I Am Having Severe Anxiety After Moving Out

[Erinn]

Hi everyone!

I’m new here, but I really just need some advice and support from a community that understands what I’m going through.

About a year ago, my dad received a new job in Chicago, IL (we’re from NY) and moved out there. My mother and him are still together, so she spent the next year packing up the house and getting it ready to be sold so that she and my younger sister could move out there with him. I am currently 21 years old and about to be a senior in college in the fall. The move kind of put me into a weird position because I go to school in NY and wouldn’t have my family home to stay in this current summer. I ended up moving in with my older sister, who has been moved out of the house for quite a few years, she’s 27, and starting a new job closer to her so that when I return to school I can be closer in the area.

I have had anxiety, and have been medicated for it, since sophomore year of high school, but I have never felt as bad as I do right now.

I moved into my sister’s place about a week ago and started my new job a few days after that. I have been having constant panic attacks about being away from home. My mother and I are extremely close, she’s like my best friend, and I can’t imagine her not being in the same state as me. I can barely eat, and when I do I end up throwing it up and I’ve been crying nonstop. My new job is also extremely stressful and different than anything I have ever done.

Basically, there is a ton of change happening at once in my life and I am not coping well. My sister has never had anxiety issues before, so she doesn’t understand, and whenever I try to talk to her about it she brushes me off and tells me to get over it.

I just really need some help and encouragement about dealing with all of these stressers until I return to school in the fall. I feel so alone in all of this considering my biggest supporter with my anxiety was my mom, and now she’s moving so far away.

 

[Adirv14]

You got this, it can be tough talking to people who dont understand anxiety. Your not alone. School should be starting up in about a month or so. Thats not to far away. Try to stay positive congrats on the new job. The people in this forum are supportive. But it sounds like your doing things right, your going to school, you got a job, and you get to see your sister. Change is tough and its normal to feel stressed but know that the pain and loneliness you feel is only temporary.

 

[Kaynil]

Hey, sorry to hear your sister doesn't understand better about your anxiety. I hope that even if right now she brushes it off she is still a caring sister and you two get along. Probably having you over is also a change for her so you both need some time to adjust and get used to one another.

Do you have means to contact your mum even though the distance? Like using a mobile or a computer application to make video calls? When I moved away from my country making weekly video calls with my family helped me a lot to make things more bearable. I've used discord, WhatsApp and even Facebook. Anything you both have. I think if you still keep in communication with her even in the distance it can help you get some strength to go through with this.

Changes can be intimidating but they are also a good opportunity to try new things and rekindle old hobbies. You can try to pick up a new past time to learn a new skill, or just indulge in stuff you like to do. For example reading, there might be a good collection in the genres you like that can keep you with something to looking forward during this month while school starts.

Please let us know how things go.

 

[Erinn]

You got this, it can be tough talking to people who dont understand anxiety. Your not alone. School should be starting up in about a month or so. Thats not to far away. Try to stay positive congrats on the new job. The people in this forum are supportive. But it sounds like your doing things right, your going to school, you got a job, and you get to see your sister. Change is tough and its normal to feel stressed but know that the pain and loneliness you feel is only temporary.

Thank you so much for your supportive reply. It’s just been super stressful the past few days. My sister is a bartender, so her hours are kind of crazy and often times completely separate from mine, so I rarely see her, which means after work I am left alone in the house for hours trying to occupy my time.

I wish I could keep food down, but i’m getting sick practically every morning and sometimes even throughout the day. I just have a knot in my stomach all day that I carry around and always seem to have. It honestly feels like i’m dying. I have waves of anxiety over the course of the day, normally unprovoked by anything. Like, I’ll feel really really bad for an hour or so, but then get a wave of relief for a little while before going back to an anxious mess. It’s just really tiring.

I love my sister, and she’s a good sister and was gracious enough to let me stay with her, but she just doesn’t get how hard it is for me to be away from my family.

 

[Erinn]

Hey, sorry to hear your sister doesn't understand better about your anxiety. I hope that even if right now she brushes it off she is still a caring sister and you two get along. Probably having you over is also a change for her so you both need some time to adjust and get used to one another.

Do you have means to contact your mum even though the distance? Like using a mobile or a computer application to make video calls? When I moved away from my country making weekly video calls with my family helped me a lot to make things more bearable. I've used discord, WhatsApp and even Facebook. Anything you both have. I think if you still keep in communication with her even in the distance it can help you get some strength to go through with this.

Changes can be intimidating but they are also a good opportunity to try new things and rekindle old hobbies. You can try to pick up a new past time to learn a new skill, or just indulge in stuff you like to do. For example reading, there might be a good collection in the genres you like that can keep you with something to looking forward during this month while school starts.

Please let us know how things go.

Honestly, my sister is a very caring sister. We’ve always been pretty close, so that’s why her lack of support after having me move in is kind of a shock. I always knew she didn’t really understand the anxiety thing, but I never expected her to be so flippant about it.

Thankfully, I can call and Skype my mom when needed. She may be moving away, but she isn’t completely out of reach. I think the real stressor is knowing that I can’t see her when I’ve had a bad day or need help. When I was at school, I was only about an hour and a half away from home, so if I really needed her or wanted to go home and relax away from school, she would just come and get me, but now I don’t have that kind of option.

I feel really guilty for feeling this way because the move is not easy for any of us, especially my mother who also has a history of anxiety and does not particularly want to move to Chicago. I know that she is going through a similar transition and being away from me is hurting her too. I keep calling her in the middle of panic attacks, telling her not to go and that I’m scared, and then after i’ve calmed down a bit I feel incredibly guilty for putting that kind of weight on her shoulders after she already has so much on her mind.

I just really want to get to a state of normalcy, where I can eat regularly and not feel sick or lonely throughout my day. Even if I’m not completely happy with the situation, I really just want to feel in control again so that I can make the best of this summer and my new job.