I almost did it?

[Concernedgal]

I decided to go out today and travel way out of my comfort zone. So I got in the car and I just knew I was going to make it. I almost got there when I demanded my husband pull over and finish the arena himself. I'm hiding in a convenient store bathroom waiting for his return. Have I hit rock bottom? Geez. I'mean so ashamed of myself. I a big town that I call "the devel". Because evert me I visit ... I have a panic attack everytime. Never fails. This was a bad idea. And I just couldnt do it. I couldnt.shame on me

 

[janemariesayed]

Oh dear! @Concernedgal Are you still in the bathroom of the convenience store? Forgive me honey but it does sound funny! While you are waiting there have a think and feel the funny side. Have you got a magazine with you? Perhaps next time, put one in your bag before you go out so you'll have something to occupy your mind if you get stuck. You know you will be right as rain again once you are home.

No you have not hit rock bottom! You are just fine and only being your normal self. Don't push yourself too much, remember to keep your ticker relaxed and don't go out of your comfort zone if you don't want a panic attack. Just go a few meters extra at a time, don't try to rush it and you may be able to travel further with practice.

Your hubby has been so good to leave you where you will be safe. He won't be long now!

 

[Concernedgal]

Yep. I was having a panic attack when I posted that. It always makes me feel better to talk to you guys and get what I'm feeling out . I suppose it was kinda silly to hide in the bathroom. Lol, but, during a panic attack you are bound to do silly things because I suppose your not thinking straight . I need to explore looking back into anti anxiety drugs. Maybe at my appointment tomorrow I should ask about it. I know that I don't want to be afraid anymore though. Something must be done.

 

[janemariesayed]

I am sorry to have laughed, I know it wouldn't have felt funny at the time. I'm laughing at myself at the moment. It isn't quite as embarrassing as what happened to you. When I'm getting my flashbacks I'm trying to make fun of it. Otherwise, it sends me into a panic attack. Sometimes I've been out as well and it's happened. To bring myself back to reality I turned to the lady looking at the same products as me and I said out loud to her 'oh that's nice isn't it? and gave her a big grin! She didn't realise but I had to get my mind back on reality and quickly. I managed but as I walked off I felt really shaky.

It is so frustrating how these mental illnesses affect us. Sometimes it feels like a horrendous and torturous uphill struggle on very steep steps.

Sometimes I wonder if trying to find a cure is hopeless and I will have to accept that I will never get better. So we should see the funny side of things. I can imagine you being out with your hubby all relaxed and enjoying what you can see then suddenly you have to run off. I think I'm going to have to remember that tip though! Yep! If I'm feeling a bit of a wobble coming on when I'm out - why not rush to the loo?

You can always come on here and chat. I was happy to be chatting with you as the event was unfolding lol! So imagine me out there in future with you. Holding your hand, you're not alone Sis!

 

[JCP]

I decided to go out today and travel way out of my comfort zone. So I got in the car and I just knew I was going to make it. I almost got there when I demanded my husband pull over and finish the arena himself. I'm hiding in a convenient store bathroom waiting for his return. Have I hit rock bottom? Geez. I'mean so ashamed of myself. I a big town that I call "the devel". Because evert me I visit ... I have a panic attack everytime. Never fails. This was a bad idea. And I just couldnt do it. I couldnt.shame on me

Seems like something in your subconscious is triggering it? must be so terrible. I've only had one major panic attack when I took weed, I felt like I was going to die.

 

[Rinka]

Hey @Concernedgal
We are here for you!
I sometimes think that reaching rock bottom is not that bad, because if you have reached the bottom the only way is up again.
It's that place where you realise that you need to change things. Like for you going to your appointment and asking for anti- anxiety meds.

 

[Concernedgal]

Wasn't no picnic hiding in a public restroom trying to breathe either and I hope you guys are right. . I hope the only way to go is up. And all I can say is... if at first you don't succeed. .. try , try again. So I suspose that's what i'll do.

 

[janemariesayed]

Wasn't no picnic hiding in a public restroom trying to breathe either and I hope you guys are right. . I hope the only way to go is up. And all I can say is... if at first you don't succeed. .. try , try again. So I suspose that's what i'll do.

You will be fine, but maybe you took it a bit too far over your comfort zone. Don't try to push yourself to do what you are not ready for.

 

[Concernedgal]

I hear you. But, I got to push my limits sometime. I can't keep being scared if a feeling. I feel so foolish when i'm not able to do simplementation things like that in life.

 

[janemariesayed]

You will, but all in good time. If your limit is to the butchers at the end of fourth street then only go to the butchers at the end of fourth street plus one meter. Next time go two metres past it and so on. And if you have to rush off somewhere then do so and don't be ashamed of that. Your body not wanting to go a certain distance doesn't make you a fool.

I know it is not nice not being able to do certain things in life, but life may not always be like that for you.

 

[Concernedgal]

I guess I just have to be patient.

 

[janemariesayed]

I guess I just have to be patient.

Yes exactly! That is what I like to hear. You have to be patient. More than ever now because of your condition hun. Please do your best to stay in the life, if only for my own selfish reasons to keep you in mine.

And if ever you run off to the loo again, do please come on here as soon as you can so hopefully if one of us is online we can help see you through it.

Love you, Sis!