding is that, unfortunately, this is a common problem for certain people. Especially when trauma is involved, it can sometimes be difficult to sort-out which early-life memories are accurate, exaggerated, or fictional (dreams in your case). I've had this problem myself, and counseling has been helpful time-to-time. You may want to list which notable memories you're confident in, which where you're less confident, and the ones that seem strange. You may not be able to discover the entire truth, but settling for what's the 'most likely scenario' might help you get some closure.

 

[Camden]

Dreams are manifestations of repressed emotions and unconscious thoughts and desires. Anything you encounter during the day can influence dream content. The function of dreams is unclear, but it is thought that they are a means to erase the mind of unecessary "debris" or unimportant thoughts and mental activity to help you think clearly and maintain cognitive functioning. Dreams are sometimes random bits of information and other times heavily influenced by real-world events.

I have EXTREMELY vivid dreams and I understand what it's like to hover in the grey area between sleep and wakefulness or dream and real life. Sometimes I'll dream about dealing with a complicated problem that doesn't exist, and I'll wake up and it takes me up to a minute to realize said problem was a dream. It takes some time to feel the relief that the issues from my dreams disappear the moment I wake up.

Dreams are definitely influenced by past trauma and present day issues. Things you repress or actively try to avoid will rear their ugly heads in your dreams. Even repressed emotions will come to the surface in dreams because your inhibitions are turned off while asleep. I often dream that I am crying, yelling, or screaming due to the frustrations I sweep under the rug during the previous day.

As for distinguishing dreams from reality, I have only encountered that to an extent. I have fairly concrete memories of my teenage and childhood years. If you can remember the fine details (i.e. 5 senses) of memories, then it was most likely a real event. If the memory seems exaggerated or melodramatic in any way, or if anything outrageous or otherwise unrealistic happened it was probably a dream. Dreams do not always follow the logic and laws of physics of reality. Another thing to look out for in memories are signs of "surrrealism." If time and perception seems disrupted, then it was probably a dream. I hope this helps!

 

[Doug97]

I get the dream-like feeling when fully awake and my anxiety is bad. Like Cuchculan said, it's called depersonalisation or derealisation and it happens in extreme anxiety states. It's horrible I know, but just know that it's a common and known result of anxiety. If you worry about it, it makes it worse.

 

[MATD]

I once heard this statement from a woman “dreams are like a free trip to the movies.” It kind of puts dreams in a better perspective. Movies are stories of unreal events, etc. The other comments you received are all logical views on dreams. Take in the info you were given and ponder on it. If you have anxiety now, it’s pretty likely you had it to some degree as a child. You were unable to process your dreams and the state of mind you were left in after dreams that were likely influenced by anxiety. You didn’t have enough information at that age, and if you didn’t discuss it with anyone, you were left to draw your own conclusions without helpful info and couldn’t shake it off. Now that you are older and have more info, look at your dreams from an informed perspective. Dreams are harmless but we do have those dreams that shake us a bit, cause us to feel anxiety or fear. Build your confidence by recognizing it, accepting that the dream was unsettling, assure yourself it was only a dream and not real, let it go as best you can. Practice with each dream. Letting go and accepting it for what it is is the key to overcoming your concerns and being affected by the dreams.

 

[Doug97]

I WISH I could master lucid dreaming, where you are in control of what happens. It'd be like the holodeck on Star Trek, and we all know what that's most commonly used for ...