Hypochondriac and scared of hospitals

[SomeRandomDude]

So, health anxiety has been a big issue in my life. Seemingly every day I become anxious over things I notice happening with me, if you remember a few days ago I wrote about believing I had food poisoning. And a few days later IBS. Now I don't even know why i'm anxious. I've just been feeling so strange physically and mentally. Probably because of all the excessive stress I've been putting myself through. And this has plagued me since I was a child when I first got "heartburn." I remember that first instance being so bad that I had the longest panic attack I've ever had, nearly lasting that entire night. And in the following weeks it affected me mentally to the point where my parents took me to the doctor just to tell me that nothing's wrong. And that's where it all began. And it has made my life hell ever since.

And another reason why it's caused me grief for so long, is because i'm also terrified of going to hospital. In case by some one in a million odds they confirm my fears. It's as terrible of a mix as it sounds. So instead of getting checked out just in case. I just go with the awful feelings and constantly tricking myself into believing something is terribly wrong with me.

I want to get a handle on this awful mess, but i'm to afraid to even start.

 

[JohnM]

Hey man, I’m sorry to hear you’ve been suffering for so long, but, if it’s any comfort, you’re definitely not alone. I too started obsessing about my health since I was a kid. First started when I was 6 years old and thought I had throat cancer, and I’ve had terrible bouts of health anxiety ever since. I’m not exactly terrified of hospitals, but I can get very anxious when I go to the doctor because I’m afraid they’ll find something seriously wrong with me. I’m 24 now and still dealing with it, although I’ve also dealt with depression and drug addiction, so please count yourself lucky if health anxiety is all you’re dealing with. Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not at all trying to minimize your pain. Anxiety on its own can be agonizing and debilitating.

BUT there is hope. I’ve found that meditation (I use Sam Harris’s “Waking Up” app), exercise, regular therapy, and positive self talk have helped me immensely. Also, a strategy which always calms me down a bit is to remind myself just how often I’ve been wrong about having a disease. It’s pretty much 100%! It helps to put things in perspective. Another thing to be aware of is your brain’s nearly infinite capacity to produce real, palpable symptoms in your body just from stress. I was so terrified I had ALS or some other neurodegenerative disease last year that I literally convinced a neurologist that I had to be tested for multiple sclerosis. I was having tremors, muscle weakness and twitching, severe dizziness, and vision changes. The very moment I learned my tests were clear and I was fine, all my “symptoms” evaporated. It really was all
In my head.

Anyway. Just wanted to let you know that, again, you’re not alone. Feel free to shoot me back a message if you ever feel like you need to talk or something. Hang in there man.

 

[MamaLove]

You are definitely not alone. I also started dealing with health anxiety in childhood, around age 10. I'm 35 now. I can go for long periods, even years, where I can manage my anxiety really well with a healthy diet, exercise, yoga, meditation, and a good spiritual life. And then sometimes, like now, I fall in a pit and none of that stuff is enough. I just got over a colon cancer fear and have immediately followed it up with liver/bone/lung fears.

I'm also terrified of doctors. I'm due for a physical soon and I really want to go, but I have to wait until I (hopefully) get through this current scare. There's just no way I can handle it right now.

I think JohnM gave excellent advice to remember how powerful your brain is in creating very real symptoms. It's an especially terrible cycle when your brain is sending out emergency signals, so then your body tenses up and you start to feel weird sensations, which just confirms to your brain that something is wrong, so then you get more tense, and on and on. I hope you're able to find some things that help you get through the hardest parts. Deep breathing is helpful for bringing me down from the anxiety peaks.

 

[SomeRandomDude]

Thank you both for your advice and reassurance!

Always helps calm me down reading all these posts and helpful information!